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(generated from captions) AND PUT HIM ONSTAGE
UNDER THE NAME

THE ROLLING STONES.

THE FIRST CONCERT WAS A SELLOUT

WITH MANY, MANY,
MANY PEOPLE EATEN.

BUT THOSE THAT SURVIVED RAVED
ABOUT THE UNDENIABLE HARMONIES

AND BRUTALLY HONEST LYRICS
OF WHAT THEY HAD JUST SEEN.

AND OUT OF THE WRECKAGE
OF THAT CONCERT

CRAWLED THE WOMAN WHO WOULD
LATER GIVE BIRTH TO ME,

NOT ONCE BUT FOUR TIMES

'CAUSE IN THOSE DAYS, IF THEY
DIDN'T LIKE THE WAY YOU LOOKED,

THEY WOULD SEND YOU BACK IN
TO BAKE A LITTLE LONGER.

AFTER FOUR TIMES, THEY JUST
DECIDED TO CUT OFF MY TAIL.

BUT YOU CAN STILL SEE IT
IN THE BRITISH MUSEUM,

WHICH, INTERESTINGLY ENOUGH,
IS IN FRANCE,

NOT THE FRANCE YOU'RE THINKING OF,

BUT A MUCH BETTER ONE FILLED WITH
PALM TREES AND LEPRECHAUNS.

BUT I DIGRESS. IN FACT, I USED

TO BE A PROFESSIONAL DIGRESSER.

BUT I DON'T WANT TO GET OFF-TRACK.

SO I'll TELL YOU ABOUT THE TIME

I WAS A PROFESSIONAL DIGRESSER.

THE YEAR WAS 2021.

I'D JUST RETURNED FROM A VACATION

WHERE I'D EATEN MORE THAN MY FILL

OF TACOS,

NOT THE TACOS YOU'RE THINKING OF.

DID I EVER TELL YOU ABOUT THE
TIME I STARTED GRACIE FILMS?

SHH!

HOMER: HEY, SHUSH YOURSELF!

CAPTIONED BY MEDIA ACCESS GROUP
AT WGBH ACCESS.WGBH.ORG

This program is captioned live.
Tonight - Warnie waters down rivers of a comeback. What do young Aussies care about most when it comes to their future? Try volunteering - it's good for others and you. The ninth attempt to stop the Japanese whaleing expedition. John C Reilly and Sarah Silverman join us live in the studio. This is The

Welcome to The Project. We have Gorgi Coghlan sitting in for Carrie. We have Wil Anderson. As well as Nicole Livingstone. (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) And we have a cracking show for you tonight. We'll get under way. What are the headlines? In the news today - Westpac, NAB and the Commonwealth Bank have all moved on interest rates but the cuts aren't as generous as hoped. Each passing on 20 basis points instead of the Reserve's full quarter of a percent. Meanwhile, the latest economic growth figures have come in weaker than expected. The family of a Brisbane schoolie who died in fegehave described him as a kine and fun-loving young man. 17-year- old Harrison Kadell's body was found in a resort pool early yesterday. A bushfire is burning near homes in Sydney's north-west. The blaze at Lane Cove National Park has escalated quickly with strong winds hampering firefighters. Meanwhile, a West Australian town remains on fire alert with authorities hopeful they can save Bremer Bay from a massive blaze. The Victorian Taxi Directorate says it will be tough to investigate claims of racism against a cabbie who refused to pick up Aboriginal musician Geoffrey Gurrumul Yunupingu after a gig in Melbourne last night. It says without a taxi number or number plate, it's difficult to identify the driefbger involved. Mark Grose is -- driver involved. Mark Grose is part of Gurrumul's management team. How did this unfold?At the end of the gig at 10:30, I went out to hail a taxi and tried to grab one for Gurrumul and the crew. Had no trouble getting a taxi. 40 seconds. No more than that. Got the taxi guy to park next to the stage door and Gurrumul being blind, he needs a carer to walk with him. So he's a bit slower. He walked down the corridor. Stepped out on to the street. The taxi driver looked at him and said, "No way," and drove off.Could this have been anything other than a race issue?No. The taxi driver had no idea where the fare was going to. There was no other information available to him that would lead him to any other conclusion other than I'm not taking him because I don't like the colour of his skin. Gurrumul's known as a very shy and humble man. How is he reacting to all the fuss today?Like all indigenous people, it's a common occurrence for most indigenous Australians and he at the time sort of laughed it off and has laughed it off today but Michael and I who work with him closely have seen these things happen too many times and it's the straw that broke the camel's back for me. This can't happen anymore.We appreciate your take on the story. Good on you for raising the awareness. And Gurrumul's uncle, Mandawuy Yunupingu is expected to be released from a Darwin hospital in the next few days. Yunupingu has been battling recently disease and was airlifted there after collapsing yesterday at his home. And Shane Warne may not be up for a test cricket comeback after all. He's used Twitter to clarify his comments, claiming he was asked could he make a comeback, not would he.

