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Compass -

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(generated from captions) This unit, the British Free Corps? They're disgusting. Nothing. of us one day. He didn't manage 30. Hitler said there'd be a thousand Take your equipment with you. Why don't you move on, hm? That's council property! I'll have the law onto you. find out why you keep coming back. Why do you agree to see me? To all that I've ever stood for. He's destroying me, my name, crashing down. He's going to bring it all

it's almost certain he'll hang. I may as well tell you now, Clemence Duprat Closed Captions by CSI -

THEME MUSIC 'Ahead on Compass -' FAST-PACED DRUMMING without any great degree of trouble. I fell into the racist system It wasn't your struggle, about not taking part in something and should you feel guilty that had nothing to do with you?

what I should have done I don't feel guilty, but I didn't do whilst I was here.

We're not all heroes. in this trip Perhaps what you need to discover "That I am not a hero." is the courage to say, Hello.

that examines a big question Thanks for joining me for a film not often asked - of being a bystander? what's the price to live with the consequences? And how hard is it In the countdown to the World Cup, of an Australian man, this film follows the journey ethicist and father, a high profile psychiatrist,

who returns to South Africa he's felt for years to confront the guilt for colluding with Apartheid. He travels with his teenage son, who as only a son can, in his dad's quest for forgiveness. provides a wonderful foil Can you lay it to rest? Can you forgive yourself right now? forgive me. I can't forgive myself. Not easily. Somebody has to go and ask the people who suffered In a way, I've gotta to forgive me. whether they're prepared MAN: # When God made Africa # He had a plan # To make it beautiful # A priceless land... # where I trained. That's Groote Schuur, On the right is the white wards. traipse all over the show We white students could or listen to a heart, and go and feel a liver wherever we pleased. who were not white The 12% of the students go beyond that line in the middle. couldn't during the apartheid years.' 'My dad grew up in South Africa No, no, no. Is that you? 40-year medical-school reunion. 'Now he's going back for his so he's taking me along. I've just finished high school He wants to show me around, some unfinished business. but he also wants to deal with # When God made Africa # How could he know # That what he had made # Could hurt him so? # most of the time So we'll be there, obviously, but after we finish... with my dad. I've always had a good relationship You might say I'm his favourite. He has terrible taste in clothes,

trying to correct. which we're constantly to buy new glasses a while ago We managed to get him which were like that. because he had some the rest of the ensemble. Her just needs to work on out of the way. Maybe we just take this Alright. (LAUGHS) No, that's mine. Give it back. Alright, just put it in like that. You insist on having it. well, being involved in medicine He's very passionate about, bringing the arts back to medicine, but bringing humanity, which I think is fantastic. ALL: # Glory to the newborn king. # MAN: That's surround sound. and hope you get well soon. Merry Christmas to you OK.

go to some sort of... And so he thought he might 'Dad's a professor of psychiatry. on mental health He's written quite a few books and has lectured all over the world.' the centrifugal route. ..which is called

She flees the situation. at the University of Cape Town. 'He started off studying medicine in his class. There were about 100 students as non-white 12 of them were classified under the government's racial laws.' after I graduated as a doctor. I left exactly 24 hours most of my life, I'd been waiting for that day that apartheid was a dreadful thing certainly as long as I could sense I couldn't do anything about. and something that there's shame. There's anger, there's guilt, something to feel guilty about. There's definitely What's your responsibility? It's just how much...

and I never supported their actions. I never voted for the government But just standing by fairly idly must amount to collusion. is complicity. And collusion, to me I guess, involved in a Jewish youth movement 'When he was my age, Dad was and dreamed of going to Israel. that's where he met my mum, Felicity. He worked there for a while and

ended up living here in Melbourne.' But she was from Australia so they (ALL SING IN HEBREW) about the last bit of the tune. We always have an argument (LAUGHS) (ALL SING IN HEBREW) 'Cause we always say... We always sang it one way...

I feel racism more acutely. I don't think, because I'm Jewish, or there's intolerance, I think if there's racism I feel it because of my humanity. Jewish, I feel this more acutely," In a sense, saying, "Because I'm doesn't it? just exacerbates the problem, in a racist society Growing up Jewish was an interesting conundrum. social justice We believed and espoused in terms of our Jewish background. to have that. And it was very comforting But it was a curious admixture to be comfortable within, because it was OK

of what's without. but, hang on, that's being oblivious It was at Cape Town. Here's the reunion. will be in Jameson Hall. Looks like the regraduation ceremony we're almost on our way. 'After planning the trip for months, But Dad's got a lot on his mind so it's not exactly gonna be a holiday.' somebody has to give me therapy, The question arises as to whether such as maybe my old classmates. to forgive me. Maybe I need to ask them Maybe I need to apologise. with these former students And I have raised the possibility reconciliation ritual or ceremony whether we should have some sort of

in which those of us who were pretty oblivious of their plight should seek their forgiveness.

