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(generated from captions) This program is captioned live. Tonight - an emotional Fire Commissioner pays tribute to the pilot who died helping authorities tackle our bushfire threat. The fires flare, fanned by strong winds. We're not out of this yet. Manufacture The Defence Force apologise as for sparking the blaze that burned homes last week. Royalty walks into town, praising our firefighters and the super job they are doing. ANNOUNCER: This is Ten Eyewitness News, with Sandra Sully. Good evening. Our hardened Fire Commissioner fought back tears this afternoon, paying tribute to a pilot who died while fighting one of the dozens of blazes burning across the state. David Black is a husband, father and loving family man. His water bombing aircraft came down in rugged terrain west of Ulladulla on the state's south coast this morning. Antoinette Lattouf reports. Protecting people's lives, cost him his own. The pilot was 43-year-old David Black. He was a father of 2. David was water bombing inaccessible bushland in the national park. Unconfirmed reports suggest one wing of the aircraft snapped off moments before it crashed about 10 Hunt 00am. There is a family -- 10:00am. There is a family suffering today because their dad hasn't come home. We are also feeling for the fire fighting community.The plane was owned privately but was contracted to the NSW Fire Service. Reaching the crash site was deemed too dangerous with smoke and steep rug terrain delaying the body retreefl. As soon as conditions say so, we can retrieve the pilot. The aircraft was part post office an investigation in February, due to problems with radio communication. Aircraft owners declined to comment. Hours earlier another pilot died on the slopes of Mount Hotham in the Victorian Alps. Wherever you have something that can't be controlled you have limited visibility, and multiple aircraft in an area, there is always danger.The single-engine Cessna was returning to Melbourne after dropping off spare parts for a helicopter being used in the firefighting effort around Ulladulla. Air crash investigation also be carried out at both scenes. Antoinette Lattouf, Ten Eyewitness News. This afternoon we were given another reminder why we can't rest for a moment with so many bushfires burning. In just a few minutes this afternoon, the RFS upgraded two blazes to emergency warnings, and Watch and Acts remain in place for three whores. -- others.

Adam, how are conditions up there? Well, just when we thought the worst may be over, late this afternoon the RFS upgraded two fire fronts to that emergency warning level. Those are the State Mine fire near Lithgow and the Mount Victoria blaze. There's been an increase in intensity here in the Springwood/Winmalee region. Fire at Springwood flares up again - this time perilously close to properties. Despite cooler conditions than yesterday, strong winds continued to spread the blaze. It was a potent reminder of the danger of bushfires, something the people of Lithgow know only too well - today their despair at this week's bushfire turned to anger as the RFS confirmed a Defence explosions exercise last week sparked the blaze that so far burned through more than 50,000 hectares and destroyed 3 homes.It was an accident. I suppose it's not a good accident.The dead grass around there, they should burn it off in the winter time.There will have to be a big investigation as to why.I do apologise, because it's been identified that this fire was the start of that fire.A total fire ban today, but the order wasn't in place the day the army undertook explosives training. Nevertheless questions have been raised about whether such exercises should happen in the midst of the fire danger season.We would all, after any event, review what happens and how it happens and where appropriate may seek to adjust or modify any strategies to mitigate anything like this happening again. Defence may oblige. This was an accident as a part of a training activity on a day where there wasn't a fire ban. Any lessons out of this we can take to better do our practices there, and there may be lessons we can put around to our other training areas around Australia.Defence says it is undertaking its own investigation. Now, so far no new loss of property here today. It's been several days since any properties have been lost in the Blue Mountains. The people here are not out of the woods yet. Thank you. With so many blazes burning, let's cross to Ali Donaldson at RFS Headquarters. Such an emotional day for everyone involved, but we're not out of this yet, are we?We certainly aren't. The latest figures on the board right now show there are almost 1,500 men and women still on the fire fields battling the blazes, trying to contain them. Today they were fighting with very heavy hearts.

The residents around the areas are being told to take sheplt, mainly because the roads in and out of the areas are too dangerous to travel on. So while homes are not under direct threat right now, travelling in and out is just too dangerous. High winds in those areas have hampered water bombing exercises. They are throwing the aerial cranes at the fires, trying to contain them, but as you said, we're still not out of the woods and all efforts are being made here to try to contain those fires. Thank you. We will get back to you shortly. Last night flames came uncomfortably close to homes near Redhead on the state's mid-north coast. The local community is singing the praises of authorities for saving their homes. Firefighters are still trying to make sure this blaze doesn't surprise them again. Water bombing the massive area which burst into flames yesterday afternoon - it took them all night to put it out. At that point children didn't know if they'd still have a school to go to. The school was saved but it wasn't easy leaving them here today. A little concerned yesterday, but fine today.Those who fled their homes last night can't believe they are still standing. The Gallaghers had moments to get out.There was no fire when I got in the shower, that I could see. I couldn't smell it or anything. And within 10 minutes it was here, so quick. Frightened, they ended up leaving everything behind. Youlike around the house and you think - what is important? You know, you realise the only things that were important to me at this particular time of my life were my mother's things.Linda's mother passed away this year - her crystal is all she has left. Thanks to firefighters, she still has that. From midday to midnight last night the fire blackened 0 hectares of land. On etchry perimeter of the fire, properties were saved. Firefighters are breathing a sieing of relief themselves.Definitely, when you get home at night, it's not a one-person effort, but a team effort of all resources. You sit back and have a think and we were very lucky.We're blessed. There's so many people out there that have lost their homes and lost everything. It makes you grateful for what we've got. They are grateful for those who managed to save it.

They may have beaten Mother Nature's burning fury, but our heroes are working day and nielgt - - night to protect homes and lives. Many have spent a week from home in makeshift tent cities across Sydney. As we found out, they will always put their community first. They're the men and women putting their lives on the line to save others. Selfless volunteers, affectionately known as 'Yellow Angels', helping to save NSW from another bushfire catastrophe. We have a job to do. We go and do it.We do our bit to pay the community back.Dozens of RFS teams are a long way from home and have been working around the clock. Probably have, probably 4/5 hours sleep.You're proud of yourself in the end. 79-year-old Noel Bultitude has been a NSW RFS volunteer for 6 decades. Age is not slowing him down.Still out with the young ones. Retirement is not an option. Probably carry me out in a box. Crews from out of town are now starting the long journey home, from what's been a hellish week. Despite having travelled hundreds of kilometres, they were happy to have played their part.Our pleasure, really was. It's part of the job.While not on the frontline of the fires, Peter Camilleri is helping bushfire victims and fireys in another way, trans-- fieries in another way, transforming his Penrith business into a collection point for donations.We've never been this busy ever. I am lost for words.Boxes are rolling in non- stop. Drop-off centres like this have been swamped. So much so they're now turning people away because they simply don't have the space. Generosity, thankfully, at an all- time high. Network Ten is joining forces with three other companies and the salvation Army to help communities affected by the bushfires and on- air time is being donated to promote a special edition of Saturday's Daily Telegraph. For each copy sold, the Daily Telegraph, CommBank, Crown Resource -- Resorts and Qantas will donate 25c to the Bushfire Appeal.

