Note: Where available, the PDF/Word icon below is provided to view the complete and fully formatted document
Disclaimer: The Parliamentary Library does not warrant the accuracy of closed captions. These are derived automatically from the broadcaster's signal.
SBS Late Night News -

View in ParlView

(generated from captions) (LAUGHS)


Shall we just bring
your top right up?

So skin to skin.
Yeah, OK.

If I'd been planning it, I wouldn't
have it planned to marry Ines.

I'd have married somebody
my own age,

but that wasn't God's purpose
in the plan.

I was straight, but there was
something about women as well.

You just...try things out,
don't you?

You told all your mates
that you fancied me.

It's embarrassing.

Oh, no. I'm actually pooing.

I can't stop. It's started now.

You alright?
I've shit.

Supertext Captions by
Red Bee Media Australia
Captions copyright SBS 2012

Carousel This program is captioned live. Flattened in minutes - New Zealand's largest city crushed by a tornado.Rubbish bins were flying at us. We were holding hands. The car started to tilt and lift. The wind was going nuts around us.The staggering toll of Typhoon Bopha - almost 500 dead. 200,000 homeless. Tanks deployed in Egypt's capital. And honouring a life that gave so much. We remember Dame Elisabeth Murdoch.Today we start our fond farewell to a woman who lived a long and amazing life.

Good evening. I'm Ricardo Goncalves. New Zealand has again been struck by natural disaster. Parts of the country's largest city, Auckland, were flattened by a devastating tornado. The violent storm struck at lunchtime, causing widespread chaos and disruption. Three people were killed, at least seven needed hospital care, and hundreds have been left without homes. The vicious storm cells swept in from the Tasman Sea without warning. Tearing through neighbourhoods and terrifying residents.Rubbish bins are coming flying at us and we're holding hands and praying. The car started to tilt and lift. The wind was going nuts around us and trees are flying at us.Homes were smashed and more than 1,000 lost power, triggering a wave of calls to emergency services. The military was called in to help as at least seven people were taken to hospital. Tragically, three people were killed when a slab of concrete fell on to a truck. On a building site in the city's north.He was working over the other side there and he ran to get in front of the truck and that was the last they saw of them.Locals say they didn't see anything coming.I lost my garage and trampoline and a few other bits and pieces. Just checking out the neighbourhood now to see how friends survived.I was scared once I heard the trampoline smack in to the window. -- tree smack into the window.Hundreds of people were moved to a temporary shelter after 150 homes ry shelter after 150 homes were evacuated due to extensive damage. Meteorologists say the storm system is moving to the south-east and more tornadoes are possible. Aus Aid told SBS is tent a rapid response team member to facilitate Australia's response to the typhoon which has devastated the southern Philippines. The the southern Philippines. The death toll from Typhoon Bopha has risen to almost 500, with up to 200,000 people thought to have been made homeless. Plucked from the mud, this toddler emerged alive from his terrifying ordeal. 24 hours buried after Cyclone Bopha tore through the region. This man in agony. Yet one of the lucky ones. No escape for some of the country's poorest people, such as those who made their homes on landslide-prone sites.

Others desperate to find loved ones.

More than half the dead are on the island. People overkwhemed recovering rel -- overwhelmed recovering relatives and friend. Up to 180,000 have fled their homes for evacuation centres, some resting on the little awnings.

Several towns are still cut-off by landslides and officials have appealed for food, water and clothing. Japan and the US offered help. Canberra has sent a rapid response team member to see how Australia can assist. Despite the death toll, the UN said early warning systems were rapidly improved. A cyclone last year killed 1,400 people. At least five tanks have been deployed outside the Egyptian presidential palacee Egyptian presidential palace. The daylight violence followed a deadly night with at least five people killed on the streets of the capital. Supporters and opponents of President Mohammed Mursi have been clashing there for the past few hours. Witnesses have reported rocks being thrown between the parties despite the military deployment. Soldiers have urged supporters to retreat in a bid to end the at in a bid to end the confrontation. Spoiling for a fight, supporters of the President responding to calls from the Muslim Brotherhood to send on the presidential palace to remen straight with anti-government protesters. The passions boiling over. The day giving way to a night of running battles. Shots ringing out in the distance as Molotov cocktails lit up the night sky. As well as the handful of deaths. More than 350 people were injured. The opposition increasingly concerned that they have replaced one dictator with another.