It's completing a process of working through the unresolved feelings that I've had for 40 years. I think spending three weeks together, I might quietly go insane. # What a lovely South Africa... # Is that Table Mountain? Yes. # Oh, yeah, what a lovely Cape Town, yeah # Oh, yeah, baby # Oh, yeah # What a wonderful world... # So this is where you grew up?

I didn't live very far from here. To get to these woods was 10 minutes maybe. I wouldn't have minded living here. Well, I don't blame you. Got the woods two metres behind you. You have a beautiful beach in front of you. No, it was great. It was really... Did you bring any girls here? No! I was too shy.

Oh, Dad. Really shy. Shy young man, I was. My grandparents lived just here and it definitely didn't have all this electrical wire.

This is the shul that I was a member of. And is now, as you can see, rather different. I cannot believe that this shul is now this commercial space, this gallery. And the Ten Commandments would have been up there. Little transformation. Unbelievable. Sort of sad, really. 1953, the choir was up there. (SINGS IN HEBREW) On the other side of these two buildings, there was a cinema, and that was whites-only. And next to the cinema was a post office. And I can recall going up the whites-only entrance. I tell you, wherever you went and whatever you did, you had to bear in mind which race you belonged to.

So, of course, this place was for whites alone. And I came here day in, day out through the summer.

And I must be honest and be truthful, shamefully,

that I did not really think for a moment of not coming here as a form of protest. 'Dad grew up under apartheid, an Afrikaans word meaning "apartness" or "separation". Everyone was classified according to their race and the laws were designed to segregate the races as much as possible. Non-whites could only live in areas set aside for them and they had to carry a pass to be allowed into white areas.

They couldn't vote.

They couldn't marry whites or have sexual relations with them. They could only have certain unskilled jobs and they were given inferior education.' You've just come out of the pool. I can remember growing up here... OK. And you would not have been allowed in there unless you were a cleaning attendant. Something like that, yes. You are here with your family. It's fantastic to see it. It's normal. Yeah, definitely. Bloody abnormal then. I would have been angry. Very angry. Like, uh... OK, I never, ever liked whites. That was my anger. But now I'm trying just to push it away. Do you think the whites are still racist in some ways? Some of them. But we've all got racism in us. You believe that? Yeah. Even the coloured community, even the blacks or even the whites, everybody's still got a little racism in them.

'And racism is what we're focusing on today at the Cape Town Holocaust Centre.' This is interesting.

'The display starts with the history of apartheid. The National Party and its apartheid laws were strongly supported by the Afrikaans-speaking white minority. Prime Minister Hendrik Verwoerd led the National Party when Dad was young.' And he's the guy who really separates the races and to me, he was the archetypal Afrikaner Nazi, whom I loathed with a passionate intensity. 'Dad tells me that many of the early Afrikaner leaders, including Verwoerd, were supporters of the Nazis.' This is very important in our family history. Kovno was the capital of Lithuania and part of our family lived here. 'Luckily, my grandparents emigrated from Lithuania to South Africa before World War II. Because when the Nazis occupied Lithuania, Jews were persecuted and forced into ghettos. By the end of the war, 94% of them had been murdered.' It's amazing you can see, you know, the similarity between this and before. You've got the Jews loading up their carts to be put into the ghettos and back then, apartheid, we can see the blacks being forced into the specific areas

with their cars and their wagons. It was based on similar ideology and made it all the more odious. And I suppose, all the more conscious that as a Jew, what were we doing about apartheid? But the Jews were, I reckon, afeared of doing anything as a community. My parents would say, "Look, as Jews we don't... Shh. Shh!" You don't attract attention, And I guess there was an insecurity.

After all, they'd just lost many members of their families. Virtually all South African Jewry was Lithuanian and they'd lost dozens of relatives. In our case, we'd lost 14. So they weren't about to become heroes. I can't forgive Hitler for killing 14 members of my family. Why should I forgive Verwoerd? Ever since I can remember, as a kid even, Afrikanerdom, to me, was like Nazism. And many of the Afrikaners sympathised with the Nazis. So anyway, they, to me, are the enemy, they always were. And it hasn't changed to this day

because I've never spoken with them in any sort of way other than, "Can you mind the way? I've gotta go through the door," just functional language like that. You lived your whole life up to 24 and yet you never mixed?

Well, there were some Afrikaners in my class but I had almost nothing to do with them. 'So for all Dad's talk about hating racism, he's a bit prejudiced himself.' Isn't this a beautiful town hall? I used to come down here to hear the Cape Town Musical Orchestra. The thing that really gets me now is not the music, it's the rope that went from that end to this end. Around about behind us, about two rows behind, and the non-whites, behind the rope, thank you very much. The rest, whites only. One more element of just going along with the system to suit my convenience and because...didn't think twice. And this is what really bugs me a lot. Ladies. 'Uh-oh, Dad's off talking to strangers again.' You know that in this place, they had a rope down the back here?

In those days, you could only sit behind the rope. I could sit anywhere I wanted. We understand the rope. (LAUGHS) The rope. The rope era. The apartheid era.