If you can't wait until Saturday, and you must give now, you can do so

The fires were top of mind when the Crown Princess Mary and Crown Prince Frederik arrived in Sydney. Ellie Southwood met them. They were here for official Opera House business, but that's not what Princess Mary was talking about.No it wasn't. Crown Princess Mary and Crown Prince Frederik are known for the way they relate to everyday people. They proved that again today. They're here on a 5-day visit to mark the 40th anniversary of the Opera House, but rather than talking about that today, Princess Mary was talking about us and the stories and pictures she's seen in our bushfire crisis. The Royal couple stepped out in Sydney for an Opera House celebration. Princess Mary knew there had been a bigger story around for days.I've been watching the situation closely from Denmark over the past 8 days. Our deepest sympathies go to those affected and our utmost respect to the work that's been done by professional and volunteers alike in trying to control these fires that are really scary.She spoke at length and from the heart. You know, luckily there's only been, luckily - can't say luckily - but how do you know - bushfires are part of the Australian life.Just as the Opera House is part of Australia's identity. The couple are patrons of its 40th anniversary, given it was designed by Denmark's Jorn Utzon. Today his son was there. It's a crowning achievement of some kind to be able to celebrate this. And the Crown Prince Couple didn't disappoint.I've always been dreaming of meeting a real princess. Now I did. It's fascinating. So funny. I'm really happy right now. Marry also spent time with this 97- year-old woman.She said, "Hello", and "Congratulations" and "Are the flies bothering you?" They are. She's so down to earth.CanCan you believe an Australian girl snagged him?Terrible, but that's the way it. The main event will be here on the steps of the Opera House on Sunday night, when they attend the gala concert for the 40th anniversary of this iconic building. That is after a private tour inside today. (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) On the itinery tomorrow it is the opening of a Danish jewellery store and school visit. On Monday night we have - they're called the Crown Prince Couple Awards - a Danish night of nights. From speaking to the travelling Danish media, I think that's what they are most looking forward to. Thank you. Ellie Southwood from a glorious backdrop. Still to come - we will check the traffic flow from Sydney skies. Plus - some chilling evidence at the trial of a Sydney man accused of throwing his fiance to her death. How just a few hundred mils of toxic fluid forced the evacuation of 5,000 students. And the revelation that Australia's most famous racehorse is expecting. And, by George - he's gorgeous. His Royal chubbiness christened in London. (SINGS) # The moon belongs
to everyone # The best things in life are free # The stars belong to everyone # The best things in life # Are free. #

Welcome back. The hazardious conditions can make it difficult for motorists, too. So let's get the latest with Vic Lorruso. The skys are clear, but not the roads? No, they are clear. The smoke is blowing to the south-west with this strong southerly. It is out towards Putty and Colo Roads, which are closed. This is Old Windsor Road after an stkwent. Traffic delays are going all the way back towards Northimmediate. It will be a slow run -- Northmeade. It will be a slow run. The Great Western Highway is open, Bells Line of Road and the Darling Causeway remain closed due to the bushfires. Thank you. The University of Technology was evacuated amid fears a chemical was unstable in the science facility. Around 5,000 students and staff were moved to safety areas and a major road was closed as HAZMAT teams rolled in. Authorities feared an acid closely related to the explosive TNT had been stored incorrectly. It was removed from the unionist sprersty and investigators gave the all clear within a couple of hours. The key witness in the murder trial of a man who allegedly threw his fiance off the 15th floor of a high apartment block has spent the day in the witness box describing what he saw. Joshua Rathnell thought it was luggage that had been thrown from the balcony, but later learned it was a woman's body. This is Joshua Rathnell, the key witness in the Crown case. He is describing to police what he saw the morning of July 30, 2011.I heard screams. I jumped.The video was played at the Supreme Court trial of Simon Gittany, the man accused of murdering his former fiance Lisa Harnum by allegedly throwing her from their high-rise balcony. There was a man without a shirt on, carrying what I thought at the time was a black suitcase, or a set of luggage or several items and it was like he was unloading them, throwing them off.Mr Rathnell told the court he was walking to work through Hyde Park that morning 2 years ago. He didn't know what he saw was a woman's body until other bystapbldzers told him. Simon Gittany had pleaded not guilty and claims MissH Lisa Harnum climbed over the rail herself. -- Miss Lisa Harnum climbed over the rail herself. The prosecution questioned him extensively on whether his perspective was handicapped. Mr Rathnell admitted it was hard to focus precisely, but said his view was unobstructed. As Simon Gittany sat in court listening to the evidence, his new girlfriend, and members of his family, sought solace at the church across the road. They prayed for an hour for a man who, if found guilty, could face years in jail. We can reveal first tonight that Sydney is on track for a new landmark hotel in the centre of the city. Two grand heritage site also be sold off to the hotel sector to raise revenue and boost visitor numbers. Josh Murphy has this exclusive. Sydney's moved on, but this has stood tall for more than 100 years - the grand sandstone Education Department Building. Right next door - the Planning Department. Both will now be sold off exclusively for new tourist accommodation. The NSW Government is moving to make this an exclusive divestment to the hotel sector.Statues of colonial explorers on the frontaj and another Sydney clock tower - there is as much value inside, all now up for grabs, to the highest hotel bidder.I will see some interesting designs with great brand names wanting to have access. The Premier wants to double visitor exexpenditure in the next 8 years but hotel supply is a barrier.In terms of bed numbers in Sydney n the past 10 years we've gon backwards.The Government promises heritage will be protected, but both sides may be offered -- sites may be offered as one package with the possibility of building up. Anything that the hotel industry can bring forward, we're happy to consider.While full con sprerion is some time off registrations of interest will be called for this year. And looking around here, it is little wonder there's already been extremely strong interest. The last Government land sell-off got $400 million, but this reserve price is secret. It's time for the weather with Tim Bailey. You have your head in some milder air, but the winds are once again a concern this afternoon? Yes. What has happened is that a low pressure system, a cold front, moved out to the Tasman Sea. It's created a dry south westerly change across Sydney. You would have felt it around 3:00pm. The south westers are gusting to 72km/h across Sydney Harbour. A nip in the air and a bit of a worry for fire grounds. It is abateing a little bit and will do so further tonight. The next 3 or 4 days will have much calmer conditions. We won't see wind gusts beyond 30km/h, which is a rather good thing. So far as temperatures are concerned in the next week, too, a real mild pattern is starting to emerge. We will go mainly between 23 and 28 degrees. The Greater West will have one day above 32 degrees in the next week. Apbldz Sydney will only see one 27- degree day. Most of them are in and around 23. Some good news.

Thank you. Up next - the teenage boy shot while using a toy gun. Also - the US Government on the backfoot over allegations it spied on Germany's Chancellor. The celebrity who makes big bucks after their death.