As the security forces struggled to keep the two sides apart, the government offered a compromise, agreeing to work with the opposition to amend the disputed articles in the draft constitution.

But the government is only offering to amend the constitution after it has been ratified in a referendum due to take place in just over a week. Not good enough for the protesters who fear that President Mursi has hijacked their revolution.

Tonight, the protesters have largely heeded calls to disperse, buts sporadic violence continues. There are growing fears the Syrian government is a step closer to using chemical weapons. Reports out of the US suggest that sarin gas chemicals have been loaded on to bombs. The claims coincide with rumours that Bashar al-Assad is preparing to flee the country. His army is on the ropes, fighting for its life around Damascus and Aleppo. He may be in the process of making chemical weapons. Right now, everything about Syrian President Bashar al-Assad smacks of desperation. Now the US State Department is looking in to reports he's looking into the possibilities of seeking asylum for himself, his family and their inner circle in Latin America.We do understand that some countries, both in the region and elsewhere have offered to host Assad and his family should he choose to leave Syria.Syria's deputy foreign minister was recently in Venezuela. The Minister was aaccording to an Israeli newspaper in Cuba and Ecuador, bringing classified letters from Assad to leaders there. We could not get response from Syrian representatives in the US or from officials of any of those latden American governments. Moultple sources in the US, Europe and the Arab world say there is no indication Assad is ready to leave Syria.Will he go down fighting?I think there's a real chance he will huddle along with his sect. The question is whether they'll want him to huddle with them or not? He's a very erratic personality. This analyst has met Bashar al- Assad several times, has worked with Assad's wife. The sect he's talking about are an offshoot of Shia Islam, a small minority that Assad's family is part of that dominates Syrian politics. If Assad does leave, itics. If Assad does leave, could he be investigated, eally captured on war crimes charges -- eventually captured on war crimes charges? In Ecuador and Venezuela he could feel safe for the time being but he has to be concerned about a shift in the winds in any of those governments as well. Certainly no- one expects the regimes in those three states to continue indefinitely. Right now, those nations' leaders are more sympathetic to Assad but there's another ally, even closer.Couldn't he just go to Iran? Is that a more feasible location?? Is that a more feasible location?It's easier for him and a shorter flight. In the end, the Islamic Republic is the place where President Assad and his family are ent Assad and his family are going to be safe.The chemical weapons fears emerged when US officials told American broadcaster NBC that nerve agents were locked and loaded inside bombs. The NSW Police Commissioner has paid tribute to detective inspector Bryson Anderson who was disafternoon killed on duty. Detective inspector Bryson was called to a violent neighbourhood incident in Sydney's nort west when he was allegedly struck in the head with an axe. He died shortly after. Commissioner Andrew Scipione described him as one of the force's finest officers and a damn good bloke. Two people were arrested over the death. Detective inspector Bryson was a father of three. Despite economists predicting a rise in unemployment, the jobless figure for last month has fallen. More than 18,000 people found part- time work during the past month, offset by a little more than 4,000 losing full-time jobs. Amidst a sea of worrying economic data, the latest jobs report appears to have thrown an unexpected lifeline to the economy.We coo have han unemployment rate,have han unemployment rate, it is below 6%. In the US, it's close to 8%. In Europe, it's close to 12%. We're doing much better than countries around the world.The headline unemployment figure is down, dropping to 5.2% in November. While the number of Australians out of work fell by 16,300. Most economists were . Most economists were caught offguard. That's substantially better than I was looking for and most economists were looking for. The first thing that crosses my mind is whether these numbers are believable. Economists have been getting used to the data deteriorating. It's nice to see it go well.Shane Oliver said the jobs figures are yet to reflect conditions in a slowing economy.My feeling is the jobs figures will start to catch up with the real economy. The jobs markets often lags, the employment sector lags by around three to six months.The Workplace Relations Minister called the jobs figures outstanding but warned against complacency fpts some say our performance of that of our near neighbours suggests in some quarters Australia is already complacent.We, Australia, are surrounded by economies doing better than us through the GFC and since the GFC, way better than Australia. If woe start to compare ourselves with our regional neighbours, we're at the bottom of the table.The Sydney-based Exodus Foundation which ey-based Exodus Foundation which feeds homeless people and provides assistance for the poor today reported a 24% increase in demand for its services over the past three months. And Greece's unemployment rate has tonight hit a record high of 26% in September, more than double the eurozone average around 1.3 million Greeks don't have a job. Dame Elisabeth Murdoch job. Dame Elisabeth Murdoch has been remembered as a remarkable Australian and a tireless worker for charities. The Murdoch family matriarch died last night at the age of 103. Network Ten chairman Lachlan Murdoch has described his grandmother as a saint. His father, Rupert, has spoken of the loss of a wonderful mother. A steady stream of mourners left floral tributes outside Cruden Farm.Just a lovely lady. An inspiration to everybody that was acquainted with her.We thought we'd get some flowers from the guard toon say thank you for sharing.A 1928 wedding present to Dame eliz bgtsrr, the lush garden estate often hosts public -- Elisabeth, the lush garden estate often hosts public events.We're here for the open days.Remembering a woman who was far more just the wife and mother of two of Australian history's biggest media moguls.Dame Elisabeth Murdoch was a remarkable Australian. We start our fond farewell to a woman who lived and long and amazing life.A life that began as Elisabeth Green in 1909. At 19, she married Sir Keith Murdoch who is 24 years his senior. After his death, he watched the corporate rise of son Rupert and made her own name as one of the nation's most generous benefactors. Ifia have money, it is easy to give it away. It's nothing to be proud of. But it's being involved.In a statement on behalf of the family, Rupert Murdoch spoke of the loss of a wonderful mother.