In Warnie's defence, his buddy might be 43 but his face is years younger.If you have a look, he has the hair of a 12-year-old boy too. Literally.A 12-year-old boy. I honestly, do you think he could do it? Obviously he's going to have to eat a lot of baked beans to get back to his playing weight, but do you think he could do it?He wanted to spend more time with his family, by which he means he has a really hot girlfriend.He is fitter now, I think, than when he was playing. Potentially he could. How fit do you need to be a cricketer anyway? They're very angry with you now.He only needs to run about 15 metres. One place Warnie is playing is the Big Bash Twenty20 comp. All the stars were there last night, including the great Sir Vivian Richards.OK.Yep.

Oops. Fortunately, they had the perfect person on hand to fix it.

(LAUGHTER) Hulk repair! A 'New York Post' front page photo of a man about to be hit by a subway train has sparked global contrufbacy, with many asking why did -- controversy, with many asking why the photographer didn't do more to help? A man is pushed off a station platform and on to the tracks as a train rapidly approaches. The freelance photographer's split- second decision was, he says, to try to warn the driver by using his camera flash. His efforts failed and the man on the tracks was killed. He brought the images he captured to the 'New York Post' which published one on the front page. As a result of his snap decision is now being debated, second-guessed and criticised all over the world.Everyone involved in the media, first and foremost a human being, if someone's life is being threatened, your first duty is to try and help that person. He's far from the first bystander natoo not intervene in the face of trag -- to not intervene in the face of tragedy. Sadly, the more witness there is are to an emergency, the less like lay they are to help. Psychologists call it the bystander effect. It's not clear that's what's happened here. We know there was an altercation and the photographer says he didn't have time to act.