What are your feelings about that? Yes, I was angry, angry all the time, especially at white people. Yes. Me? Yes. I said, "Hey, white people, man, they are cruel, all of them." Do you still have anger in you or do you think it's now in the background? Not anymore. Not anymore. It's past history? Do you believe in forgiveness? Yes. Because I'm a Christian now. But if I was not a Christian, I don't think that it will be easy for me. Yeah, personally, I find it really hard... Because now, the church, they teach us a lot about forgiveness. If you cannot forgive, then I am also a sinner. I do a lot of things. How can God forgive me? Yeah. So I have to forgive. No matter how hard it is, I have to forgive. But you cannot forgive for one day, it takes time. But in the end, it gets finished. What did you think of the people like him who didn't... They weren't for the system but they didn't really do anything against it? No, it's not right. Mmm. You have to stand for what you believe. You have to fight for it. Yeah. 'When Dad was 15, he did try to stand up for what he believed in. It was on the day they enforced segregation on Cape Town buses.' I hop on the bus, it's midafternoon, and there's a sign saying, "In front of this X, whites only." And I sat in the wrong side of the bus, which was designated for blacks only. The conductor approaches me and says, "You know about the new regulations? As you can see very clearly,

you are sitting on the wrong side of the bus. Could you please move up here to the right side of the bus?" And I said, "No, I think I'm very comfortable here, thank you very much." He says, "Don't make my job difficult. I didn't invent these laws. I didn't create these laws. You move, otherwise there's going to be trouble." And I know full well that in this very vicinity, is the main police station of Cape Town. The trolley car stops...like here.

And he says, "OK, we have only two choices. Either you move or we pay a visit to the station."

And I guess why it's remained a crucial day for me to this day is that, for reasons which I am not clear about, I moved. Do you ever wonder, "What if you'd made the other decision?" I've always felt that. And what do you feel... would have happened? Well, what if? If I'd gone in and, shall we say, branded myself as an opponent, a resister, it may have been the beginning of further resistance. The following day, I got onto an apartheid bus and the day after that until I left the country, what, eight years later or whatever. So I fell into the racist system without any great degree of trouble. Well, was it your struggle? And should you feel guilty about not taking part in something that had nothing to do with you? I don't feel guilty but I didn't do what I should have whilst I was here. What could you have done while you were here? Well, I could have done what Albie Sachs did. He went the full road. Do you really think you could have made a difference? Well, he did. He helped to topple apartheid, didn't he? Welcome. Great to meet you and see you and know you, et cetera, et cetera. And Aaron, my son. Hi. The future. Nice to meet you. 'Albie Sachs is a bit of a hero to my dad. His family was also Jewish and he also grew up in Cape Town. But as a teenager, Albie did join the struggle against apartheid.

EXPLOSION AND SCREAMING 'When his car was bombed by South African security forces, he lost an arm and the sight of one eye.' I think the critical thing was there wasn't a heroic moment. You stand up in the trenches and say, "Victory or death," and you charge. It wasn't like that at all. It was a series of little encounters. I had taken part in the Defiance of Unjust Laws campaign, when maybe 10,000 black people walked onto bridges marked "whites only", sat down on benches marked "whites only". Just four of us in Cape Town marked "non-whites only".

And we were arrested. And I shouted - (SPEAKS AFRIKAANS) "Africa, come back." I mean, I'm frightened now when I think of a 17-year-old kid in front of the cops, giving the freedom signal and shouting out in that way. But when I got to court, the magistrate saw I was 17, a juvenile, and he said, "Is your mother in court?" And my mother stood up and said, "Yes." "I'm sending you home to your mother."

And not many revolutionaries

have been sent home to the care of their mothers. Your mother can talk sense into you. It's just so much a parallel. When I was 15, they introduced bus apartheid in Cape Town. And on the first day, I sat on the wrong side of the bus.

And the conductor stopped the bus outside Collaton St Police Station. And I moved and I must say, I regret this to this day. (LAUGHS) Well, I think a little gesture like that wouldn't have changed very much. You've got to work with others, it's got to be concerted.

It's not enough just to make... I was on my own. But that's important for you. For each individual, these gestures do count. 'Albie told us how things changed in March 1960.' GUNFIRE 'At Sharpeville, near Johannesburg, police fired on an unarmed crowd of protesters and killed 69 people.

After Sharpeville, the government banned most political organisations. Opposing the apartheid laws was dangerous because people in prison were often tortured and killed. Like many others, Albie Sachs was jailed without trial under the 90-day detention laws.'

The very worst moments for me were when I was in solitary confinement, not knowing how long it's going to last, no-one to speak to, nothing to do, no activity, just rotting during the day, singing to have a sense of myself. # I'll be living here always # Year after year, always # In this little cell that I know so well # I'll be living swell always, always # Not for but an hour # Not for but a week # Not for 90 days # But always. # How did you keep going? How did you find hope to continue the struggle? It wasn't hope, it was an absolute certainty and clarity, apartheid was wrong, racism was wrong,

the way they were defending the country was wrong.