You're watching Ten News. In California, police have shot dead a teenager who was armed with a toy gun. Officers asked for 10-year-old Andy Lopez to put down what they thought was an AK-47. They didn't discover it was a replica until after he was shot several times. There is a difference between a cold hearted killer down the street with a gun than a little kid walking down the street with a BB- gun.Officers say the fake, which is on the left of the screen, was impossible to distinguish from the real thing. German leader Angela Merkel has phoned US President Barack Obama to question new claims America's spy agencies have been targeting the Chancellor's personal phone calls. Germany has called the revelations a grave breach of trust between close friends and partners.The President assured the Chancellor the United States is not monitoring and will not monitor the communications of the Chancellor. However, the White House avoided saying it has not monitored the Chancellor's calls in the past. Russia has dropped piracy charges against 30 Greenpeace activists, including one Australian, replacing them with the lesser charge of hooliganism. Australian Colin Russell and resident Alex Harris are among those who stormed a Russian oil rig to protest against drilling in the arctic. The new charge has a maximum penalty of 7 years. Michael Jackson is once again the highest earning dead celebrity, after being pushed into second place last year by Elizabeth Taylor. The former King of Pop is back on top with estimated earnings of $160 million so far this year. Elvis Presley was a distant second with $55 million. Prince George captured the world's hearts with his appearance at his London christening. His parents proudly showed off the 3-month-old while hundreds of Royal fans gathered outside the private service.

A little bit of hair, gorgeous George was carried in by his beaming father. The little prince was perfectly behaved, seemingly not bothered by the fuss. Only 22 guests were invited in, the Queen and her three direct heirs among them. Also in attendance, George's 7 godparents. The Queen's granddaughters are attending. The other 6 include childhood friends of William and Kate, and Julius Samuel, a cont -- confidante of Princess Diana.It's a break of tradition. It will be difficult to give a normal life.After the 45- minute private service, the Duchess carried George out. Her dressed his gown, a replica of the original worn at every Royal christening since 1841. The Middletons left beaming. Pippa performed one of the readings. Outside a few hundred Royal fanatics camped out, despite the fact that the ceremony took place behind palace walls.Even if I don't get a glimpse of them, at least I've been here.It's a privilege to be here. It will make history. (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Prince George can pull a crowd, even when there is little chance of getting to see him. His parents have shown him off twice since his birth, but future public appearances are likely to be rare for the time being. William and Kate are said to be protective of their prior privacy. After a busy day for George, a quiet night in at Kensington Palace and hopefully some sleep for Britain's favourite baby. Stay with us - a day in sport is next - plus, an announcement from the owners of Black Caviar. Also a milestone birthday for happy little veg vegs. And -- Vegemites. And Australian shares closed higher on the back of strong manufacturing data.

SONG: # Conversation! # WOMAN: Beetroot? That's easy. I take the Vanish,
pour the gel into the new lid, start rubbing it into the stain
with this great new rollerball, pop it in the wash,
put the cap in with it.

Just put the Vanish gel into the cap and put it into the washing machine. How good's that? The stain's gone
and the colours are bright. (UPBEAT
ROCK MUSIC) VOICE-OVER: Buy Vanish at Woolworths in October and raise $50,000 to help beat breast cancer.

Stay off the booze in Rio.

To another update on tonight's traffic conditions. Vic, you are now over delays at West Ryde. There was an accident near the West Ryde Shops. You can see traffic queueing towards Ryde. A slow run as motorists make the journey to West Ryde.

The darling Causeway is closed off.

Thank you. It's literally Sydney's longest lunch - running the length of Wollomolloo. 700 movers and shakeers gathered at the Wharf for Water event to raise money for young people with cancer.We want to build a Sydney specialised cancer centre here in Randwick. # Like a rhinestone cowboy Artists including san man that Jade and Timomatic performed. Richie Benaud has been injured after a car crash in Sydney. Mr Benaud's car left the road and hit a small brick wall. He was admitted to hospital suffering chest and shoulder injuries. The former test skipper is reported to be in good spirits and expected to stay in hospital to recover. On the same day that Prince George was christened, Australia's racing world revealed it is set to celebrate a Royal baby of its own. The announcement retired track Queen Black Caviar is in fol. The news comes a -- foal. The news comes as a stoot you celebrating her was unveiled in her home -- statue celebrating her was unveiled in her home town. A permanent reminder of perfection - Black Caviar now bronze.

A wonderful statue. It is something for people to see for generations. I was blown away by the attention to detail and how life-like it really looks.Rick Jamieson bred Black Caviar at his property and he funded the statue on the banks of Lake Nagambie.It is a significant monument for country Victoria. They came from well beyond the Gambie for a glimpse of bronze Black Caviar - Ron Harris drove from Ararat and Lee Mottershead says the undefeated champion is an icon well beyond our borders. That's the mark of it. An Australian star to be loved by the Brits. She has to be good.Having her immortalised in bronze may have been the final chapter, but moments before the statue was unveiled the news was made public - the mighty mare will be a mother.I think she will throw good f o, als. I know there's talk doesn't necessarily happen. I think it's how they are mated. I think she's been mated very well.Hopefully she will follow in Black Caviar's steps. The owners are undecide -- undecided of what to do with the first foal. The smart money is on racing her. Gosh, -- -- gosh - imagine that. Brad will have the sport, including David Warner on a mission to hold on to his test spot. And the family tragedy driving Mick Fanning towards his Third World title. Hmm?
Mmm. (DOORBELL RINGS REPEATEDLY) (CHILDREN SHRIEK AND LAUGH) Arrr.

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Our top stories - the Rural Fire Service Commissioner forced back tears paying tribute to pilot David Black who died fighting one of the blazes burning across the state. The Defence Force apologised for sparking the State Mine fire last week that destroyed several homes. We were reminded this afternoon how quickly conditions can change with fires at Mount Victoria and the State Mine, and they are listed as emergency warnings. David Warner's run of form has continued. Brad is here. Warner is making it almost impossible for selectors to drop him from the test side. He has smashed the highest Australian domestic one-day score in history. Warner, who played in the last Ashes test, was in superb touch, hiting a century off 75 balls against Victoria in today's semi- final.

With the Chairman of Selectors watching, he didn't stop. A stunning 17 - his third ton in 4 innings. It led the Blues to a 4- wicket win. Another man staking test claims is George Bailey - he says he isn't thinking about an Ashes call-up despite another terrific knock in Australia's 4th one-dayer in India. Bailey top-scored with 98, his 5th half-century in seven innings. He says a test debut is not on his mind. It's so far away, it's just ridiculous to look at it. There's guys at home playing Shield cricket. Australia KA when we get back. It's a different format.Glenn Maxwell belted 92 as the Aussies sit with India 2/96. Rain ended the play. Plenty of cricket. England is due to arrive in Perth tomorrow morning. The Brits' 3-month tour of Australia is on. The Aussies have only won two of the last 15 Ashes tests, allowing the English skipper to relish the favourites tag.I think when you win the last 3 series and the last series was just 2 months ago, I think that's a fair description.Captain Cook's men are aiming to be the first England side to win 4 consecutive Ashes series since 190. Despite his stellar year, Daly Cherry-Evans has missed out in a -- on a spot in the Kangaroos side. Brent Tate is returning to the international scene.