The simplistic answer is he could have put the camera down and tried to help but is it really fair to judge one person's split-second response from the comfort of our own loungerooms? Tim is a philosopher and journo who blogs about this kind of thing.It's really hard to know what we would do in a situation like that. But I think it's also really important for us to pause for a moment before we judge this guy. Because this situation, this story is so murky and we don't even yet have all the facts. If it was the case that taking the photographs prevened him from helping the guy, -- prevented him from helping the guy, it would befair to say he should have dropped his camera and done whatever he could to save the guy. Generally speaking, many journalists find themselves reporting on this - where is the line reporting on what they see or actually intervening to mick a difference?This is a curly one and one that's faced by a lot of journalists. And particularly photo journalists who find themselves in these situations where they feel as though they can intervene. But their job is to document and in the process of documenting, presumably they're doing some good as well. What I think is different about this case is this is not a war crime. This is not documenting domestic violence or something like that, this is really voyeurism. This is kind of some vulgar emotional button pushing that's very tabloid.What about the newspaper, should they have published this photo?They're doing it, they're publishing it because the audience is out there or they presume the audience is out there. They're going to say what they did was justified and they're going to say the audience is wanting this kind of material and they're feeding it.Can we use the it's the audience's fault excuse as well? We still showed the photos.It's another curly question. In a way, having a conversation about the publishing is different from publishing it in the first place. The motivation behind the 'Post' publishing is because it sells newspapers. You're talking to a philosopher, hopefully our motivation is to talk about the issue and raise the more reflective general issues involved. That said, I wouldn't doubt if in theback of every editor and every producer's mind who is talking about this story at the moment is the idea that this is a really inflammatory emotive, passionate image. And it's going to get people's attention. Even though we can justify it by the kind of conversation we're having now, which I think is good, there's probably a media angle to it as well.Well, it's fascinating stuff to think about. Thank you for your time.Thank you.You have been a TV journo, a news journo, where would you draw the line - humanity versus the story?Alwaysen my experience and with my camera crew, being a human and instinct and looking after other people just kicks in. Even though haven't had a situation exactly like that, but if you were to see a mother on a pram you would turn the camera off and run and help.In that situation, the guy then sold it. He took the photo. It must have been awful, whatever his decision was in the moment, he then went and sold it.A family left behind as well.Hope they'll get the money from the photo. Many hardworking Aussies organisations have used today to put a call out for more helping hands.Volunteers are the glue that binds our communities and neighbourhoods together. People who do volunteer make a really huge difference.It's the simple sentiment at the heart of International Volunteer Day. You can mick a difference. The most recent survey showed that 36% of adult Aussies volunteer each year. That's around 6.4 million people. Slightly more of them are women than men. And the most active age group is 45 to 54.We want to see more young people volunteering or getting involved in community organisations, people who volunteer very often tend to be a lot happier and have better self-esteem. There's science to back all of this up. A World Health Organisation report shows volunteering is like a vitamin for happiness. It really is good to be good. But volunteering is also crucial to the health of organisations on the frontlines of some of our most important social issues.Lifeline is always looking for volunteers. Without our volunteers, we're not able to answer half a million calls a year. What if everyone who was able to gave up one day a year each year to volunteer? It would have to make a pretty big difference. We met Andrew Heslop, the creator of Neighbour Day, he was named NSW skpn volunteer of the Year. What -- Volunteer of the Year. What do you get out of volunteering?The satisfaction you're contributing to the community and not getting any financial backing in return but you're seeing so much change and positive interaction with the people who live around you.For those at home who are thinking they're overrun with commitments, how would you suggest they can volunteer?It can be looking at your diary and working out whether you can do the Walk to School with the kids in your street. As simple as taking everyone to sport on Saturday mornings and taking the Freddo Frog drive in to the office. You can do a lot with a little bit of time.On top of Neighbour Day, you're an Australia Day Ambas d a champion of the NBN, an Out reach Partner for the Department of the PM and a Jamie Oliver Food Ambassador. Are you addicted to volunteering?I'm not addicted. My grandmother and mother have always volunteered. 43% of us will become a volunteer lateren life if we witness our parents doing -- later in life if we witness our parents doing so. But there's only a 23% chance if they never did.Being so well known as a volunteer, does it make it impossible for you to go to magic shows? When they ask for a volunteer, everyone will look at you.You're right, I get dobbed in every time.Thank you for volunteering your time toon.Thank you so much and thanks for everyone who voted for me for this fantastic award.Someone who is known for his community work is Tony Abbott. He's volunteered to drive a semitrailer from Brisbane to the NSW Central Coast over the next two days. He's a truckie now. Kicking off from the Brisbane Fresh Food Markets, it got off to a great start.Thanks, mate. Good on ya.

Good on ya. OK. We're off.

We are off.Yes. Our next PM is Mr Bean.That is a wrap of this segment. We'll be back with another one in a second. Ashton's job as Jobs. Japan's whaling fleet sets sail for the Southern Ocean, you can guarantee they won't be alone. We'll put our ships exactly where they need to be to protect whales. (VIBRANT MUSIC)