That was never, never in doubt. and the world was on our side. And we were the majority there would be victory. And eventually, Do you feel the Jewish community should have taken more of a prominent role in the struggle? No. I wouldn't say Jews have a greater responsibility than anybody else

Everybody has a responsibility to be anti-racist. It's just... It saddens one perhaps a bit more when people who belong to communities, historically, that suffered so much, manifest the same intolerance to which their grandparents were subjected. But that's more a sadness than an anger. What would you have done? You've been in this country now a while. I would have left and I wouldn't have looked back. Right. Why? As much as there are people suffering around you and as much as it hurts you to see that, I just don't feel that there's really anything...

I feel that my life is more important to be lived for me. I don't know how selfish that view is but... That's extraordinarily selfish. I don't wanna give my life away. You mean doing... doing an Albie Sachs? Yeah. Oh, I see, OK. Essentially, it always comes down to this - there's a responsibility to yourself, there's a responsibility to your state and it's in conflict sometimes and you've gotta choose what's more important. There's a responsibility to be a member of the human community, trite as that may sound. Forget about the state. I don't want you to lecture me about being a member of the human community, though, when you didn't. You left. You did the exact same thing I'm saying I did. The only difference is I'm having the courage to come out and say I would have done that, not said, "Oh, I should have done this and I should have been Albie Sachs and I should have done this." We're not all heroes. Perhaps what you need to discover on this trip is the courage to say, "I'm not a hero and I couldn't have been."

No, I never... Perhaps there's nothing wrong with that. I never claimed to be a hero, never thought of myself... They why are you here? The whole thing you're basing this on is the wrong side of the bus. That was the point of your protest, your conflict, and that's where you, you know, you failed. in that on a day-to-day level - I failed in certain respects I feel - this is the most crucial thing I let people down. on a day-to-day level, a multiracial class Because we had, supposedly, and I let them down. for six years, it's a long time, And that's why you're here?

still a few days away, 'With the reunion about his reconciliation idea. Dad decides to so something So he's off to get advice Transformation Office. from the University of Cape Town's past injustices on the campus.' Part of their job is to deal with

We had a class of 100, coloured, and one Chinese student. of whom 12 were Malay, Indian, And I have to say what they were going through. that we did not appreciate In the forthcoming reunion, have a reconciliation ceremony. I'm proposing that we should what form it might take? Any thoughts about Well, I'm just thinking aloud. is one way of engaging people I think initiating a conversation as informal as possible and making it because, by definition, it's a hard topic to talk about. You may be taking people back to where they would rather not go. But do you think it should be an apology or an acknowledgement? I mean, what? Acknowledgement rather. That's what... that's what I think. Acknowledgement, You don't like the word "apologise"? so I don't think it's OK Apartheid was a system, individual responsibility, for people to actually take as if it was of their own creation. say, "I'm sorry," oppose or oblige, white people. But people had choices to actually group, as a class, could have said, Yeah, it was a system but we as a unless everybody is allowed." "We're not going to postmortems Yeah. Everybody's allowed to go. unless all members of the class..." Or, "We're not working in this ward So we didn't do that. I'm interested in doing something 40 years on... at this rather symbolic point, how we all feel about those days It's more important to make it about and being very open with each other. I'm not saying this is to be done. No, I'm just saying this is an idea. this is where the thinking is going. I'm just saying I suppose, that you've got The only worry, represents apathy. is that a small group presents a group of people For me, a small group

who have a need to come together and want to do something. You wanna let sleeping dogs lie? I'm not sure what you're saying, Irwin. I can't do it on my own, can I? demand the following..." I can't just say, "I, Sidney Bloch, two old classmates agree to meet Dad 'Finally, in person.' to discuss his reconciliation idea Thanks very much indeed. Cheers. Yep, be in touch.

Phew! That was quite tiring. 'But meanwhile, to meet in one of the townships. there's someone special he wants me what are you doing with a stick? Beauty, You're not allowed to have a stick. Oh, I'm old! (LAUGHS) How are you? I'm very, very old. I'm old, I'm old. in the world for my mother. The most important woman Oh. Hi. Nice to meet you. Aaron, this is Beauty Ngoza. for 16 months? Beauty looked after my mum

About that. Yes. When she was not so well. One of them is me. Yeah, that's me. This one? I miss your grandmother. because she was very close to me. I always dream of her Yes. Very, very close to me. She loved you very much. I love her too. I loved her too. Because she was part of my family. Yep. Yes, she was very, very lovely and nice to me and did everything for me. I mean, love, gave me proper love. Yes. Yep. for the apartheid business We always cry that fell on us in South Africa. You cry? It was like rain, the way it was pouring to us. They didn't promote us because we were black. Never mind what standard you pass at school,

they were still crawling under the people who didn't pass anything.