He played in the grand final and won a Clive church hill medal, -- Medal, but Daly Cherry-Evans has lost his spot with the Kangaroos. The English forwards get tired and Cameron can play a ball-playing roll.Sheens' biggest surprise is Brent Tate at right-centre. He will play his 24th test but first in 3 years.He's had good experience with Cooper on the right edge, and he's a good talker and good defender. He can score a try, too. I've never taken this jersey for granted. I've loved being a part of it. I fought my way back. Tate's recall is more special after overcoming 3 knee reconstructions, neck injuries, a busted jaw and broken shoulder.It's been a long road. There's been some doubts. To be back here, it's a really nice feeling.From a season veteran to a raw debutant, it's a feeling shared by Andrew Fifita. There's a lot of guys I want to play with here. I'm at the highest level and playing for my country. The world champion Kiwis open their campaign against Samoa but Sonny Bill Williams' inclusion threatens the undermine their defence.The boys want me to come in the squad. Things are going well.Sonn kwhrrbgs Bill could be the first Kiwi to win World Cups in -- Sonny Bill could be the first Kiwi to win World Cups in League and Union. Alessandro Del Piero has a chance to recover in time for Saturday's A-League derby. If ruled out, the coach has faith in Nicky Carle. Nicky's a good hope. And a lot of the spark and style will come from him hopefully. The Sydney rivals have one win between them this season. Mick Fanning opened up about the family tragedy that is driving his quest for a third surfing world title. The World Number 1 carrys the pain of losing his brother 15 years ago. Talking to Mick Fanning, it is easy to see the bond he shares with his older brother Shaun.I think about him all the time. Sometimes I sit there and think, is he here, or, you know, what would he be doing at this point in his life? Shaun passed away in a car accident when Mick was 16. He left a legacy that shaped his career.He had a really good work ethic. I think that was something that I picked up on and jumped on after his passing. Regardless of where Mick chases waves, Shaun is never far away.I feel the presence of my brother sometimes. You feel like you have more energy and I find like, when I feel like he's with me, I dream about him. The 32-year-old says there's no doubt that another world crown would be a dream. He can reach the semi-finals at Pipeline, but standing in his way is a man who knows about winning in Hawaii, 11- times world champion Kelly Slater. If I win, I beat the best surfer of all time. If I lose, I've lost to the best of all time. It's a win- win situation. And just maybe Fanning's late brother can help him win.Hopefully he is right there sitting on the beach and telling me which way to go. Let's hope that's towards another world title when Pipeline begins on December 8.

A change of pace. There's no "I" in team, but there's 8 in Zlatan Ibrahimovic's brilliance.

He is the 10th player to score 4 goals in a single Champions League match. A big performance. A big name. What about the lovely story of Mick Fanning. Let's hope he does it. A great showdown. December 8, here we go. Thank you. Pop back tomorrow if you're not too busy.I don't have anything else on. Coming up - Australia's favourite breakfast - it turns 90. I'm your daily Bailey. After weeks of talking about extremitys in air temps and winds, we will bring mildness to your place.

Introducing the new
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of lemongrass and ginger. WOMAN: Ooh!
A cheeky dash of herbs and garlic. A smack of barbecue sauce
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On our Late News it's not over yet - the latest flare-up in the NSW bushfire emergency. Wendy Matthew also join us for a chat and perform.

Beaming at you from under the magnificent Sydney Harbour Bridge, this is Ten Eyewitness News. The city is looking splendid. You wouldn't have nought a cold front moved out over the Tasman Sea and has created a very cold south westerly change across Sydney. The colour of the sky didn't change, it's blue. But the wind speed did. Wind-chill - 72kph an hour ago in the harbour. 65ks at Bankstown. They will abate, which is good news for the Blue Mountains' fires as well as other fire grounds. The air temperature will be milder over the enshoeing days. We are looking at temps in Sydney arpbldz23-25. -- around 23-25. In the Greater West which had a string of 30-plus, we can forget about that. One of those coming your way in 7 days. We will be from 25-28. Much milder air. Unfortunately no moisture, hardly a cloud in the sky across the next 3 days. As I told you last night, we've had 13mm of rain in the Sydney Basin for the month of October. We should be aiming for around 77mm. It's a dry old argument and it doesn't look, as I've had a look, a good hard look at the next 7 days. It doesn't look to be a good chance of showers whatsoever. The blue skies continue to shine, the winds ease, and we keep looking for rain. Let's get to the satellite tonight. Up we go. A low pressure trough produces thunder-loaded cloud from WA to Queensland. A cold front clouds SE NSW and Eastern Victoria and swings east of Tasmania. The map tomorrow, the northern trough thunders with humidity and unsettles inland WA. In our neck of the woods, a high clears NSW, Victoria and SA, whale a front goes all winter-like through Tasmania.

Thunder showers for Northern WA, the NT and Northern Queensland. Strong southerlys and highland snow. That's for Tasmania.

Have a ripping night. We will do it tomorrow Sandra. Catch you then. Finally - there are plenty of happy little Vegemites with our favourite spread celebrating its 90th birthday. Special guests joined the party in Melbourne, including one of the original Vegemite kids. It brings back such happy memories, happy childhood, and making those ads in the 1959.

Now, the original recipe has not changed and to date we've enjoyed more than 1 billion jars. That's Ten Eyewitness News for this Thursday. Updates shortly, the Late What the hell?

(SQUAWKS)

D'OH!

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(GRUNTS)

(GRUNTS)

HMM.

(GLASS SHATTERS,
ELECTRICAL CRACKLING)

("CHARGE" FANFARE PLAYING)

(CROWD CHEERING)

ANNOUNCER #1:
OH, YOU HATE TO SEE THIS.

I LOVE TO SEE THIS!

NOW THE OTHER PLAYERS
ARE JOINING IN.

ANNOUNCER #2:
UH-OH, SOMEONE COULD
LOSE A TOOTH!

(MAGGIE COOING)

THIS IS NO TIME
TO PAT THE BUNNY, MAGGIE.

DADDY'S WATCHING A VERY
IMPORTANT MID-ATLANTIC

HOCKEY LEAGUE CONFERENCE
SEMIFINAL DO-OVER GAME.

ANNOUNCER #1:
AS WE ENTER THE SEVENTH
AMAZING OVERTIME,

THE MEMBERS OFSESAME STREET
ON ICEWAIT IMPATIENTLY

TO BEGIN THEIR MATINEE
PERFORMANCE.

HOLD THE BLACK LABEL, MABEL!
THE UTICA MOHAWKS'

PETE MAVROUDIS HAS BROKEN
THROUGH THE 'TOPES' DEFENSE!

STOP HIM, BABANDO!

HE WINDS UP FOR THE SHOT,

AND DELACROIX SLIDES IN FRONT!

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE SPENDING
TIME WITH YOUR DAUGHTER.

I WILL WHEN IT'S
NOT SPORTS SEASON.