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This is The Project. A bit more news? Clearly this 19-year-old doesn't quite understand the social aspect of social media. Sabata has been arrested and charged after police saw her bragging on YouTube about stealing a car and robbing a bank. She described the alleged crime spree as the best day of her life. The Duchess of Cambridge remains in a London hospital where she's being treated for severe morning sickness. Kate and Will are immensely gritful for the good wishes they've receive -- grateful for the good wishes they've received.The bookies in the UK are taking bets on everything but at least they're keeping it tasteful. Will she actually have a natural birth or a C-section? There was this story going around everywhere in the UK anybody who was slightly posh was paying to have a C-section, walk in, wuk out, none of the pain. Will she do it? We think not. We think she's the people's princess and try and do what everyone else does. We're odds on at 8/11 she will have a natural birth, rather than a C-section.The worst thing is they're giving Tom Waterhouse new ideas for ads. He's going to be there in the birth. Eighteen I don't know what it's like to have a -- "I don't know what it's like to have a baby."You don't focus on that, as long as the baby is healthy. I hate the pressure of how the baby comes out.8 to 11, should I take it?Take it, Charlie. The South Korean Government abandoned plans announced in July to begin whaling under the guise of scientific research. As the whaling season gets under way, the jpnies Government remains as committed to the -- Japanese Government remains as committed to the slaughter as ever.Our goal is to find the whaling ship, to get on their slipway and not move.Sea shepherd's ninth -- 'Sea Shepherd''s ninth expedition gets under way.We're going to bring the battle right to the door step of Tokyo.Activists will use helicopters and drones to find them, to laser pointers and stink bombs to harass them in to suspending their hunt. The Japanese insist 'Sea Shepherd' actions put lives at risk.We will meet a violent adversery but we will not back down. We will put our ships where they need to be.Japanese ships hundred about 1,000 whales a year, officially for scientific research. Many of these kwhailz aren't killed outright. They're bleeding to death or drowned underwater.The meat is then sold as a by-product of the research.The whaling in Japan is not about science. The whale meat ends up in restaurants and fish markets.Australia started a legal case against Japan in 2010, arguing the country's whaling expeditions are commercial, not scientific, as defined in international law. It's a lengthy legal fight and one New Zealand has recently joined.We might be in a position to have a decision by the International Court which would mean a final decision in 3.5 years.For 'Sea Shepherd', Australia is still not doing enough. As the negotiations are going on, whales are dying right now. 'Sea Shepherd' simply wouldn't have to do what we do if the Australian Government intervened and arrested these poaching vessels.Japan spends up to $60 million a year on whaling and has reported dipped in to tsunami-relief funds to subsidise the program, a claim strongly rejected by the government. We're beginning to see a sea change in Japanese politics. People are beginning to question the use of taxpayers' money to fund whaling expeditions.89% of Japanese people haven't bought whale meat in the past year. Overall, support for whaling is around 38%.They're spending vast amounts of money in Japan on going to places far offshore to kill whales in cruel and in some cases unsustainable ways to produce a product even the people of Japan done want to eat now.But there is a limit to what Australia can do to stop whaling. The decision will be taken in Tokyo. Not in Canberra or the International Whaling Commission. The Japanese Government will have to stop whaling.Despite the risks involved, 'Sea Shepherd' says they'll keep fighting.I'm confident we have the Japanese whaling fleet on the ropes. We can aim for a total knockout.We'd love to know what you think. Jump on any of the sites on the page now. And we're done. For this segment. We'll be back in a tick with another one.

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Welcome back. Nicole, a bit of feedback coming in.On the topic of helping

Good on you.I guess you've all been wondering what the Queensland Minister for Housing and Public Works Tim Mander has been up to. He's been launch Agnew tourist attraction too degs a prison. -- launching a new tourist attraction today - a prison. He decided to try some comedy.We're reopening the jail. I only wish it was available to me when I was a referee for the NRL, it would have been the ultimate sin bin.Oh, tough crowd. Ouch.Poor guy. A piece of cast casting genius. We get the first look at Ashton Kutcher in character as Steve Jobs. Kutcher looks scareally similar to Jobs as a young man. Hyla is our man on the ground. Ashton looks the part but will he be able to pull off the role of Steve Jobs?He's not known for his Oscar-winning performances. He is a TV actor. He is really involved and emersed in the siliconeIvaly culture scene. He helped put Twitter on the map. He knows the lingo. I'm excited to see him perform.I'm going to ask you about Hugh Hefner's love life and Crystal left him five days before the wedding last time. They're engaged and going down the aisle again. Is it true love?I won't use the word love. The reality is they need each other, right. Once she left Hef, what did she do? We didn't hear anything. Hef, it's time for him because time might be ending for him. This is a muefrpal partnership that's working -- mutual partnership that's working out for them.Parts of the East Coast of the States was devastated by Sandy. But there's a company helping rebuild.There is a tanning store that's offering free spray tans to folks who go in. When you deliver supplies of food and blankets, you don't want to be pale-skinned, you want to be tanned. It's great to hear things are being put in to perspective. Thank you. USA!If you just joined us, here is what's making news today. The Commonwealth Bank has joined Westpac and NAB in refusing to pass on the full rate cut to customers. They've only passed on 20 basis points a day after the Reserve's quarter of a percent cut. It comes as the latest economic figures reveal a sluggish annual growth rate. A bushfire in Sydney's north is burning close to homes tonight. Fire crews are battling the blaze at the Lane Cove National Park. Authorities are hopeful they can save the town of Bremer Bay from a massive blaze in Western Australia. The life and work of author Bryce Courtenay has been celebrated at a memorial service in Sydney. The 79- year-old died nearly two weeks ago from stomach cancer.He's one of the few men I felt moved to hug whenever I met him. You cune help yourself when he came towards you with his arms out wide. His blue eyes smiling and twinkling.A raid on a brothsal in central Sydney involving sniffer dogs and the riot squad was part of an investigationinate a drug and money-laundering syndicate. The Camperdown premises is owned by controversial racing identity Eddie Hayson who has spoken to detectives. Perhaps a little bit too much sun for a team of Queensland researchers who have developed a coconut-flavoured pineapple. While they didn't set out to change the flavour, it's believed to be a world first. It will bea couple more years before the new pineapple hits the shops.They'll be devastated when they realise there is already a product on the market called a coconut.If they watered them with rum, they can grow pinnacle adas.You'll have the -- - - yul have a drink.You'll have the Big Pineapple and the Coconut- Flavoured Pineapple.The biggest concern is the economy for the youth. I remember when it was how to get tickets to a One Direction concert.Young Australians were asked to rank their biggest fears. Zombies, pirates or ninjas didn't get a mention. As I just stated, the biggest concern for Australia's youth this year was the economy and financial matters.There are young people in families that are doing it tough. And they see the effect of more stress and electricity bills in their homes.The environment had topped the list but has now slipped down to position number six. Does that mean the environment is no longer a concern for young people?I think it's a concern for anyone of any age. We're all a part of the environment. So it's always going to be a relevant issue.Other big issues for Australia's youth include population concerns, alcohol and drugs, politics and societyal values and equity in discrimination. These sound more like the concerns of my parents when they do the concerns of hip young Australians. So should young Aussies really be concerned about landing a job in this economy? Would they be more scared of ninjas if the ninjas ever actually did anything? Actually, that was pretty good. The UN Youth Representative for Australia which I think is a fancy way of saying that he's totally down with the kids. MySpace Dan. So, tell us why are the kids scared of the economy? Well, that's certainly the findings of the latest report that came out from Mission Australia. It's pretty hard not to be. All of society is. All of the messages we see on mainstream media and social media are talking about the economy. It's front page of the paper and obviously it's filtering through. When I was 16, the only thing I was concerned about was I'd never get it too kiss a human girl on the mouth, instead of just practicing on my elbow in my bedroom. Are kids more switched on now?Everyone is practicing, they're using the han, probably not the elbow. Young people have a lot of the same concerns they've always had. We're more informed than we've ever been before. Most of us are on social media and we have a pretty good idea abwhat's going on in the world. With that comes with sem adult responsibilities and awareness of what the issues are we're facing. Talking about what they know what's going on in the world. Environment was always a big issue for them but no longer number one?In this study it found in a population and economy issues were higher than environment in terms of priority but I've come back from ainacy listening tour, 6,000 young people, every State and Territory, and I've been inspired by the work of many young people who are passionately getting involved and being part of the solution. Some of the results we've seen from the campaigns are seeing results that are better than we've ever seen before.Do you think with the hardships out there with families, potentially if kids are asking Mum and Dad for things and the excuse or the reason is they can't afford it, do you think that's the reason the economy is hitting home?Probably pliing a really key role. 600,000 young people live in poverty. Yet, we're the richest we've ever been as a nation. It's probably not as simple as it perhaps was once in the past. Dan, thank you very much for your time.Thanks.And we are out of here.Not yet.For this segment. We'll be back in a tick.

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Yep, this is The Project. A disability pensioner accused of training overseas to be a mercenary in West Papua naz been refused bail. Gerard Michael Little is considered a flight risk and he will face court again next month. According to social networking site LinkedIn the word 'creative' is the most overused by Australians on their resumes.Hang on, I can't use creative? That will be embezzled then.You're meant to lie in job interviews. When they ask what your weaknesses are, you're meant to say you work too hard. They asked me and I said, "I steal stuff." I didn't get it.Your strength was honesty.John Hastings was lucky enough to play his first test during Ricky Ponting's last. But he might need to learn what happens in the rooms stays in the rooms.We had a great night. It was a good send-off for Ricky. All the boys were there. We had a really good time in the changerooms. A bit of a private moment together. Something that I'll never forget.Wow. Come on, Aussie, come on.Apparently on his CV it is going to be 'creative'. Stop talking. Time to see what's making news around the globe. One of the strongest typhoons to hit the Philippines this year has struck the country's south, killing at least 100 people and forcing thousands to flee. Tipoon Bopha has caused major flooding and landslides, sparking health concerns and calls for international aid. At a meeting in Brussels, NATO has agreed to bolster defences near Turkey's southern border with Syria, deploying anti-missile systems to protect against cross-border attacks. It's the alliance's first major military environment in the 20-month-long conflict but falls well short of the rebels' demand. Word is 'American Vogue''s editor in chief is going to become the new ambassador for America in the UK. And the Duchess of Cambridge rests up in hospital and some cheeky Italians are already cashing in on royal baby fever. They took time out from making nativity scenes to making some knocked-up Duchess of Kate.Will she bow wearing the wedding dress now she is pregnant? I think it was Berlusconi that got her pregnant.We're going to take a break.The season to plug it in and show off to your neighbours. John C Reilly and Sarah Silverman drop by.