We teach them how to do the work, then you're still under them. And the payment was very poor. That's why we're still so poor even now. That's why we say, "Thank you. Mercy, Mandela." We're thankful to him, you know, because he's brought sense to us. He's brought a sense of forgiveness. You're very generous people. I do forgive but I can never forget... Yes. ..what had happened to us. You see, I'm Jewish and a lot of my family were killed in the second World War, right? So I find it very difficult to forgive. I don't know. That's just... Because I say the Nazis, they were evil and so on. And I say the same thing about Verwoerd. I can't forgive a person like that. So if you forgive, maybe you're much stronger than I am, you know, to do that. This country needs to be built. This country has been destroyed. If we go on hating, we are sending our country, taking it down to the gutters. What will happen to these children? And I want to invite you to come and stay in Africa again. And you'll forget about hating.

Part of me thinks they're all in denial, they don't recognise that you can't just put your history behind you. It's just not conceivable to me. Sort of shows a bit of feebleness of spirit for you, tossing and turning for 40 years when you really experienced nothing of the harshness that these other people went through

and you still can't move on when these other people are living their day-to-day lives. Perpetrator... "We forgive them but we've not forgotten."

Good question. Perpetrator, bystander, victim. Sometimes, it's damn difficult to know what you are. But I think I am a bystander, like most people.

And that's probably not a great position to be in. I'm still in it. Otherwise, I don't suppose I'd be coming to this country right now in the way I am. (ALL SING IN LOCAL LANGUAGE) 'Dad's attending a workshop at the Holocaust Centre, called Facing The Past. personal experience of racism The idea is to confront your own perpetrator or bystander. and examine your role as victim, Themba Lonzi. The leader of the workshop is # But when God made Africa # Did he foresee # People with empty hands

# Such as are we? # 'After apartheid ended, Truth and Reconciliation Commission. South Africa had a the process of facing the past. So South Africans are familiar with But for Dad, this is all new ground.' I will share with you now in apartheid South Africa. my story of being born It's a story which is about what was done to me, what I did to others and what I failed to do. I was filled with hatred. I hated white people. And I had the desire for revenge. Another experience of apartheid that I am having is just embedded in my education. If you say bad things about white people or whatever, you'll see that the police will come. to shape our own thinking. We were not allowed to make choices because choices were made for us. I'm one of those who did nothing. I actually believed that, in the end, I couldn't do a thing here. because I felt quite helpless, hopeless and morally devastated. going to destroy us What are the things that are that we need to leave behind? that we have from the past that are life-giving And what are the things that we can take from our past? All the answers won't come now. and to struggle with those answers. But we need to grapple (ALL SING IN LOCAL LANGUAGE) We need to find one another as human beings. and be able to see each other And there were no issues in my head, that sense of belonging. it was simply It's a wonderful feeling. (SIGHS) Um... (SOBS) and tears of grief all blended. I think tears of joy Joy because to be... In 23 years of living here, entered my life. a man like Themba had never natives, blacks. They were just Africans,

And having the other blacks and colours and racial groups together is a source of great joy. And grief... (SIGHS) ..because... Why did it happen? In 23 years of living here... 'I've come with Dad to the District Six Museum to meet his old classmates Irwin and Ronnie.' Dr Bloch, I presume. (LAUGHS)

I saw you there and it didn't look like you. You've aged, man. Yes. You've aged something terrible. No, you haven't. That's the irony. I don't think so. I think you're the one who's aged. lost a bit of hair though. You've definitely Definitely, a lot of hair. I'm good. How are you? Excellent. One of my offspring. Aaron, Ronnie, my oldest mate. Yeah, it's good. How's the trip going so far?

Well, it's all my crazy father. Besides your crazy father? Irwin. Hello, my friend. Nice to see you. You haven't met in 40 years? In 40 years, my friend. We haven't. I haven't seen him for 40 years. Yeah. I can't believe it. That's a long time.

What a big problem, this guy. I think he needs some psychotherapy. (ALL LAUGH) 'While they catch up, I take a look around the museum. District Six was one of the few mixed-race areas in Cape Town and included many Jews. 60,000 coloured people also once lived in this thriving community. But in 1966, the government declared it for whites only. The coloureds were forcibly removed and their houses flattened. to discuss the apartheid days. So it's an appropriate place for them and see a white postmortem. Remember, we couldn't go in I had forgotten. You know that? No, we could not. We were excluded. of third year. I discovered it only in October to dissect white bodies. We were not allowed I'm beginning to remember, As we are talking, go up on rounds, you know, like, when we'd in fact, my non-white classmates into the white wards. weren't permitted I remember that. Why didn't we do something about it? One sensed that you were not happy. This, I sensed from your behaviour. Yet, at the same time, you asked yourself, "If this is the way you felt at the time, why didn't you open your mouth?" OK, and that's what I'd like to... Why didn't you open your mouth? Why didn't we open our mouths to the extent of saying, "Look, if Irwin can't go to these postmortems, I ain't going either"? And that's all you needed to do. And I regret to this day, 40 years later, that I didn't do it.

43 years later. I think it's inexcusable. As I sit here now... This is why I think reconciliation is...