NOW I JUST WANT TO KNOW
HOW THE GAME ENDS.

AND THIS GAME IS OVER!

UNBELIEVABLE!

YOU'LL NEVER SEE ANYTHING
LIKE THAT AGAIN!

SO THAT WILL DO IT
FROM WAYNE BOCKHORN,

JEAN-PIERRE PETOMANE,
AND ME, DOC JACQUES LALONDE,

HERE AT UTICA'S KILL-KWIK
RAT POISON ARENA.

WHAT-WHAT'S THE SCORE?!

NOW STAY TUNED FORPICKING
THE PERFECT APPLE,

IT'S ALREADY
IN PROGRESS.

D'OH! THE SCORE, DAMN YOU!

ONCE AGAIN, TODAY'S FINAL
SCORE...
YEAH?

IS ALREADY IN THE BOOKS.
GOOD NIGHT!

(SCREAMS)

I WILL NEVER... KNOW...
THE SCORE!

(HOMER SOBBING)

YOU WANT TO KNOW THE SCORE?

I'LL TELL YOU THE SCORE.

OH, MARGE.

THIS IS A DEFINITE HIGH POINT
FOR OUR MARRIAGE.

HERE'S THE SCORE, MISTER...
YES?

YOUR DAUGHTER BARELY KNOWS
WHO YOU ARE!

THAT'S RIDICULOUS.

WHO'S YOUR DADDY, MAGGIE?

WHO'S YOUR DADDY?

(PANTING)

HE IS PRETTY GOOD
WITH HER.
OH!

(SNIFFING)

(SOFTLY GRUNTS)

(GRUNTING)

(HUMMING)

LOOK, MARGE, IT'S
JUST WHAT YOU WANT--

ME SPENDING THE DAY
WITH MUGGSY.

MAGGIE!

MARGE, YOU'RE NOT NAGGY.

YOU JUST SET THE BAR
IMPOSSIBLY HIGH.

CAN YOU AT LEAST BRING A SWEATER
FOR MAGGIE?

IMPOSSIBLY HIGH.

NOW, LET'S GET STARTED

ON THE GREATEST DADDY-DAUGHTER
DAY EVER!

(HUMMING)

HMM?

HMM.

(SCOFFING):
NOT EVEN HEATED UP.

TYPICAL DOG.

THIS IS IT, MAGGIE--

THE PLACE WHERE DADDY GOES
EVERY MORNING.

NOW, YOU LEARN YOUR NUMBERS
FROM THESE BILLIARD BALLS

WHILE DADDY GETS HAPPIER
AND HAPPIER

AND THEN SADDER AND SADDER.

MOE, WHAT ARE
YOU DOING?

I'M SPIFFING UP
THE PLACE!

JEEZ, CAN'T A GUY CLEAN HIS
BAR FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER

WITHOUT PEOPLE MAKING
POLITE INQUIRIES?

HUH. I GOT A WINDOW HERE.

OOH!

HEY, MAGGIE COULD
PLAY OUT THERE,

WHILE I WATCH HER
FROM IN HERE.

WHAT DO YOU SAY,
MAGGIE?

AW, HER FIRST ENABLING.

HOMER:
HI, MAGGIE!

LENNY:
UP HERE, BEAUTIFUL!

CARL: YO, MAGS!
IT'S ME!

UNCLE BARNEY!

REMEMBER I TAUGHT YOU YOUR ABCS.

# A-B... P-K... #

# R... #

SO, UH, I SUPPOSE
YOU GUYS

ARE STILL WONDERING WHY
I'M CLEANING THE BAR.

WOO!
HEY, MAGGIE!

MAGGIE! MAGGIE!
MAGGIE!
HELLO, MAGGIE!

HELLO, MAGGIE!
HEY, MAGGIE.

MAGGIE, LOOK-LOOK
AT MY FACE.

(CLEARS THROAT)

IT ALL BEGAN
ABOUT A MONTH AGO...

IT WAS A TYPICAL FRIDAY NIGHT:

ME SURFING THE NET
AT THE PUBLIC LIBRARY,

WITH OCCASIONAL DRINKING
FOUNTAIN BREAKS.

AH, JUST HOW I LIKE IT:

WARM AND RUSTY.

(GIGGLING)

(LAUGHING):
OOH!

I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT--

I FINALLY FOUND AN INTELLIGENT,
SOPHISTICATED WOMAN

WHO HADN'T HEARD
ANY OF MY KNOCK-KNOCK JOKES.

(COMPUTER DINGS)
"ORANGE WHO?"

ALL RIGHT, MOE, GIVE HER
THE PUNCH LINE NICE AND EASY.

"ORANGE YOU GLAD
I DIDN'T SAY BANANA?"

(DINGS)

THE GARGOYLE HAS LANDED!

(DINGS)
"YOU'RE FUNNY."

OOH, VERY NICE.

NOW, HOW CAN I PUT THIS? UM...

"ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE NOT
ACTUALLY SOME CREEPY GUY

IN A PUBLIC LIBRARY?"

(DINGS)
"NO.

HOW ABOUT YOU?"

(CLEARS THROAT)

"ACTUALLY, THERE IS A MUCH
CREEPIER GUY RIGHT NEXT TO ME."

YOU KNOW
I'M A WOMAN.

WE USED TO OWN A CAT
TOGETHER!

SHE HAD BABIES!

HERE'S YOURS!

(CATS MEOWING)
(SCREAMS)

MOE:
I WOULD DO ANYTHING
TO CHAT WITH MAYA,

SHORT OF ACTUALLY PURCHASING
A COMPUTER.

WE DECIDED TO TAKE
THE NEXT BIG STEP--

EXCHANGING PHOTOS.

OKAY, THIS IS IT.

I FINALLY GET TO SEE
WHAT SHE LOOKS LIKE.

DAST I CLICK ON THIS JPEG?

NO. I DASN'T.

YES, I DAST!

(CLICKS)

SO, WHAT DOES SHE LOOK LIKE?

ALL:
WHOA!

YEAH, SHE WAS A KNOCKOUT.

WHICH MEANT I WAS SCREWED,

BECAUSE NOW I HAD TO SEND HER
A PICTURE OF ME.

ALL RIGHT, BEFORE I SEND THIS,
I'D BETTER, UH,

UN-BEADY THE EYES,

DE-NEANDERTHAL THE BROW,

SMOOTH OUT MY HATE LINES,

LIGHTEN UP THE EAR HAIR,

SWITCH MY LIPS,

THEN, BLACK TIE THE WHOLE DEAL.

AW, I CAN'T BUILD A RELATIONSHIP
ON A LIE.

THE LIES COME LATER.

(CLICKS)

(DINGS)

SHE THINKS I'M CUTE?

OH, FRABJULOUS DAY!

(LAUGHS)
CALLOO CALLAY!

SO, THAT'S WHY I'M
CLEANING THINGS

AND FLUSHING THINGS,

AND MAKING THIS PLACE
LOOK RESPECTABLE.

(SNORING)

SHE'S COMING TO MEET ME,
HERE, TONIGHT.