When it comes to Dame eliz bgtsrr, philanthropy in health, -- Elisabeth, philanthropy in health, her involvement stretches back to 1933, when she first joined the committee of management. The Queen acknowledging her work at last year's opening of the new hospital. While patients celebrated the lightss of the Christmas tree at the Royal Children's, it was a day of reflection on Dame Elisabeth's role, in setting up a world leading institute in its walls.Leading research in allergy, in brain development, in a range of different genetic conditions.Dame Elisabeth has created a sense of giving and it encouraged people to give and to contribute. Dame Elisabeth was a wonderful practical contributor. She did a lot of the hard work herself.A hard-working community contributi hard-working community contribution that will endure well beyond our passing. Coming up after the break - the end of the world is coming. The story behind Julia Gillard's bold prediction.

It makes sense that when businesses
buy in bulk, they save. But if you see your Holden dealer
before December 16, you'll save too, with Holden's National Fleet Pricing
for all, across a range of
2012 plated Holdens like the Barina CD hatch, now down to $15,585. Or the Cruze CD, down to $19,913. See your Holden dealer before December 16 and save like a fleet buyer without being one, with Holdens National
Fleet Pricing for all.

You guys grew up together?
Since third grade. What are you looking at?
I'm not... We're not good enough for you, huh?
You must be supermodels! What do you model? Gloves? Brad, eat a Snickers.
Why? 'Cause you get a little angry
when you're hungry. Better? Better.

The Federal and State Governments are at loggerheads. Conservationists have warned a State takeover could threaten some of Australia's most vulnerable eco- systems. Julia Gillard is warning the enof the world is nigh. It's not every day the PM makes an announcement like this.My dear remaining fellow Australians, the enof the world is coming.She's recorded a spoof message for an ABC radio show which is poking fun at the prophecy that the world will end this month.Whether the final blow comes from flesh-eating zombies, demonic hell beasts or from the total triumph of K-Pop. If you know one thing from me, it is this - I will always fight for you to the very end.Conservationists are warning of an environmental apocalypse. They say natural treasures would be up for sale.We know only up for sale.We know only too well how badly the States manage the environment. Business leaders have gathered in Canberra ahead of tomorrow's COAG meeting. They want to cut what they call green tape, removing duplication.It's important for us to get projects approved in line with the law. But get them done as quickly as possible.Negotiations have got bogged down. The Commonwealth wants the States to put forward a uniform position to resolve the matter.The commitments that were made in April were seriously made and received by the business communities. We expect them to be followed throughThe depreens say the States can't be trusted -- Greens say the States can't be trusted.They will always acts in their own interests.They say it's not a victory but a reprieve for the environment. Julia Gillard's had a victory. NSW and the Commonwealth have struck a deal on the National Disability Insurance Scheme, the first of its kind. The Commonwealth will provide over half of the funding for the scheme in NSW in 2018.This deal sets the benchmark. It shows to the other States and Territories that it can be done.She hopes other leaders will strike a deal when they all meet tomorrow. To the markets now. In Australia, the All Ords finished lower.