No, I understand what you're saying now. I understand it a little bit better. I mean, Sidney. I too wish I would have done that, I don't have a memory of it. it hasn't been eating away at me. You see, to think that I didn't do that. As I sit here now, I'm embarrassed Yeah. Well, I'm actually ashamed. What astounded me always, that where you expected protest that we were in at the time... against the situation friends decided to keep quiet. ..people like many of my Jewish Play safe. Mmm. that one always reflected on. And this is something I grew up with Jews. We were friends, we played together, and so on and so on. we slept together the situation, you know, And eventually, you come across in the political sense. where they become white You see? We were wrong. We were wrong back then, Irwin. What is needed today, if anything? It's a dismal past. And I don't think you look happy with that past at all. No. But it's history. No, well, hang on, it's ongoing history. It's as alive this minute as we talk as it was 43 years ago. For me, yeah. That's why I have to reconcile. Alright. No, no, no, hang on a minute. I have to, I said. YOU have to reconcile. that everybody else does. That doesn't mean a conversation of this nature Irwin, in your mind, 20 people, 10 people, that would involve 30 people, as something worth pursuing? do you see that It would be interesting.

The objective scientist. It would be very interesting. It would be very interesting. it would be very interesting, If you say I'm willing to play a part in it. the weekend of the reunion 'It's finally so I'm letting Dad get on with it.' (BOTH SING OPERA) MAN: You've retired, have you? Uh, retired, yes, from medicine. Good to see you. Welcome to Groote Shcuur. (PEOPLE APPLAUD) 'He's been looking forward to the ceremony today,

when he and his classmates are reawarded their degrees. The reconciliation session is tomorrow. But he's worried that not many people will show up.' If you've got buddies who are here and you feel you can gain their confidence, just mention that we're having this conversation. But nobody can be forced to come don't have to do any talking either. and even when they come, they

to listen in to what's going on. They might just want and the diplomates presented to me. I will now receive the graduates diploma in philosophy in medicine. MAN: Sidney Bloch, PhD FRC Psych,

University of Melbourne. Professor of Psychiatry, New Zealand Journal of Psychiatry Editor of the Australian and for the past 13 years. and bushwalking. He has a passion for choral singing (PEOPLE APPLAUD) Thank you very much. Thank you. Vice Chancellor referred Well, friends, a few minutes ago. to a process of healing earlier this week A few of us got together and about what we're doing here. and we chatted about this that tomorrow afternoon, And we came up with the idea we would have what we're calling a conversation, a free and open chat. Things happened in those days, we all know about them, and I guess for some of us, they haven't perhaps been ventilated and I just very much hope we'll all meet together in this conversation tomorrow around one o'clock. Thanks very much indeed. 'As people show up for Dad's reconciliation session, he's still anxious about how it will go. and a few others have come.' At least Irwin, Ronnie of the fact I had always been conscious or whatever number, that among the 108 students by special licence, I am told. there were 12 who were there But as we all know, you guys - of you here today - and there are a few representatives

in a most shocking way. were discriminated against course of my stay at this university I didn't feel as slighted during the pictures that were shown today. as I sat and watched those party a single black face over there. It really hit me. There was not outside the situation we were. It's made me realise how much Those students who were not classified white were made to understand that they were non-white and not really part of the general group. But we did not feel humiliated. This is something that I want to say here. We did not feel humiliated. I think, if anything, we looked upon this majority

as behaving in a very stupid sort of way. "We are going towards a situation eventually, which is going to be real democracy, don't they realise this?" And this was our attitude. I just want to point out that exclusion was not a matter of colour. Exclusion was often about many other things. And I felt excluded because I belonged to a language group called Afrikaans, which was in a distinct minority, even less than the 12 coloured people that we had in our medical school, OK? So, please... Irwin, I really am sad to hear... And I feel almost hurt by your words because certainly, none of what you said was any of my emotions that I felt over the six years. I actually tried to break down barriers. You were an exception then. That might be so.

But I really did.

But I still felt that you couldn't get into, with all due respect, into a Jewish group. They would sit in the union The coloured people would sit in the union by themselves. If you joined them, the conversation just stopped. OK? I never got into the Jewish group. I was Jewish. I never got in to the Jewish group. Believe me, as a non-Jewish, I had even less chance. We've all got a story to tell. We've all been through a process of change, of development, transformation. And for me, that's more important, to go away with something really positive of what's going on now than to be indulging with tears about the past. What can we, as a group who owe our education to this place, do not to squander the opportunity we have to come back to a so-called non-racial country, to a so-called unified country. How can we help? People can come out here for their 3-month holidays or whatever.

We can teach medical students, we can act as role models. SIDNEY: We had a very solid discussion about where we might go with this and do things.

And so doing something on behalf of the class of '64 is a reality, which is really a great source of satisfaction. Did any coloured or blacks come? Two.