(PHONE RINGS)

MOE'S RAT-FREE TAVERN!

OH, UH, HEY, MARGE.

YEAH, YEAH, HOMER'S HERE.

OH, OH, YOU WANT HOMER?

I'M SORRY,
I THOUGHT YOU MEANT HIMMLER.

HEINRICH HIMMLER.

YOU KNOW, THE GUY WHO INVENTED
THE HEIMLICH "MANURE"?

MARGE: THOSE ARE
TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE!

YEAH, WELL THEY'RE BOTH HERE,
AND NEITHER ONE IS YOUR HUSBAND.

THIS PRESS CONFERENCE IS OVER.

OH, MAGGIE MADE
SOME NEW FRIENDS.

AW, BURROWING YOUR HEAD
INTO YOUR DADDY.

A SIGN THAT MY BABY IS HAPPY
AND CONFIDENT.

(HUMMING)

HMM. MM-HMM.

(GROANING)

MM-HMM.

MMM.

MM-HMM.

(GRUNTING)

AH! YEAH.

OKAY, SHE SAID SHE'D BE HERE
AT EXACTLY 8:00.

YOU CALLING MY GIRL A LIAR?!

(CAR APPROACHING,
TIRES SCREECHING)

(CAR DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)

OKAY.

I'VE BEEN STOOD UP.

MOE, I'M DOWN HERE.

OH, YOU'RE A LITTLE PERSON?

NO, I-I'M SORRY,
I DIDN'T MEAN THAT.

UH, WHAT-WHAT'S
THE CORRECT TERM?

LITTLE PERSON.

WHOA!

LOOK AT ME
BEING POLITE!

SO, AREN'T YOU GONNA
INVITE ME IN?

OF COURSE, UM,
I-I JUST HAVE...

I HAVE TO TIDY UP
THE PLACE.

JUST ONE SEC.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

(PANTING)

(GRUNTS)

OOH!

EH, YEAH THAT'S BETTER.

SONG: 'ALMOST THERE'
BY OPUS ORANGE # Open your eyes # 'Cause we're almost there... # KFC's new Boneless. Skinless, boneless, delicious. Try a piece for $2.

Hungry Jack's Outlaw Menu, with Outlaw burgers, curly fries and a caramel choc sundae. The Outlaw Menu will leave you
with a taste... ..for the wild side. The burgers are better
at Hungry Jack's.

SO, MAYA, UM, HAVE YOU
ALWAYS BEEN THIS SIZE,

OR IS THIS LIKE
A BENJAMIN BUTTON DEAL?

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

NO, I MEAN, IT'S JUST

THAT YOUR PICTURE MADE YOU
LOOK MORE, UH, LIFE-SIZED.

WELL, THAT WAS TAKEN
AT LEGOLAND.

I WAS AFRAID YOU'D BE
DISAPPOINTED IN THE REAL ME.

WHAT, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

YOU'RE THE BEST THING
TO COME INTO THIS BAR

SINCE CABLE TV.

AND UNLIKE CABLE TV,
I AIN'T STEALING YOU

FROM THE CHINESE RESTAURANT
ACROSS THE STREET THERE.

I SEE YOU WATCH ESPN2!

I KNOW!

YEAH, THAT'S GREAT THERE,
LING CHOW.

SO, UH, YOU STILL
WANT TO GO OUT?

THAT'S WHY I'M HERE.

GREAT. LET ME GET
A CAR SEAT.

CAR SEAT?

YEAH, I TOOK OUT THE PASSENGER
SEAT TO SAVE GAS,

BUT I'M GONNA
USE IT NOW

'CAUSE WE'RE GONNA
DO THE TOWN!

SO INSTEAD OF GETTING
A NEW BAR SIGN,

I SAVED 300 BUCKS
BY CHANGINGMYNAME TO MOE.

MOE! YOU EAT ALONE
AGAIN TONIGHT, HUH?

TABLE FOR ONE!

FACING THE WALL!

WHOA, WHOA-- NOT SO
FAST, GARLIC PRESS.

I'M HERE WITH
MY DATE.

(GASPS):
SHE'S BEAUTIFUL!

BUT SO FAR AWAY.

(MAYA MOANING)

MMM, YOU'RE
A GOOD KISSER.

YEAH.

I PRACTICE BY
SIPHONING GAS

OUT OF OTHER
PEOPLE'S TANKS.

BUT I NEVER TASTED
SUPER-PREMIUM

THAT WAS HALF AS GOOD AS YOU.

OH, MOE.

YEAH.

(MOANING)

(CRICKETS CHIRPING)

(HUMMING)

HOW DID YOUR DATE GO, MOE?

INCREDIBLE.

I'VE NEVER FELT LIKE THIS
BEFORE.

AW.
AW.
AW.

SO, WHEN ARE WE GONNA MEET HER?

OH, I CAN'T WAIT TILL YOU GUYS
GET TO, UM....

(MAYA LAUGHING)

(TIRES SCREECHING,
HORNS HONKING)

YEP, THAT'S WHAT
WE'D DO!

UH, LET ME ASK YOU GUYS
SOMETHING.

HOW WOULD YOU
TREAT A PERSON

WHO'S GENERALLY
DYNAMITE

BUT, UH, IN SOME WAY
A LITTLE DIFFERENT?

YOU MEAN LIKE HOW
WE TREAT HOMER?

'CAUSE HE CAN'T REMEMBER
LIMERICKS?

I CAN, TOO!

THERE ONCE WAS THIS GUY

FROM AN ISLAND OFF THE COAST
OF MASSACHUSETTS, UH...

NANTUCKET, I THINK IT WAS.

ANYWAY, HE HAD THE MOST UNUSUAL
PERSONAL CHARACTERISTIC,

WHICH WAS, UH... UM...

(ALL LAUGHING)

LOOK AT HIM STRUGGLING
WITH THE SIMPLEST RHYME.

IT'S A-A-B-B-A!

(SOBBING)

(RHYTHMIC DRUMMING)

(JOINTS POP)

HOMER:
THERE YOU ARE!
(DRUMMING STOPS)

(BABIES WHISTLING)

AW. INNOCENT BABIES
WHISTLING NONCHALANTLY.

HOW SWEET.

MAGGIE WILL BE BACK
TO PLAY WITH YOU TOMORROW.

(RHYTHMIC DRUMMING RESUMES)

COME ON, MAGGIE.

HAVE SOME GRAPEFRUIT.

SHE SEEMS UPSET.

MAYBE IF I LAY DOWN A BEAT
ON MY BONGOS,

THAT WILL SOOTHE HER.

(RHYTHMIC DRUMMING)

(RHYTHMIC DRUMMING CONTINUES)

DAD, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA
WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO MAGGIE?

HOW WOULD I KNOW?

YOU'VE BEEN SPENDING
SO MUCH TIME WITH HER.

I HAVE NOT!

OH, RIGHT.
YOU THINK I DO.

HMM.

MAN (ON TV):
WHEN YOU LEAVE YOUR CHILDREN,

DO YOU REALLY KNOW
WHOM YOU'RE LEAVING THEM WITH?