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It's time for Sarah Silverman and John C Reilly. When you team up an Oscar-nominated heavyweight, known as some of Hollywood's most outrageous characters, and one of America's favourite comedians, the last thing you'd expect is a Disney film.You're not from here, are you?Meet 'Wreck It Ralph'.You're the bad guy who wrecks the building. Realising no-one loves a bad guy, Ralph wants to be the hero of Disney's mind-blowing 50-second animated film. Ditching his post, our hero, voiced boy John crbs Reilly.You want me to help you -- C Reilly. You want me to help you. And then the amazingly funny Sarah Silverman. To do what all heroes must do, save the day. Please welcome John C Reilly and Sarah Silverman. h (CHEERINn. Silverman.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

Wow.Welcome, guys. Thank you for joining us. This is really exciting because it's the first animated movie for you both.Well, no. But, yes. First one together.The first good animated movie. I don't know what it was?Never mine. They're not paying me to fly to Australia right now. But then neither is Disney.What was it about the project that made you both want to jump onboard?For me, it was the them wanting me part of it.Have you always looked an animated movies, particularly when you have such huge stars doing the voices, has it been on your wish list?I was offer adfew of them over the years and I thought it didn't sound like that fun standingane phone booth with a microphone pretending other people are there. But the directing of our movie was like, "We can do it however you want it. If you want Sarah Silverman in the room, we'll get her in there." We did a lot of improvising and smart alec comments to each other.Is it odd someone offered to just fetch you as part of a deal? "I'll get Sarah Silverman."I was in a studio. I was going with the riff.I loved it. I might have shed a tear at the end. I loved it because I played heaps of video games as a kid, didn't have friends, but you guys play lots of video games when you were young? Did you relate to that part of the movie.I did.No.You want to go first?Yeah. Sure. No. You go. You go. You go. You have answered this question many times. Woe have our stock answers but we're trying to give you something fresh.If you could sleep with any video game character, who would it be?I would

be?I would say Cupid. But the shape. -- Hubert. But the shape. That long thing has a hole.Didn't want to have to spell it out. Leave it to Sarah.I'm baeing told I'm not allowed to ask any more questions.I'm being told something else. I couldn't think of a riff. That would be funny to pretend I have something here.In terms of the character, similarities to you and also maybe Ralph? Show me your hands - big hands?I have massive ham-like hand. The creators, have they taken some from you?Yeah, I have big hands. Sarah has pretty big hands too.I do.She has meat paws on her.I'm not quite 600 fright pound yet. But I'm working on -- 648 pounds yet, but I'm working on it.He's a serious actor. They did. They had little cameras in the recesss ofrtd rooms as we recorded. And they let themselves be influenced by our mannerisms and the way we said things and everything. Right? Is that the answer to the question?That's good. It's your first time in Australia and it's compulsory in this country if a foreigner comes here, we have to ask them what they think of Australia. What do you think of our country?I would give it a five. Out of what?Out of five! I got you so good.We love watching, I think our fascination with you guys apart from your own talents is the relationships you seem to have developed in Hollywood. Whether we see you with Will Ferrell and Matt Damon, is it very much like the schoolyard, it takes you a while to work out who the bullies are and the gems and then you're able to be creative with them?My relationship with Matt is only a sexual one. We had a lot of fun. I still have that.

Can we not all just stop and watch it? It's on YouTube. Let's watch it later.What are we doing here?Will and I are very good friends. Yes. We've developed a great friendship. My experience is, you hear about these nightmarish egos with actors. But my experience is 99% gems. If urtalented and you get that far, chances are you're a pretty good person. There are a couple of turds but why would we give them the attention right now when we've got America's sweetheart right next to me? Soon to be Australia's sweetheart.You and Will get your perms at the same salon.That's what I get for being nice to you. Speaking of your hair, I did hear a story -Oh, gau.I heard a story they had money in the -- God. I heard a story they had money in the budget for a hairdresser for you and you used that money to bring out your band to Australia, is that right?Well, let's be clear, they had money in the budget for a companion tick. I could bring a publicist, a hairdresser, or a personal guru. And I chose to bring my band with me.They're amazing. We played in Sydney and then Manly. We have to take a break. Are you guys happy to stick around because you did agree to through your publicist? Are you OK to do that? We're OK to stay in for the second segment.We're going to take a break and be back with more. Megan Gale joins us live. Sam Mac joins Middle Earth. And the pinball machine is back.My mum plays pinball as well.

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Welcome back. As you can see, we still have John C Reilly and Sarah Silverman with us at the desk. Santa has come early to a Sydney neighbourhood famous for its Christmas lights. The decorated houses in Davidson has each been given a free solar power system. They can now power up their Christmas lights as usual, while reducing electricity costs. Sam Mac happens to be there. How are the residents feeling abnot having to pay for their power this year?I could tellia how they're feeling or I could show you how they're feeling.Merry Christmas, everyone. Number 24. How much does it mean to you?A hell of a lot. Energy Matters have come on board and allowed us to reduce our power bills and support Bear Cottage. It's a win-win for everyone. The residents are right behind it. It keeps everybody in-sync.A quick question for you. Can you hear me out there alright, it's John C Reilly here in the studio. Are they taking precautions against electrocution with the Christmas lights? I had a mishap before I came to Australia, as you can see, I want to make sure everyone is safe and no water around the lights, right?I did see a snow machine with a lot of chemicals very close to some cords. I think that's OK, though. I'm not 100% sure but I think it's going to be OK. We're about to turn on the lights for tonight. It's very exciting. Before we do, thank you for crossing to me in broad daylight to talk about a light show, well organised. 3, 2, 1. Merry

Sorry, guys. Have you got vision from last night? You filmed here last nights. Put some of that on. They'll probably stick us in to a later time slot next year and we'll be able to cross to you in the dark. Enjoy.I'll just be in the chemical area. Merry Christmas.I love it. 'Wreck It Ralph' is out in cinemas Boxing Day. This is going to sound like I don't know anything, is Boxing Day talked about at all in the US? Is it a thing?It's on some of the printed calendars.Boxing Day was the day report cards came outen my house. And my dad would lay in to us for it.Thank you for CAPTIONED BY MEDIA ACCESS GROUP
AT WGBH ACCESS.WGBH.ORG You're all professional chefs,
you're all very good chefs,

but we wanna make you great chefs.

To do this we've recruited
someone special.

He is the original bad boy
of the kitchen.

Many famous chefs have
passed through his doors -

Curtis Stone, Heston Blumenthal,
Gordon Ramsay.

Him he reduced to tears.

He is the godfather of
modern cooking,

Marco Pierre White.

I'm looking forward to
spending a bit of time with you.

You gotta push, you gotta push,
you gotta push, you gotta push.

I'm looking forward to
spending a bit of time with you.

Quickly, quickly, quickly,
quickly, quickly. Come on!

How long for my eight pig?
How long for my eight pig?

How long... Come on!
MAN: Yes, Marco!

You told me you were professionals!
Are you misleading me?

On order. On order. On order.

"Yes, Marco. Yes, Marco.
Yes, Marco."

I like my name.
MAN: Yes, Marco!

Two quails, please.
Two quails. Two quails.

CHEFS: Yes, Marco.

Come on, come on,
it's only a dropped plate.

Kick it under the table.

Come on, let's not forget it -
the service, we're a team.

I'm looking forward to
spending a bit of time with you.

I want my quail! I want my quail!
I want my quail!

MAN: Yes, Marco!

The people on table two
are asking where their quail is.

MAN: Quail in one minute!

Put your heart and your soul
into it and push.

Service!

10 seconds! 10 seconds! 10 seconds!
10 seconds! 10 seconds!

Matt, in five seconds.
All on the pads! All on the pads!

All on the pads!

Service over.

(CLOCK TICKS)

I'm looking forward to
spending a bit of time with you.

I'm looking forward to

WOMAN: Oui! OUI!

Merci!

(PUFFS) Oh, I'm late for my gig.

Oh, merci, merci.
Wait, wait, wait.

Right. What's the going rate
for a pirate these days?

Oh, babe, the mermaid people need
to know how you feel about pirates.

Somalian or Caribbean?

No, the entertainment
for Jenny's birthday.

I'm thinking one mermaid,
one pirate ought to do it.

You read my mind.
Oh, OK.

I love you.
Love you too.

Gotta go to my show.
Have fun, Daddy.

Whoo-hoo!

Heh!

Who is ready to rock?

Hurry up, Barry. Let's go, let's go.

TOMMY: Two, three, four!

(SINGS) # All the girls
stomp your feet like this

# A few times
I've been around that track

# So it's not just gonna happen
like that

# 'Cause I ain't no hollaback girl

# I ain't no hollaback girl

# Ooh-ooh
# This my shh

# This my shh

# So I'm ready to attack,
gonna lead the pack

# Gonna get a touchdown,
gonna take you out

# That's right,
put your pompoms down

# Getting everybody fired up

# A few times
I've been around that track

# So it's not just gonna
happen like that

# 'Cause I ain't no hollaback girl

# I ain't no hollaback girl... #

You feeling the love, new guy?

Definitely. Kind of.

Just breathe it in, 'cause nothing
beats Seattle's wedding scene.

I think this is gonna be
our best month yet.

I've already got us booked for
four weddings and a bar mitzvah.

We gotta brush up on that
'Hava Nagila' and get it real tight.

My guy's hooking us up with 2,000
condoms - I'm gonna use 'em all.

'Hava Nagila' and 2,000 condoms?

Are you guys a wedding band
or a kosher rave?

Listen to this, dude -
pace yourself during the week

because people expect us
to bring our A-game to these.

I already told my secretary,
no meetings Friday afternoon,

none before lunch on Monday.

Stevie, I know this is your first
wedding but they're addictive.

Really?
They are.

Now's probably a good time to catch
him up on a few trade secrets.

This is the golden rule.

It's our job as the wedding band

to make sure that this
is the big day for everyone.

Come on. Seriously, look.

Even two tons of fun over there?

Hey! Especially her. Come on.

She's a VIP.
Wanna show a little sensitivity?

I thought you'd like that joke.

Don't talk about
a woman's weight like that.

My money says
she's a cousin of the bride,

probably flew in
just for the bouquet toss.

It's our job to make sure
she catches that bouquet.

(WOMAN SQUEALS)
BOTH: Hey!

Golden rule.
Yep. Yeah, I got it.

Next, there's always one guy
at the wedding

who's just not gonna hook up -

82% of the time his name is Derek.

Come Monday, Derek needs a story
to tell the office.

Ah, and we give him one, right?
Exactly.

It's also a way around the 'no booze
for the band' policy.

The key is to wait for his Windsor
knot to drop to the second button,

then we make him
honorary band member -

he'll slip us drinks all night.

Whoo!

Oh, hey. Here, grab that.

There's songs on that list
we have to play at every wedding.

BOTH: 'I Will Survive'.

That's one of them.
Hell, no.

I won't survive if I have to play
Gloria Gaynor every weekend -

that shit will lower
your sperm count, son.

You know what,
I thought the same thing

the first 50 times we played it,
but, honestly,

I found the true healing power
of that song.

(SINGS) # At first I was afraid,
I was petrified

# Kept thinking I could never live
without you by my side... #

That song is an anthem for everyone
who has ever had her heart broken.

Inside tip - look for the one
who's singing the loudest.

WOMAN: (SINGS)
# And I learned how to carry on

# Oh, no, not I

# I will survive

# As long as I know how to love
I know I'll stay alive

# I've got all my life to live,
I've got all my love to give

# And I'll survive

# I will survive

# Hey, hey. #

I have the toughest job
because I bring arena rock spectacle

to black-tie events.

U2 doesn't do that, uh-uh.

They bring arena rock to arenas.
That's for pussies.

(BAND PLAYS ROCK VERSION
OF 'HAVA NAGILA')

(WHOOSHING, ZAPPING)

Today, you're a man.

(SINGS) # I do what I want
'cause I can