It was only partially... Do you feel reconciled? Not really, because not many people, in the end, showed up to it. One of our friends said, "Oh, look, it's all about Jewish angst," because there were quite a few Jews there. I think he might have had a point. 'So the reconciliation attempt still hasn't resolved much for Dad. But here at Groote Schuur Hospital, he decides to come face to face with his own prejudice.' When I heard you talk in the conversation session yesterday, I was absolutely stunned. I've never spoken about this. Yes. What, throughout all these years? Yeah. Really? to any other Afrikaner in the class I did not reach out to you or or to any Afrikaner anywhere ever. and be honest with you I have to strip off all the crap and say you were the enemy. I could say to a large extent I suppose, you know, of some of your statements. that I was apprised The idea that the Afrikaner

put into one category was someone to be sort of that we all make. was making exactly the same mistakes putting Germans into one category. putting Jews into one category, But certainly, I don't think I ever consciously would ever have been part or ever was part of containing or agreeing with any discriminatory sort of practices. But doing anything that was active during those times would have been a very strange thing for me and counter to my culture, to the way I was brought up,

to my respect for the law, even if it was bad. But I felt that many people who were far more vocal opponents of the system, as they had the opportunity, they disappeared out of South Africa and made no contribution to the change that happened in South Africa. I'm not blaming you. And you know, once again, you should have stayed. Or I'm not saying that

which each one has to make. That's an individual decision who stayed But I was one of the people to make the whole thing work. and tried is the important thing. And I think that in the end, to me, to organise the session This is what propelled me we are well-intentioned, because I feel that we have the right spirit. had the chance to talk. But we haven't

for me. And it's a great breakthrough I feel I want to give you a hug. Is that permissible? That's permissible. (LAUGHS) There's something that's very healing about personal contact. Absolutely. This has been great. I thank you very much for this. OK. Thank you. Thank you, Sidney. Cheers.

He's not Verwoerd, who was the archetypal tyrant of apartheid. He's Ed Coetzee. And it's a huge difference and it's a big learning experience for me. One of the best learning experiences I've had on this trip. You abandoned the country and you abandoned your moral. In a sense, you know, it was a massive blow to what you stood for. And now we're coming back here.

Will you be able to accept that? for doing that? Will you be able to forgive yourself It's not easily forgivable. I can't forgive myself. Somebody has to forgive me. and ask the people who suffered In a way, I've got to go prepared to forgive me. whether they're 'Dad's still hanging on to his guilt. the last day of our journey.' I can't shift him and it's of their forgiveness? Could you feel that you're worthy

off the coast of Cape Town. 'We're on the notorious Robben Island and other political prisoners This is where Nelson Mandela were kept in appalling conditions.' Are you the guide or the organiser or...? I'm the guide. Or the chairman of the board? I wish I was. Well, we could promote you. I'll put in a good word for you. 'Our guide is Modise Phekonyane. Dad tells him his story and why he's returned to South Africa. Then Modise tells us his story. It turns out that he was a political prisoner here.

Modise was just 17 when he was arrested. But unlike Albie Sachs, he wasn't sent home to his mother.' This was my home for a period of five years. This is where I lived. Would you guys like to come through? into complete submission. We were beaten There was a lot of suffering here. was buried up to the neck level. One guy that I know He demanded his freedom. guards, kicked his head, mocked him. The gathered around him, prison They kicked and beat him up so bad he permanently lost an eye. to the point the future of South Africa. This suffering was all about the ashes and dust of this ground. Nelson Mandela himself rose from Led by example to forgive. Mandela for a period of 18 years. This was the home of Mr Nelson to come to terms with yourself, Coming here to pay homage, it's not a sense of guilt. You've disassociated with the evil. You have come to associate with the positive and to embrace the future. Much as this key in the past represented my pain, it represents my future today. It's a symbol of hope for our country. We unlock possibilities. I just want to present you with the opportunity. Very poetic. Very lovely. To open this key, this door of Mr Mandela where he lived for 18 years, and open the future prospects in your life. I have been able to forgive. At some point, it's something that we had to make up your mind you have to do, to forgive. Forgive those who tortured, who brutalised, almost close to the point of death. it was very difficult. It was painful, it was hard,

when I chose to forgive, to heal. I gave myself a chance, is that you are consumed inside. The opposite of that and psychologically. Emotionally, spiritually can you forgive me Just, well, personally, "the chicken run" when I was 23? for doing what they call Absolutely. is not conditional. And my forgiveness to you you have come home and said, The mere fact that that in itself is enough. "I was wrong by walking away," I have no right to judge you. I have no right to condemn you. I have to right to make you feel guilty the rest of your life. Your children, their children's children, your grand-grand-children, would have no reason to condemn you for being inactive. They would respect you for the guts you had to come back and face your past and deal with it once and for all. That's very generous of you, Modise.

I don't know. I, um, I thank you for that. I don't know if it's deserved. The guts, you know, it sounds a little too good for me.

I think we've come to that point. Robben Island, it's 40 years later, I think right here, we're sitting on you're facing your past now. you've come to confront your past, that Modise talked about, We've come to the point you make your decision. that point where Mmm. You totally messed up in the past. You neglected your responsibility. You walked away from this situation. But now you have come back and you realise things have changed

part of that change, and you were not be part of the future. but you want to And that's the bottom line. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you. Do you feel good? Yes.