YOUR LITTLE ANGELS
ARE SAFE WITH ME.

ENJOY YOUR SECOND HONEYMOON!

YOU, WASH ME UNMENTIONABLES!

AND, YOU, PREHEAT THE OVEN

FOR TWO CHILDREN AT 450.

(CACKLING)

MAN:
WHEN YOU CAN'T BE THERE,
PRYING-EYE SURVEILLANCE CAN.

WE TAKE IMAGES
FROM YOUR CAMERA,

SCRAMBLE THEM, BEAM THEM
TO OUR ORBITING SATELLITE,

UNSCRAMBLE THEM,
THEN SCRAMBLE THEM AGAIN,

THEN UNSCRAMBLE THEM
THAT ALL-IMPORTANT FINAL TIME.

OUR COMPETITORS CLAIM

WE SCRAMBLE OUR IMAGES
TOO MUCH.

WE SAY, "CAN YOU LOVE
YOUR CHILDREN TOO MUCH?"

(THREE GUNSHOTS)

THE ONLY THING BETTER

THAN PRYING-EYE WATCHING
YOUR CHILDREN

ISYOUWATCHING YOUR CHILDREN,

(LAUGHING):AND WE KNOW
THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN.

(DINGS)

HMM.

(BEEPING)

WAIT A SECOND, MARGE.

DO YOU REALLY WANT
TO USE YOUR BABY

AS A TOOL
TO SPY ON YOUR HUSBAND?

YES, YOU DO.

I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU.

WHEN YOU SAY IT, IT'S
NOT JUST IN YOUR HEAD.

(TIRES SQUEALING)

THIS IS WHERE I LIVE.

UH, SO IS THERE A KNOB

OR AN OPEN SESAME-TYPE
DEAL, OR WHAT?

MY HOUSE IS
OVER THERE.

YOU DIDN'T ACTUALLY THINK I
LIVED IN A TREE, DID YOU?

NO. HEY, NO.

HEY, A LOT OF PEOPLE
LIVE IN TREES.

UH, TARZAN,
THE BERENSTAIN BEARS,

FLOOD VICTIMS.

(SIGHS)

# UMPA-LUMPA,
WE ARE SO SMALL... #

GAH!

WHY SHOULD I BE WATCHING
ANYTHING WHEN I CAN LOOK

AT THE MOST BEAUTIFUL
THING IN THE WORLD: YOUSE?

MESE?

THAT'S RIGHT.

KISS THE TROLL
AND WIN A PRIZE.

(LAUGHS)

YEAH. MMM.

MMM, MMM, MMM.
MMM, MMM...

LISTEN.

THERE'S ONE THING
THAT KEEPS BOTHERING ME.

IS IT MY RELIGION?

'CAUSE I AM A SNAKE HANDLER,
BUT NOT AN OBSERVANT ONE.

IF WE HAVE KIDS, THEY JUST HAVE
TO HAVE A CEREMONY WITH A COBRA

BY AGE THREE SO
THEIR GRANDFATHER WILL BE HAPPY.

NO, THAT'S FINE.

IT'S JUST THAT
I CAN'T HELP WONDERING

WHY YOU'VE NEVER INTRODUCED ME
TO ANYONE YOU KNOW.

WHEN YOUR MAILMAN WAVED TO US,

YOU MADE ME HIDE
UNDER THAT TRAFFIC CONE.

WELL, I DO KNOW
THIS ONE COUPLE--

THE SIMPSONS, I
BELIEVE THEIR NAME IS--

THAT AIN'T TOO
JUDGMENTAL.

SHE'S A STAND-UP DAME,
AND HE'S A FALL-DOWN DRUNK.

AND, WELL, WE'LL MAKE
A DOUBLE DATE OF IT.

NOW, LET'S GET BACK
TO WHAT WE WERE...

HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?

WHOA. YOU TURNED
INTO A DOLL!

I JUST DO THAT
TO FREAK PEOPLE OUT.

(GIGGLES)
OH. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

So happy to see...
(POIGNANT PIANO MUSIC) ..to see him win that,
because he really deserved it. And he's just
an inspiration to anybody. WOMAN: (OVER P.A.) Best male actor
is Gerard O'Dwyer! (APPLAUSE) GERARD: Maria is smart.
She's a good friend. And she cares for me,
so I care for her.

(SINGS) # The moon belongs
to everyone # The best things in life are free # The stars belong to everyone # They gleam there for you and me # The flowers in spring
The robins that sing # The sunbeams that shine
They're yours, they're mine # And love can come to everyone # The best things in life are free

# And love can come to everyone # The best things in life # Are free. # MAN: Yeah!

(GIGGLES)
OH. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) (DOORBELL RINGS)

HERE SHE IS,
UH, HOMER.

THE WONDERFUL GIRLI
BEEN TELLING YOU ABOUT.

PLEASED TO MEET YOU.

UH, PERHAPS
THIS IS INAPPROPRIATE,

BUT I HAVE
A MECHANICAL QUESTION

WHILE THE KIDS ARE OUT
OF THE ROOM,

THAT I CAN'T HELP
WONDERING ABOUT.

UGH!

IN A NUCLEAR POWER PLANT,

JUST HOWISNUCLEAR ENERGY
TURNED INTO ELECTRICITY?

WELL, IF I REMEMBER
MY HIGH SCHOOL PHYSICS,

THE CONTROLLED NUCLEAR REACTION
CREATES STEAM

WHICH POWERS A TURBINE...

MAN, OH, MAN,
SLAP A RING ON THAT!

(LAUGHS)

ALL RIGHT, HOMER.

LET'S SEE
WHAT MY BABY'S BEEN UP TO.

(WHIRRING, STATIC)

HERE WE ARE, MAGGIE--
THAT PARK YOU LOVE.

HMM.

MARGE, MOE AND MAYA ARE HERE
FOR OUR DOUBLE DATE.

OH. OKAY, I'M COMING.

SEE YOU WHEN THE MOON COMES OUT.

(BOTTLES CLANKING TOGETHER)

(WHIMSICAL
INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

(POP)

MAN, THAT
MADE ME THIRSTY.

FOR YOU.

SHE'S BEAUTIFUL, MOE.

YEAH, SHE SURE IS.

(WHIRRING)

HMM.

HERE COMES
OURS, HONEY.

WOULD YOU LOOK AT ME.

I'M THE HAPPIEST BARTENDER
IN THE WORLD.

SORRY, FELLAS.

(SMOOCHING SOUNDS)

(SIGHS)

MAYA, THERE'S SOMETHING
I WANT TO ASK YOU.

UM, I... I DON'T KNOW
WHY I'M SO NERVOUS.

THIS MAKES MORE SENSE THAN
ANYTHING I'VE EVER DONE.

WELL, OTHER THAN KEEPING
ALL MY NETFLIX MOVIES

AND SAYING THE POST
OFFICE LOST 'EM.

ANYWAY, UM...

WILL YOU MARRY ME?