A millionaire fugetive businessman has been arrested in South America. John McAfee was taken in to custody. The 67-year-old has been caught up in an investigation in to the fatal shooting of a neighbour. One of Australia's most promising tennis players has been dropped from the Davis Cup team because of his attitude. Tennis Australia said Bernard Tomic will not play the opening tie in Taiwan, criticising his approach to the game. But Tomic saw it differently.I was never meant to play that Davis Cup tie. I spoke to Pat as well. I'm going to use that time to train to prepare for other tournaments.Australia's best tennis player, Sam Stosur had some advice for Tomic.. He has this unbelievable tennis ability and not really using it. Everyone would like to see him knuckle down and do his best. uckle down and do his best. Tomic says he plans to be the best player his sport has seen. Coming up - the weather. And the right royal apology. Australian radio hosts say sorry for their monarch mischief.

It makes sense that when businesses
buy in bulk, they save. But if you see your Holden dealer
before December 16, you'll save too, with Holden's National
Fleet Pricing for all, across a range of
2012 plated Holdens like the Commodore SV6 Z-Series, now down to $35,585. Or the Captiva 7 SX, down to $30,497. See your Holden dealer before December 16 and save like a fleet buyer without being one, with Holdens National
Fleet Pricing for all.

The Duchess of Cambridge has left hospital. Prince William was with kagts rn as she left hospital. -- Catherine as she left hospital. The royal couple had made no comment. As they left, maintaining a dignified silence over the prank call made to her bedside by an Australian radio station. Even the presenters themselves could not believe it worked. Today FM host dialed the hospital, pretending to be the 86-year-old monarch.Could I please speak to Kate, please?Just hold on.With proumably no protocol to follow, the switchboard operator put her through to a nurse.. Are you there?Good morning. How may I help you?I'm after my granddaughter, Kate. I want to see how her tummy bug is going?The conservation continued with the nurse believing she was speaking to the Queen. was speaking to the Queen. The nurse launched in to a detailed update about Kate's condition. She completely ignored Kate's right to confidentiality, telling the hosts the patient had an uneventful night after being given rehydration fluids. The prank made headlines around the world, leaving the hospital chief mortified. He confirmed that Kate's condition had been discussed and said the incident was deeply regrettable. It's deeply embarrassing because the exclusive private hospital has treated the royals for over 100 years.That information is already in the public domain. I think this whole thing is pretty deplorable. Our nurses are caring, professional people, trained to look after patients, not to cope with journalistic trickery of this sort. The radio station has apologised, saying they never expected the call to get beyond the switchboard. Kate has had more visitors, her sister, brother and mother dropped in. And Prince William. No-one had anything to say publicly about the telephone trick. Let's go to the weather now. A low crossing Western Australia is triggering potentially severe thunderstorms. Storms forecast for northern Queensland with hot winds and high fire danger.

Finally, congratulations to Luke Waters. He has tonight won a Prestigious Australian Sports Commission award for three reports. The award was for the best report on community sport. And that is the world this Thursday. We leave you tonight with Australian singer gotier -- Gotye. He has won top honour for record of the year for his hit. I'm Ricardo Goncalves. Have a good night. Supertext captions by Red Bee Media -

It makes sense that when businesses
buy in bulk, they save. But if you see your Holden dealer
before December 16, you'll save too, with Holden's National Fleet Pricing
for all, across a range of
2012 plated Holdens like the Barina CD hatch, now down to $15,585. Or the Cruze CD, down to $19,913. See your Holden dealer before December 16 and save like a fleet buyer without being one, with Holdens National
Fleet Pricing for all.

VOICEOVER: Right now, disease
is spreading through communities. Natural and man-made disasters
are putting lives at risk. But without the money
to provide medical aid, our ability to help those in need
slows to a halt. By donating $20 a month
to Medecins Sans Frontieres, you can help keep things going, providing surgical equipment
and vital vaccinations, bringing medical assistance
to people who need it, no matter who or where they are. Please call this number
or visit