Note: Where available, the PDF/Word icon below is provided to view the complete and fully formatted document
Disclaimer: The Parliamentary Library does not warrant or accept liability for the accuracy or usefulness of the transcripts. These are copied directly from the broadcaster's website.
Flacco - George Pell -

View in ParlViewView other Segments

Flacco: Now, it has come to my attention that Archbishop George Pell has threatened to
excommunicate Catholic MPs if they support therapeutic cloning, and this has made me wonder how the
church stands on the subject of cloned foods, for it is no secret that no matter what your faith
(or lack of it), you've been eating cloned fruit all your life. Bananas, oranges, even Eve's apple
was a clone, not to mention giant strawberries. You see, these foods have been modified over
6,000-odd years of agriculture.

So would this mean that Catholic vegetarians could be excommunicated for eating therapeutically
cloned fruit? Basically I think that George Pell is a therapeutically cloned fruit. And perhaps
there is more behind this anti-cloning crusade, for it is only hunters and gatherers who eat
anything close to food in its original form, and without foods being genetically modified, well,
the planet could only support a few odd million human inhabitants.

So perhaps it is George's plan to rid the planet of all non-Catholics and a few excommunicated
upstarts, therefore leaving the Earth cleared for Pell and his cronies as opposed to us clonies. So
to counter this and prevent further bad puns like that I suggest the unreligious must stand up for
the clones, we must build an ark to house all our cloned flora and fauna and then lead them one by
one onto this ark to be flung to a new planet to self-replicate in peace.

And it occurs to me that perhaps God himself is the original therapeutic clone; he lives alone, no
need for a relationship, made us all in his image. We are all clones of God! How about that,
George! If you yourself are a therapeutic clone of God, then perhaps you will have to excommunicate
yourself. Not such a bad thing really, for if the Catholic Church would stop all this
excommunicating it could then feel free to indulge in its opposite. And the opposite of
'excommunicate' is to communicate. Amen.

Robyn Williams: And it starts this week of course. Monsignor Flacco being typically inconvenient
and annoying.