(GASPS)

ARE YOU ASKING ME
TO BE YOUR... LITTLE WOMAN?

WELL, AS LONG AS YOU DON'T
MIND HAVING A SMALL WEDDING.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

AND-AND WE CAN DRINK
CHAMPAGNE OUT OF AN ACORN TOP.

(LAUGHS)

OUR FIRST DANCE WILL BE
ON THE HEAD OF A PIN!

(LAUGHS)

I'VE BEEN HOGGING
ALL THE GOOD ONES.

ALL RIGHT, NOW YOU GO, BUT,
UH, HEY, KEEP IT SHORT!

(LAUGHS)

WH-WHAT'S THE
MATTER, DOLL?

WE WERE JUST HAVING FUN.

I STOPPED HAVING FUN
ABOUT TEN JOKES AGO,

AND YOU JUST KEPT GOING.

I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!

OH-OH, FORGIVE ME, KITTEN.

I MEAN CAT.
I MEAN, TIGER.

I MEAN SABER-TOOTHED
TIGER. I MEAN... AAH.

I THINK YOU SHOULD GO NOW.

OKAY. I SCREWED
THIS UP PRETTY BAD,

AND, UH... AND I'M SORRY.

HOW LONG DO YOU PEOPLE
REMEMBER THINGS?

GET OUT.

(CRICKETS CHIRPING, MOE CRYING)

(CRYING)

GUYS, AFTER ALL THE YEARS
I'VE GIVEN YOU ADVICE,

NOW I NEED
A LITTLE ADVICE FROM YOU.

WE NEVER FOLLOW
YOUR ADVICE.

THE ONE TIME I DID, I WENT
TO JAIL FOR THREE YEARS.

YOU MADE SOME GOOD FRIENDS,
DIDN'T YOU?

JUST 'CAUSE
YOU'RE CHAINED

TO A GUY DON'T MAKE
HIM YOUR FRIEND.

TOMATO, TOMAHTO. NOW,
HOW AM I GONNA WIN MAYA BACK?

WELL, IF I'VE LEARNED ANYTHING
FROM ROMANTIC COMEDIES,

IT'S THAT YOU GOT
TO MAKE A GRAND,

RECKLESS GESTURE,
THE KIND THAT LOOKS LIKE

IT MIGHT BLOW UP IN YOUR FACE.

BUT WHAT IF IT BLOWS UP
IN MY FACE?

UH, WITH YOUR FACE,
WHO CARES?

YOU GOT TO MAKE
ME SHORTER, DOC.

(LAUGHS)

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

I MEAN, TAKE OUT BONES,
GUTS, WHATEVER YOU GOT TO DO

TO MAKE ME A MICRO-MOE.

WHAT YOU'RE ASKING
IS COMPLETELY UNETHICAL.

NO LICENSED PHYSICIAN
WOULD PERFORM THAT OPERATION.

NOW CLOSE YOUR EYES,

AND WHEN YOU WAKE UP,
YOU WILL BE A WOMAN.

NO, NO, NO, NO.

I-I WANT TO BE
SHORTERFORA WOMAN.

UH-OH! I MIXED YOU UP
WITH THE LAST GUY.

(SCREAMING)

I LOOK NOTHING
LIKE JULIE NEWMAR!

Don't you think it's time? Time for another way? A better way?

A way of fairness, not greed. People before profits. Communities,
not just corporations. Prosperity for the many,
not just the few. It's time. Time for another way.

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I LOOK NOTHING
LIKE JULIE NEWMAR! MM. MM-HMM. HA!
MAYA IS GONNALOVETHE NEW ME!

(GASPS)
MOE, WHY DID
YOU DO THIS?!

WELL, I AIN'T
DONE NOTHING YET,

BUT I'M CONSIDERING IT,

BECAUSE I WANT
TO SHARE YOUR WORLD FOREVER.

MOE, IF YOU HAVE TO
BE LIKE ME TO LOVE ME,

THEN YOU'RE NOT
SEEING THE REAL ME.

OH, I SEE YOU, MAYA.

I SEE YOU EVERY TIME
I LOOK AT THE MOON.

I SEE YOU IN PUDDLES
AFTER IT RAINS.

I SEE YOU IN THE GLAZED EYE
OF A BARFLY

WHO'S HAD ONE TOO MANY. AAH.

SO CUT ME DOWN
TO SIZE, DOC.

AND CAN YOU WRAP
UP THE BONES

SO MY DOG CAN
HAVE FUN WITH 'EM?

BUT, MOE, I DON'T WANT SOMEONE
WHO SEES ME AS SHORT.

I WANT SOMEONE
WHO JUST SEES ME AS BEAUTIFUL.

GOOD-BYE.

(CRYING)

(SIGHS)

OKAY, NO MORE DELAYS.

I'VE GOT TO WATCH THIS.

(GRUMBLES)

(CREAKING)

(GASPING)

I'LL SAVE YOU, MAGGIE!

(GRUNTING)

I'M TELLING!

(GRUNTING)

OH, NOW WHAT?

(SHRIEKS)

(MUFFLED GROANS)

AW, SWEETIE,YOUSAVEDME.

WELL, I PROMISE THAT WHEREVER
YOU GO IN THIS WORLD,

I WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR YOU.

OH, MAGGIE, I LOVE YOU
FROM THE TIP OF YOUR TOES

TO THE BOW ON YOUR HAIR
WITH THE RED BLINKING LIGHT.

GOD BLESS YOUR MOTHER
FOR MAKING YOU WITH ME.

(SNIFFLES)

WHAT YOU WATCHING, HONEY?

(SNIFFLES)

HOMER SIMPSON, YOU ARE
A STRONG FINISHER.

AND I'M GOOD AT BEGINNINGS.

BOTH:
MMM, MMM!

(SIGHS)

(HUMMING)

UH, WHAT'S THE
MATTER, HOMER?

NOT A THING IN THE WORLD.

YEAH, I WISH I
COULD SAY THE SAME.

MOE, THIS IS A GREAT THING
FOR YOU.

YOU WENT FROM SITTING
ON THE SIDELINES

TO GETTING IN THE GAME.

SOMETIME WHEN YOU LEAST
EXPECT IT,

YOU'LL REALIZE
THAT SOMEONE LOVED YOU.

AND THAT MEANS
SOMEONE CAN LOVE YOU AGAIN.

AND THAT'LL MAKE YOU SMILE.

(SIGHS)

HEY, HOMER WAS RIGHT.

WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT
SUCH A LITTLE WOMAN

COULD MAKE ME FEEL SO BIG?

CAPTIONED BY
MEDIA ACCESS GROUP AT WGBH
ACCESS.WGBH.ORG

SHH!

This program is captioned live. Tonight - fire fighting plane goes down killing the pilot. Destruction, flames and fear. What posseses a child to try to start a fire? Our Olympic teams told to stay off the booze. And the grandmatter of Grand Designs, the oh so suave Kevin McLoed joins us live.

Good evening, we have with us Kerri-Anne Kennerley and Petey-Anne Helliar! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Great to be here. Good to have you.