# Oh, God of Africa # You have made our land # So give us wisdom # To understand. # I've gone on a journey from being incredibly cynical

to, I guess, my hope, my, you know, my belief in humanity is affirmed. I've gone from going, "Look, I don't care, it's not my problem, I would have gone to the other side of the bus, walked off and forgotten about it," but I feel like now if I was put to the test, I would like to think that I would be on that side of the bus, the wrong side of the bus.

# When God made Africa # How could he know # That what he had made # Could hurt him so? # # Open our eyes to see # Behind the fears

# To the human being inside # In spite of the race # To the human being inside # In spite of the race # To the human being inside # In spite of the race. # I love you, Africa. Quite a journey all-round. as much as I did, And I hope you enjoyed the thrill of re-meeting Alby Sax. his incredible bravery. And just remembering Next week -

in our recent history we revisit a defining time for Australian Roman-Catholics. and he'd hand out communion So he'd walk down there stuck their tongues out. to people who were kneeling there, "Why don't you put it in your hand?" Vatican Two said, I changed things dramatically. it also changed Catholic blood. And psychologically Suddenly, I think, in the Church, everyone got permission to be human. a Pope had really smiled, I think, It was the first time for two centuries. Challenge, change, faith. Catholic Australia and the Second Vatican Council. It's next Sunday on Compass. Not to be missed. Until then, goodnight. Closed Captions by CSI

This program is not subtitled 'Four billion people, 70 countries, half the world's film. in the Asia Pacific Today, we'll meet movie-makers dynamic region on earth.' telling their stories from the most THEME MUSIC 'The Asia Pacific Screen Awards the cinematic excellence were created to acclaim of the region's filmmakers to a global audience. and promote their work have another objective, But the awards and preservation and it's to help in the promotion of our respective cultures.' Two, one. In the words of UNESCO, is the common heritage of humanity". "Cultural diversity and preserve our cultures, If we are to promote

and shared. then film must be encouraged their joys, their struggles, Because films are about people, their customs and traditions, their spirituality, their emotions, their national pride. and above all, together the films and filmmakers Through this initiative, we bring and our respective cultures. The award goes...

..to Hiam Abbass in The Lemon Tree. APPLAUSE and judging process 'A year-long nominations with the presentation of awards has its climax on Queensland's Gold Coast every November.' The Asia Pacific Screen Awards

promises to be a unique platform to showcase some of the best creative works on screen from a region that boasts the most prolific cinema production in the world. And not just the most prolific, the region may well also have the greatest diversity in cinema as well, the fitting reflection of its vast mosaic of culture. 'On today's Scene By Scene presentation, we'll see how Australia's natural storytellers transfer their talents to movie-making. To some, the journey has been a lifesaver.' I grew up on the streets of Alice Springs getting in trouble with the police, and I needed direction and somehow I found cinema and cinema found that direction for me. 'We'll visit Kuwait and join a member of the ruling family as she sets her sights on building a local film industry.' To be a filmmaker was difficult, it wasn't something that you go and say you're a filmmaker and people would say "Oh, fantastic, bravo!". No. It was almost like, "But why?". 'From India, two of Bollywood's hottest young actresses - Konkona Sen Sharma and Neha Dhupia. It's a never-ending schedule of television commercials, media commitments and of course, making movies where art sometimes imitates life.' Here's the problem - all we ever think about is money! I dunno what happened to journalism! (MAN LAUGHS) (SPEAKS IN HINDI) 'The Philippines provided this year's Cannes Film Festival Best Director award winner - Brillante Mendoza is at the forefront of a new wave of Filipino movie-makers.

He's one director not shy about saying he likes awards.' (LAUGHS) Well, probably it's the best part of it. The recognition, I think, is the reward of everything that we do.

'We'll explore the Turkish Cinema where local productions are taking more than 60% of the box office. And now the aim is to get more investment from overseas.' But we have stories, but like the Europeans, like the more rich countries, they don't have stories, but they have money so it's a good collaboration.

'An Australian cinema masterpiece from the 1970s was lost, found and restored. Those involved 40 years ago knew Wake In Fright was something special.' When you're making a film, you're always aiming for 100, always. And if you're lucky, sometimes you come closer, not so close. But I think with one of the films, The Apprenticeship Of Duddy Kravitz and with Wake In Fright, I came closest to that 100. 'But first, let's get underway in India where Scene By Scene caught up with one of Bollywood's most famous families - father and daughter, Anil and Sonam Kapoor.' In Alexander Dumas' book The Three Musketeers, two of the musketeers are called Athos and Porthos. What was the name of the third Musketeer? I'd like to phone a friend. POP MUSIC PLAYS I think it was the best thing to happen to India actually, Slumdog Millionaire. Stars, actors, studios... They just want to embrace India, they want to come to India and Slumdog Millionaire has done that. 'Slumdog Millionaire has built a bridge from Bollywood to Hollywood. It won eight Oscars, including Best Picture.' You're absolutely right! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE