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9am with David and Kim -

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(generated from captions) This program is Good morning and welcome to Good morning, everyone. Happy post- Cup Cup big day. Did y Nigh nag is still running. My I backed... The Fuzz obviously. Tungstan Strike. It led for most of the race and then came in last. it finish last? Last. They the race and then came in last. Did

out too fast. morning's Age' has a beautiful out too fast. Long race, that. This

entire field, it names every entire field, it names every single horse, except my horse didn't quite get on the photograph. It h name and an arrow off the had name and an arrow off the page. We

place because it's in Victoria for the Cup. Had a wonderful barbecue with our kinder mates and

sweep. Everything was fan mates and my husband organised the

And then he won it. That dodgy? Because all of dodgy? Because all of the names are all screwed up and we all screwed up and we had last pick. So it was entirely by So it was entirely by chance. And a meltdown

meltdown was had because someone don't understand the punt just yet? else wanted to win the Cup. They

Ripley was arguing that Cameron had won It was a won last year. It was a disaster.

weather. Lovely in Melbourne. It was a wonderful day. Great

sunshine now. A film of rain over the weekend and

sunshine now. A film based on the

life of growing up a Chinese boy in America. The home song stories deals with themes of betrayal, fading beauty, unrequited love and madness and has been nominated for

14AFI awards. Joel Lock portrays the character based on The decision of a person to simply disappear confused and distressed by a situation they have no control A set of guidelines has A set of guidelines has been created to offer counselling created to offer

support for family

have been left behind. We'll more about this from creator. research tells those creator. Unfortunately, new

to rest on our laurels as soon as

possible that possible that we're driven by a

in to our 70s. Consequently, we'll continue to work until well

aged care system isn't with

with specific demands. Mike discovered this generational Dr John Irvine awkward issue of moving on. Dr John Irvine will look at the

the right time intoo introduce a awkward issue of moving on. Finding

new partner to your children very difficult. He'll advise on how soon is too soon.

that the average retirement age in Australia is - do you know - 78. Wow. I'd really the next couple of years I can is that's not going to happen. can put my feet up. But the reality

is that's not going to happen. You

were saying to me yesterday that by

hoping that you'd done it all and the time you were my age you were

realised that was quite a long w away so I decided I wanted it to sooner. Calm down. away so I decided I wanted it to be

the day like the day like that already? I'm in a naughty mood. If we were in States, our program would go naughty mood. If we were in the

this today. Oh, that's right. actually, our program would doing other things because it be a repeat. That's right, because they're all writers wrey're all on strike. There's a

writers strike in the States and that man, Mark Gibson, who that man, Mark Gibson, who keeps emailing us, boring little man. He emailing us, boring little man. He said

strike which said 1988 they had a 22-week writer

million US in 22 weeks. 22 weekicise a long time to hold out.

their heels in and they moving at all. Current TV and moving at all. Current TV and film in annual economic activity for Los industry generates $30 billion US

Angeles County alone. Just

They're holding on in order royalties because they show. I think that's fair royalties because they write the

Do the reruns here. What? Royalties. For you and I? Yeah. They do that Christmas show. You and have said. That's an idea. You're

good. You're good. I could learn things from good. You're good. I could learn things

money's coming in. 20 cents worth. things from you. Here we go, the

doing a week of salads and today called chef salad, stating the doing a week of salads and today is

expect agmechanic's or a bank bleeding obvious. We're hardly

manager's salad. We could have a fat free salad. What's

page this morning? Specialist defence investigators have been called in after the shooting death of an Australian soldier in East Timor. been released but the Defence Force has revealed a body was found the barracks not ruled out suicide or an not ruled out suicide or

accident. It's the third death accident. It's the third death of an Australian soldier this month. At least three inquiries At least three inquiries have been

launched following the launched following the death of 7-year-old autistic girl 7-year-old autistic girl allegedly from starvation. The NSW Opposition is is demanding sweeping changes to the Services regarding at-risk chi the Department of Community

A series of inquiries are under

how little -- this little girl died Each searching for answers as to Each searching for answers as

the way she did. Her lifeless was discovered by was discovered by her mother

Saturday. I knew there something wrong. I thought she sick. Her father claims she had eaten dinner the previous night. rang the ambulance. I said, "Help me, please. My daughter's dead." Two other teenage children have since home. The Premier is now seeking answers as to how this could I shake my head I shake my head a child allegedly, under are through starvation. I find that very difficult to come with. tragedy. The ombudsman overtaking a further inquiry. As indicated before, prime time television in the States television in the States is feeling the pinch of a writers' which shows no sign of industrial action has forced late which shows no sign of ending. The

night 'The Late reruns. David Letterman knew what was coming on his last live show. This could be and This could be your last look at me

comics did have to because of Happy Hollywood, in New York, it's day Hollywood, in New York, it's day 2 of what could be a My staff were not My staff were not writing anymore.

My writers are here. Jay Leno was out on the line feeding his doughnuts. doughnuts. Across town, the offices were closed at 'The

were closed at 'The Office'. The actors who also actors who also write it were on the picket line. The refused to refused to negotiate for us. to to not be terrified. Writers and producers residuals. How much writers paid off the Internet? The last time the

writerswalked was 22 years ago. Analysts say today could cost a billion today could cost a billion dollars. A poisonous being banned in every other State. An inquiry is Australian toy of the year hospitalised magic craze and 2000 7 Toy of the Year.

But the toy has been But the toy has been hide agpotentially deadly secret. Last Sunday a 10-year-old was rushed to hospital after swallowing some of the beads. She was vomiting, convulsing and passing out. I beside myself. I was because beside myself. I was so frightened because I literally thought that we we were waiting for the ambulance. The cause of her illness - The cause of her illness - ague oo used to make the glue glue used to make the beads together. It turns in to GHB

the beads are swallowed. can cause you to de-bcome come from which you may stop breathing or obstruct your potentially cause Connections Connections of Melbourne Cup winner Efficient partied hard The victory was especially sweep

Williams drought on Cup wins. After a hat- trick of Melbourne Williams knows how to celebrate. The party kicking off as soon The party kicking off as soon as Efficient big race, becoming the big race, becoming the first 4- year-old since far Lap to win

Phar Lap to win the Cup after winning the Victoria Derby. winning the Victoria Derby. But it's, you know, always exciting win anywhere but to win a quote, he said, "It's like about sex and then it." No doubt he'll be back year and Lloyd has raced today. He'll

another Melbourne Cup I suppose. Purple Moon ran seconds Purple Moon ran seconds but like

fellow international, connections were in no mood to stick around. Most leaving the

country last night, just hours after the big race. We'll have more on those stories coming up at o'clock

o'clock and a full wrap at 5 o'clock. Families and o'clock. Families and friends of missing missing people often place so much focus on trying to understand or how a person has vanished their lives. They ignore the common and and understandable feelings of

anger, grief and isolation and find

themselves trapped in the Now a world first Australian Federal Police support program is helping people deal with helping people deal with their losses and look to

author joins us to explain how counsellors can offer new hope. She joins us now. Hi. Good morning. It's a new program to guidelines, a framework for counsellors guidelines, a framework for counsellors of families of missing persons, it's extraordinary to think this the first one of its Definitely. I've been working in

the missing persons sector for years now and I was working years now and I was working for a counsellor for families of It was difficult when I first started in that job to find out there there was nothing written that really unpacked those for families. Is counselling not generally offered to these p I mean, it is offered as I mean, it is offered as a of of a person but for so many families, particularly in those early days, the focus is the investigation, not necessarily on on looking after themselves. What sort face? I think for families there's a whole host of confusion for and particularly in and particularly in developing this framework with Federal Police, I really

talking with families that they really wanted to find out there was no that that roller-coaster ride of

emotions that they feel is

the typical experience of ambiguous or unresolved loss. I'm

presuming that it must be so much more difficult to them may well never actually be able to grieve the loss if they're perhaps hoping against all odds perhaps hoping against all odds at times that the or the person will reappear? That's right. And I think right. And I think what happens for familieAnd I think what happens for families, typically in the past, was families, typically in the past, specialised literature available for counsellors they're almost forced to choose whether they believe the loss will be temporary or permanent. try to envisage with try to envisage with this framework

is that counsellors understand that for families the fact that they're

missing is the trauma, it's that space in between of space in between of the temporary loss and the permanent loss. sense they should choose or give sense they should choose or give up on the fact the person And there's is there? There is no is there? There is no body? There's no arrest. People talk about Often no funeral. People talk the Often no funeral. People talk about the word 'closure'. There is closure? For the experience missing, there that happen when you're that happen when you're grieving the death of a get in the paper or have opportunity to have a funeral resolve the loss for some ways yourself. It's arguable that any loss you're able to get over but with missing it's a sense that families that we forward rather than move on. Because moving on suggests they leave the missing person behind. You worked with Pauline Boss after September what did you learn from her in what did you learn from her in the way families were dealt with I think, I mean, I spent a with her at the with her at the University of Minnesota and we just

talking. And I really got to space experiencing was normal. That what they were experiencing unable the person not be coming back, that was key that I learnt from her. part of her work around September 11 and the families that she worked with, she brought people who had common experiences. that's something that we've attempting to do in Australia. But it's really important that counsellors have counsellors have this Do groups? I think so. Over the last four years, I've worked both in the

NSW Attorney Generals Department and now with the Australian Federal Police and I think it's families meet other families there's a sense in that sor support group framework families tend to rely on each families tend to rely on each other and it's story with someone if story with someone if you're worried about traumatising them as well because

experiences. Being able to visit a counsellor and talk about counsellor and talk about the challenge without across be able to move forward. Just before we go in before we go in to the suggestions, talking police talking about the role of the police with these families seems to me so often to

me so often to be almost as a counsellor? Yes, that's right. Which would inhibit Which would inhibit the investigation. do but they have to play the role of the quasi That's right. I've worked particularly NSW police and with the other States and Territories now, with explaining to them that they do tend they do tend to fall in to the role of of a quasi-type of counsellor. For families, families, that means they're necessarily getting the best support that's available to The boundaries of being involved in the

families contact details of agencies that of their specific type of loss, it means then that police with the actual work of locating missing people, which is the most important thing. What have we learnt learnt from cases like Madeleine McCann case? I Madeleine McCann case? I think, on a universal level, all loss is quite common. And quite common. And those experiences that families of missing have internationally is very similar to the Australian experience. And that was what I was what I found when I conducted my Churchill Fellowship last my Churchill Fellowship last year cases in Australia like the

abductions make up a very persentage of missing I'm always careful when I speak families that whilst their

experiences are the same. From the Madeleine McCann case, after after the investigation almost concludes in a sense, the often turns to the family questions answers for. being put up as suspects which being put up as suspects which must add enormously to their gri that don't gain that much I know with sitting I know with sitting with parents over the years, there's a huge being able to person's case but not seeing t it was going to happen in the place. seen in the media with the Madeleine McCann similar similar for families in Australia. This new framework This new framework that you've researched and five key themes for working with persing with families of missing persons. Can we go through persons. Can we go through the

first one being, and they're not mutually exclusive, I understand. The first one being reanimation. What does that mean? I've worked out with working with families is the stuckness that they exp They become They become very stuck to the time that the person went missing. Every that happened before that time everything everything that happens after is really based on the really based on the actual disappearance. about reanimation, we're helping families of frozenness, of being

that time of disappearance. What you'll notice with talking with families of missing, intraicately explain intraicately explain the details of the disappearance. So it's the disappearance. So it's abouts re-animating the missing person they become a person, rather they become a person, rather than just a missing person, because that tends to become their title.

Exactly. Also, the issue of having a body and being able to

through with a burial and a through with a burial and a funeral too too is also distressing? It is, and even with some of the even with some of the families with worked with in terms of the framework around homicide still really difficult on the fact come back. That's very important for families to have for families to have that sense of knowing when they don't have knowing when they don't have a body, they can still I guess start to unpack the unpack the difficulties that person isn't going to Another that person isn't going to return. Another theme is a celebration so far. So without far. So without knowing exactly what that is, is that a of the

missing? It is. Because I what I found with families, said before, is the person gets lost. Their title becomes the person.

person. If you think about Daniel Morcombe's family, he's Morcombe's family, he's known nationally as a missing person. nationally as a missing person. And it takes away from the it takes away from the other things he he might have that we don't know about. about. So suggesting about. So suggesting to families they can celebrate so far of that missing person isn't suggesting that they give up on the fact that that person might return. Another one of the something called a trauma Can you explain what that is and why why it's important? What for families in any type that cope with that trauma is really dependent upon what What's happened to their whole life also, not just their whole life also, not just the experience. A timeline of what's happened to really unpacking ways that they

use those skills in terms of use those skills in terms of coping with their current with their current T = % they're experiencing. And helps predict ways of how might live with that loss. As we've mentioned several times so far the chat this morning, the problem is for these family to move forward. that's almost one of the that's almost one of the hardest things because why would to things because why would you want

to in a sense? Exactly. Exactly. I mean, I think in the space that I've sat space that I've sat with families, it's not really, um, moving on a it's not really, um, moving on and leaving that behind. It's missing person and the memories them with you. And they don't have to be big steps. They can be small steps. Some families I've with 3-4 times a week in those early days when someone has early days when someone has gone back to work or get back to those activities that they able to do before the able to do before the person went missing, that's a missing, that's a real significant step forward for families. This new framework is a guideline for

counsellors but we can access this information ourselves, can't we?

That's right. It's important That's right. It's important for

families of missing to access the

for

what the common experiences might be for families of the missing. It's great work you're doing and I'm sure it will people. Thank you. Thank you.

because the mid-size Epica CDX with four airbags and alloys is yours Clean up at your Holden dealer now.

autobiographical book was named as

a nomination for the Oscars. It's been nominated for a swag of film Awards. Tony joins us with is the youngest IF nomnee for is the youngest IF nomnee for best actor. How -- nominee for best actor. How did story in such an honest way? It was a story I always felt I had a story I always felt I had to tell

both for myself and a story teller.

I had written a couple of pieces before that were short television pieces. This completion ofwas like the completion of a cycle of work. But probably at the time, it didn't really occur to me how exposed I'd feel now. Obviously your mum in it? And my sister as well. In an well. In an honest and not unkind way. But way. But very honest. a difficult woman and I think film shows that. It's funny, it? Because in seems almost unlikable because as

member of the audience, you kind of want to go, "You can't behave want to go, "You can't behave like that." making the movie allow you to - did you

you go in to making the movie you go in to making the movie fully understanding your mother or

the movie make you fully understand her your mother? I thought I understood her when then I actless and a magnificent performance from her. We had her the show. I know. And process of working with her, help her understand the role, actually

actually had to understand my own mother more because when I was writing writing the script, it was from the perspective of the little which is the character Joel But to work with Joan to understand that role, I had to understand that role, I had to understand the role. You can understand clearically that was you as a boy but then to try but then to try to explain to it would be it would be quite a task. It did help me understand things and made

me more compassionate What made you think Joan -- him What made you think Joan -- him the child for the job. There's

child for the job. There's that horrible which requires you do which requires you do too do something in your pocket but

fantastic in this role. So guys to cast somebody guys to cast somebody who has never audition was really terrible. I love there was something about his on screen. And as a director, it's just a pleasure with someone with someone like Joel because once he understood what acting was, he just got better and better. He just got better and better. He had never been in a film before never been in a film before or even in front of camera. He didn't know not to look in to the camera. not to look in to the camera. What did you think acting was? Just taking stuff that the director

tells you and follow the That's what I thought it was. But you've really emotion and feel what

put yourself in the character's shoes. Did it make it easier that Tony was there, giving Tony was there, giving you were playing the young Tony? It playing the young Tony? It was really helpful because Tony could tell me at was feeling at that time and would acting. It was really he acting. It was really helpful. What did you do to get I did you do to get in to character?

I useded to speak to Tony and ask him how he was feeling And now I match it with the But emotionally, did you have But emotionally, did you have to kind of conjure up

along the way? It's a big job to that in a movie? Yeah, um, you know, I had to you know, I had to try and you know, I had to try and put

myself in Tony's shoes at the There were fairly traumatic There were fairly traumatic moments in the film. Did they disturb Um, not really. I just there was pretty at the age of 11 had to go through such things. It's interesting, can I ask you must as a director feel that responsibility with child actors to you're putting them you're putting them through such traumatic mechanics of mechanics of the film shoot take that away I was concerned for I was concerned for Joel, I think I was was concerned, wasn't I? Did he show enough concern? No, I concerned for Joel.

had this kind of - he's a smart He kind of knew the He kind of knew the difference between acting and what was him what was the character. used to call cut, he used to pull face to get himself out of the character. I would call cut and would pull would pull a face. That was his of getting out think. Do you think. Do you think it's helped you resolve some of those childhood issues? Maybe resolve issues? Maybe resolve is the wrong word? Resolve is tricky. I word? Resolve is tricky. I think that in some ways those can't can't be resolved. But I think, I don't

of gone past them to some extent. bit of therapy? Probably you can

find more efficient therapy than on a film. How therapy than on a film. How typical do you think your story do you think your story is, how typical is it in terms of being obvious expose of immigration in Australia in the '60s Australia in the '60s and '70s, particularly for Chinese Was yours a typical stor thought thought my story was exceptional because it was so dramatic. My mother was such a larger than life character. But in making the film and showing it, so many people have

come up to me and said, "That was my mother." That's what Joan saying saying to us. The experience saying to us. The experience of dislocation for particularly dislocation for women in particular, particularly women who on their looks, on their looks, it was very traumatic. And I think it dramatic event. We should take point, should take a actor award in actor award in the IF Awards. you a bit excited about that? Was excited when I read it? I was shocked that I could get nominated for such a big award. for such a big award. You're not against kids, you're against grown- ups. You're the ups. You're the youngest ever. Have you been inspired Yeah, after the filming of Yeah, after the filming of the film, I just loved acting so much, joined an agency. So I hope I get some more stuff. I'm sure

Make sure you get Make sure you get your suit sorted out. Who is your dad. Well done. Were they keen for you to become an actor? you to become an actor? Yeah, my mum and dad were really supportive. My mum used to practice the My mum used to practice the script with me every night. So, yeah, was a really big help. is actually their their children acting. One girl we

really liked but wouldn't let her off school to do follow-up audition. Because it takes takes time out of school or a problem with film They'd rather their children They'd rather their children be doctors or doctors or lawyers. Whatever happened to that marvellous happened to that marvellous movie

you made with some very, very performances in it called Youth'? I think they've all stars since then. My wife being one of them. Yes, I heard that. That was my first film out of film school. It was such a pleasure to make. What's happening in t make. What's happening in the Australian film industry? really had a bumper couple of years. Great movies. 'Lucky Miles', 'Dr Plonk'.

it changed? I think that there the the film financing mechanism, which is one of the major financing Australian financing Australian films, decided to start this to start this evaluation system

would invest in them and that's lifted the quality of Australian films. Clearly we're doi

something right in other something right in other areas writers coming through. incredibly talented luck -- lucky with talent Australia. Sometimes it's been bit harder to make the more bit harder to make the more art house,

house, the more meaningful films because at any given time there's a balance towards one or the other.

But I think at the moment

gearing towards making better And I think that's a very thing for our industry. Was Joan always your desired choice? Yeah. She was clearly the one actress the world

grav tas to the role range to play the role. She fantastic. Good luck. With the IF Awards next week. Awards. Golden Horse Awards. Awards. Golden Horse Awards. Should we talk about Oscars? Should we plug the eligible for it which eligible for it which is a big

lottery ticket and sort lottery ticket and sort of dreaming. We'll see what We'll see what happens. Good luck. Nice to meet you both. The the chef salad next. Things looking up.

I know Anthony's a I know Anthony's a chef and this week is a week of salads. clearly making a salad up along clearly making a salad up along the way. That's the whole point chef chef salad? Originally that was the idea. Like a chef's surprise the soup. It will be pum Always always pumpkin. Have in this? No pumpkin. I'm thinking the reason behind the reason behind chef's salad, and chefs tend to work long hours as you may or you may or may not you may or may not be aware, they're angry and volatile. Clearly highly fertile. Which is with all the heat around with all the heat around the region, they shouldn't be. What saying with, with a chef's salad what was I saying? what was I saying? I don't know! Whether it is made up along the way. Chefs are quite known average diet and often go home and

have baked beans on toast Vegemite on toast. And beer wine. Get away from the

food they normally do. chuck stuff together and sometimes on a work and they say, "Let's slam it on the is a stroke of geni random but it tends to work. This is your very own? No, is your very own? No, no, no. The componeents of a chef componeents of a chef salad are ham, turkey, - cheese and lettuce dressing. A classic Boxing Day

salad because of the leftover ham and turkey. Chuck a bit in. Boxing Day salad. We might

endorse that. I want to make a change. Kim, I'd change. Kim, I'd like you to re David, jump up. Are you going

make him dirty? I love I'm going to get you to do something gruff and manly. What's that? A piece of turkey. What bit is that? That's a turkey bosom. That's not That's not very manly. Wipe your hands. I'm going to

going first and I'm using going first and I'm using the bought egg mayonnaise. certain make your own. You can use sour cream, even yogurt if you wanted to. What I want to do is always keep a spare jar as sort of like my jar. I want to thin That's an excellent idea. That's an excellent idea. I'm going to do that. David, because I'm just sitting here, "Thinking every time

I make a salad I have to find a I make a salad I have to find a jar

to put it in and work put the plastic over it." I can put a lid on it. See knowledgeable and adds to segment. What are segment. What are you trying to say?

say? Not much. The Reserve Bank has, in fact, raised interest rates by a

quarter of a percent. Really? What

a big surprise? Will it help? blame John Howard for that? blame John Howard for that? Yeah, let's. let's. Will you vote differently because because interest rate rises happened? I don't think so. They're talking about another the end of the year. Why don't do it all in do it all in one? Kim, you're going to shake that. The lid's to shake that. The lid's on David. Dodgy. I've done that in the

middle of the night with You didn't put the lid on and it goes everywhere. A little Kim's personal life is Kim's personal life is shedding, isn't it? I have tomatoes. tomatoes. They're developed in Australia. That's Australia. That's a mini roma. Won a gold medal in France as a new

product. It is highly delicious. What I'm going to do is What I'm going to do is break some of these up to release amazing flavour and aroma in to the

bowl and become part bowl and become part of the think you were so scared think you were so scared of food.

nice. Lovely. nice. Lovely. David, what I'll get

you to do is rip the leaves up them? How many? I was talking them? How many? I was talking about solid. going to do this a I'm I'm yell out when to stop. David, they're not supposed They're supposed Stop counting them and doing the

number of tears per lettuce lea How How many cuts and lettuce leaves have you got? I'm avoiding the ones. Tu got? I'm avoiding the big ones. They're all the same.

good. A bit of Lebanese cucumber. You get to use half one of the bigger ones and let

the rest of it rot in the fridge. Of course, that's perfect, mate.

That's really good. You're standing here again. This not a good idea swapping you guys over. Look at the Thinned out. What have we Thinned out. What have we done to that? That's

consistency, the flavo the flavour. It's juice and a bit of turned the mayonnaise in to a dressing? Yep. around for me? Sure. It comes the presentation. With the protein part of it you can mix it in salad and in to the bowl. But want to do something different. So I've got a chunk of my ham here and

what you might do is see it in a pub and they've got strips of boiling like that in the salad. you see the latest report. The report meats meats is highly carcinogenic? Really. I'll get thin strips off it

like this. Leave the skin on end. end. Is that skin? No, cured, cured, so it's a just the outside of the meat, yeah. A bit of We're just cutting pieces this. You can dice it, slice it, cut in to strips. OK. And cut in to strips. OK. And of course I'm going to slice up turkey breast.

I have. It looks dry. Very moist. You're too Very moist. You're too far away, you should be over here. benefits of just a different angle. I to to roast the breast. I stead of in a bowl, you a bowl, you know my flat plate on occasion - that's nicely occasion - that's nicely mixed, David. a clean game. A bit too much dressing on it for my Really? You can certainly put Really? You can certainly put less on. Am I the only one who dressing on the side so I can it when I like? That's a good idea. Don't Don't suggest it to the restaurant industry because they'll charge for a bowl of dressing on Exactly. That difficult one on Table 5. I have some nice tasty or a vintage cheddar here over the a vintage cheddar here over the top. And maybe And maybe put less in and finish it

with a little bit of a with a little bit of a drizzle of dressing over the top. Makes it look nice and moist on the top. A

version of a chef's salad using ham, turkey, other you're the sort of pork, you could use all those letover meats in this salad salad if you -- leftover meats in this particular salad if This particular salad if you wish. Tastes exactly as you'd expect Tastes exactly as you'd expect it to. Very good. If you'd like Anthony's recipe for exotic you can download it. What are you can download it. What are you We're doing a banana blossom salad. A

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David Gilmore the guitar player from Pink Floyd. We'll have more of that. Yeah. You need to that. Yeah. You need to come along. We'll bring you the latest news headlines but Dr the break indicates when is best

The sudden and untimely deaths Steve

Steve Irwin, Peter Steve Irwin, Peter Brock and Belinda Emmett public grief. And even a whisper of romance for their partners, are John explains. Are John explains. Are there any rules? You look at these people who been through such grief and been through such grief and I'm really excited they've found someone someone to make them are some cultures, are some cultures, you must wear black for a certain black for a certain period of time. And it denotes that you're in mourning society, which is no rules, very, very hard. rule, very hard. And we do have rules, especially rules, especially if they're people we look up, then expectations of how they will behave because behave because we're their fans this is what we'd expect. That puts a lot of pressure on that person. There aren't any rules but there are certainly some are certainly some guidelines that are pretty much common sense. But a lot of people don't seem to follo It must be difficult for someone to entertain the idea of partner after going through of losing someone or having a

relationship? Especially are kids involved. Without going in to all those circumstances, where say Rove, he has been say Rove, he has been grieving for quite a while, he have have had I'm sure had to address this.

been a terminal illness, there's a lot of adjusting goes death some some of that sorting out done. Where it's sudden, say in

Terri Irwin's case, she able to clean his room out, or the same message on the answer phone,

there. the calendar entries are still there. It's the sudden there. It's the sudden loss that devastates. In that case, the opportunity, sort of the that moving on and when you're ready. ready. It's not a question of the public expects, it's when the public expects, it's when your heart is ready. Are you from some pain takes time any couples that try to fast forward that, then they tend make big make big mistakes because they

really haven't restabilised enough to form a new party, a new entity and new party, a new entity and that makes for a makes for a lot of instability. saw Andrew Denton saw Andrew Denton interviewing Terri Irwin and she Terri Irwin and she said he had brought up the conversation to how much grief does to how much grief does she show in front of her children? She

saying that she felt important that she didn't show grief in front of her child grief in front of her children? is a tricky is a tricky one. I generally go with the with your kids. "I'm sad, I'm hap I'm upset but I

The kids see how you deal grieving. The her to be a her to be a rock because things have fallen apart in their

So she has to do her privately, that's what understand that. So every couple has got to do as fans, of some and well-known and well-known people, ought to give them the space to say they're doing it their own way. There might be whatever but they've got in their way, just as we would do. Certainly when involved, it's a very different story. Do the kids story. Do the kids think, "Mummy's bringing

bringing home a replacement daddy?" That's what happened if the

repartnering is too early and if there's still a going on. So the parent might be lonely and want company but the kids have got those memories and particularly if it's been a

nothing can ever replace this.

That's a really hard part That's a really hard part for the that. It does to that. It does mean that you've got to go gently and you've got to go gently and you've got to be thoughtful home rather than inside, they're not seeing territory

invaded by the other person, we still have fresh memories. sensible parent will read all this.

difference with someone dying or split up? A big difference. could feel a sense of relief if there's been a There's a lot of decision. "Who do we side with?" There's all these torn loyalties. Because much pain on both sides, are trying are trying to read Parents are trying to read both sides. Parents get caught up in this and it's very important that they it's very important that they don't get their kids

someone your own size if you've to do some leaning. Where it's a death, the grieving but the idial and wanting to hang -- idealising and wanting to hang on to that. It tends

deliberate thing because lot more sort of idealising and

grieving for that person. It's a very different story. To be honest, the outcomes where it's the death of a person, in terms of the well being and adjust want tends be a bit higher generally than where the kids where the kids have been torn from one to another and catching up. one to another and catching up. It might not be good. It might be painful but it's clearer. the roles and whatever But it's, where it's the sort of a loss of a partner to another person, or something, then the very, as you said, torn. if their a sole if their a sole child, together, the other seems to be more upset. the other seems to be more upset. I

don't know what your experience been but that's the way I found it. It's very important that parents take their time. And they don't to to sort of move quickly. For the new partner, they might have the best chemistry in the world but they defrauding the relationship because the kids haven't had time the kids haven't had time to restabilise. And the coming in on coming in on all unfinished business and it makes it really hard. The partner has to be special too coming parents has died, parents has died, you've got to understand that the still there with those inevitably going to

young. That's right. A lot of partners, read books like

after separation or something. There's a lot of good books around.

expectation expectation is that you're going to have but you have you're ready for that. Unless

you've worked through that and

and accept that is that life, vife, then you're going to feel very cheated and tend to find after death or whatever, that the biological parent will tend biological parent will tend to embrace and embrace and enfold those children as their own. They can overprotective which makes it very

difficult for the new come in. For the

come in. For the new partners, low

key, lots of time. Don't try take over and maybe take over and maybe something that's not written in many books, a fresh start, where we may actually move somewhere to where with the memories. Living in the same house and same bed. The same house and same bed. The same friends. Friends friends. Friends react differently too. experience. You better share it now. Some friends of ours - good morning - friends of ours who brok never really did get on with other one." Then they got together again. did it once with a marriage. engagement broke up, I said, "You've grown out of "You've grown out of them." Then they got married. Friends in terms of protecting the partners. of protecting the partners. It

makes it very hard. Take it easy, take it slowly and wait take it slowly and wait till you restabilise before you start up a new relationship because often you

don't untie the knot, when don't untie the knot, when you think you do, you just shift it.

And the knot is shifted in to everybody's tummy and tensi doesn't doesn't give it a fair chance. In doesn't give it a fair chance. In the case of Terri and so on, her grieving needs to be

Rove's style of managing be respected. I'm sure be respected. I'm sure Belinda would moving on and we they do, even though we're fans of theirs, theirs, give them the chance to sort it out their way. As

we're trying to do the thing they're the ones who have the most,

they've lost as much as we have, hopefully the outcome can be a good one. Let's Give them time to move on. Give them time to move on. Thank you, Dr John. Good you, Dr John. Good to see you. that whole body vibration machines are the latest things these days. she can inspire

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with the Olympics.

You may have seen Had before from Cam who is bonding with

David about their love of music. Get out. At least music. Get out. At least I have more than three CDs in

collection. Why would you want more

than ABBA, Bone M. I thought CA -- Cam was to David. He loud'. Sure. He's only human. baby boomers Putting off the retirement plans until

That's my kind of music. News time now. now. For the latest we're joined Natarsha. Morning. Bad news millions of home owners millions of home owners right around with the Reserve Bank raising official interest rates by quarter of a percent quarter of a percent to an 11-year high of 6.75%. The announcement

the the last election and the first- ever rate rise this close to ever rate rise this close to a

federal election. On a $200,000 home loan repayments are set to jump repayments are set to jump around $34 a month. We'll chat with financial expert financial expert about speculation the way and we'll speak with the way and we'll speak with Paul Bongiorno about what this means for the Government and out from the election. your your child's brain development. A new steady has identified a gene which leads children to have higher IQs if they're breast fed. study shows the gene helps down fatty acids from the diet which have been linked with development. more than from Britain and New Zealand. Celebrations are continuing this

Celebrations are continuing this morning Melbourne Cup win. The Cup day crowd was down on last Victorian racing officials are just pleased the race went ahead after the derve station of equine influenza. Late scratchings and horse flu have been blamed for lower figures than were tipping $160 million was to be bet on the Cup. to be bet on the Cup. Shame. I yesterday. Thanks. Wipe that yesterday. Thanks. Wipe that thing off your forehead. Wipe the big L loser! Last! We discussion discussion before with regard interest rates. Change the subject. change your vote or blame a Government if interest rates go up? I think this is really interesting because what I find very concerning is the last interest apparently according that had no effect that had no effect on consumer spending and there's speculation there will be more rate

around the corner. I think will around the corner. I think this will affect people's vote, will affect people's vote, I really do. And we've had just affected inflation. This is in the lead-up to Christmas when people really spend when people really spend with Christmas presents as well. Christmas presents as well. Exactly. Thank you so much. We'll see 11 We'll have plenty more of us after this. I think we can this. I think we can all Christmas year and just when we all over, the dreaded bills start Chrisco is with us this morning. right. Christmas not only puts strain be those shopping if you're with if you're with kids. It's enough to drive anyone crazy. solution to help make it easy shop for groceries and a solution that of thousands of Australian families. How does Chrisco work? really make Christmas magical. really make Christmas magical. You simply start by calling the number

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After the break, the new study of

baby boomers that's revealed to live

I sit up all night watching, waiting. You know, this fuel has powered me for hundreds of launches, but unlike Houston, we've never had a problem. They drive me up the wall,

OK, start your engines. ROBOTIC VOICE: Zero, ignition. ALARM BEEPS

Sounds like that band is still rehearsing. boomers have high expectations for their retirement and are well in to their A new survey has care industry will need a major overhaul to meet their requirements. The overhaul to meet their requirements. sector will have to think outside the box to advances needs. The author of the book us now. Good morning. Good morning. I'll try it again. The report

and I think it's an

a lot more focus and a lot more attention. We're very, very attention. We're very, very pleased to see the media interest getting at the moment. Are are they wanting to work longer because they want more money they working longer want to avoid going in to aged care facilities? I think

combination of things. I combination of things. I think we're seeing a whole change in patterns of behaviours from this group we're calling baby boomers and they're acting deferly we might have expected people to

have done in the past as they get in to their seeing over 1 in 4 people that they intend to keep on working that they intend to keep on working past 70 years. So going to see a lot of people staying in the work force, but perhaps differently. Perhaps reducing the amount of work they do and changing the type they do. These are some we need to think looking at things like accommodation and support se 8% don't want to go in to

retirement village? It's even higher than that, Kim. If you ask people what sort of way prefer to point when they point when they need some assistance, the vast majority, well over 93%, want to stay living in their services. of privacy

all passionately like. Why has it changed? You say they're approaching these approaching these things differently. Why differently. Why are they doing that? Well, I think one of things that we're this called the leading edge of baby boomers. People aged 58 boomers. People aged 58 to 61 at them, hundr There's thousands of them, them, hundreds of thousands of them? Absolutely. They're that bubble bubble that started after II and stopped when in. And they're in. And they're different in that they have a strong sense of expectation of what they should able to access. And that's what

seems to be driving this. It's compouned also by the increase in our greying We're very familiar with. Large numbers of

numbers of people are going to looking already the moment. One of the big issues, though, is that at though, is that at the moment in general we've got an all or general we've got an all or nothing approach to aged care People live independently until point where they need assistance, then they assistance, then they struggle and struggle and hang on tooth and nail and and then the next option available in most cases is a high facility. And there aren't many transition opportunities for people to models models of supported care. As you indicated, indicated, they go from living in their own environment, in a lot their own environment, in a lot of cases with their own pets which have

have been extremely important to them, them, and going in to that care facility. Because a huge persentage

important to them? Correct. At the

moment it's an area where I think it's the too-hard basket for a lot of aged of aged care facilities. Pets very sadly not allowed. And important people. Medically there is great evidence to suggest that evidence to suggest that it has all sortsnce to suggest that it has all sorts of positive effects on people's general state of well being. you suggesting the aged care

these expectations or are they just slow to do it? Um, I needs to be needs to be more stimulus for change. At the moment approach of building

facilities that provide high care. And perhaps less of an approach looking at what services we to remain in their to remain in their own homes and recognise their levels of care increasing. So, yes, support increasing. So, yes, and the support services that are available to people living in their are quite fragmented. They are quite fragmented. They can't be shared. So two or living in close proximity would find it very hard resources, of with say shopping or personal care or gardening or or gardening or something like that. We're not very well set-up at the moment to support people ideally. It's interesting

older people complain about the isolation or say isolation or say isolation is isolation or say isolation is such a tragic part of getting being on their own. don't want to go in to don't want to go in to aged care facilities. facilities really don't suit them at all and that the people building these facilities need to take these

sort of is a huge factor, Kim. One in five people

how actively they how actively they socialise, they describe themselves as a bit of

describe themselves as a bit of a loner. We think, combined financial hardship, that creates a very, very creates a very, very high at-risk group, who group, who are then suffering potentially potentially from diet, isolation, access to services. of things. There are some

other countries where people can living as part of a normal community. There are high rise apartments in apartments in Holland, for instance,

where people can access more and more support services as they frae support services as they get frailer and lose frailer and lose their mobility and their health declines, but they're still part of a normal community and they're not they're still able to access friends and family in close defiance with these baby boomers. My parents are in an retirement resort. They call it resort. And clearly these baby boomers are wanting to have a particular lifestyle and absolutely ahead ahead with ahead with it? Maybe the question is that when your parents reach stage what sort of options would then have? Is there something in that over50s retirement village? It is. Their care is able is. Their care is able to be graded which is fantastic. For them it was very important they took the burden off their children and made a decision to go in retirement resort themselves. Is that an issue, though? Are baby boomers aware of the pressure they're putting they're putting on their children in general? I think when we ask most most people, their preferences are very, very strongly to remain independent children. Sadly, I don't thi

many people have access to that

sort of support. want to make it on their own want to make it on their own terms rather than rely on must quickly ask you, the issue technology, a lot of these technology, a lot of these baby boomers aren't illiterate as thought and there's a

that has things like health and monitors and so on, which and monitors and so on, which would give them the opportunity independent access to the health care that require? Look, there fantastic opportunities technology is involved. sponsor this research deep interest in the applications

of technology. It can be as

somebody is opening or closing curtains or going to

opening the fridge. It can more an exercise bike cardiac condition and respiratory rate being local GP to keep an eye on them. At buden approach nursing homes where we have button you press when goes wrong, and there's so much more that could be done with great applications of technology. It's happening in pockets It's happening in pockets around Australia. Australia. There's so much more to talk about but we're out of talk about but we're out of time. Lovely to talk to you. Thank you. Thank you very much. Your emails

and a magical picture

A toddler in south-eastern Queensland the latest to need medical treatment after swallowing poisoned 'Bindeez' beads. The new research that shows why breast is best for your child's brain development.

And the Efficient party continues, after his surprise Melbourne Cup win. Details 11am.

We've got an email

We've got an email here. "My Mum has been missing since I was a little girl. I'm in my 30s but little girl. I'm in my 30s but that time hasn't made me When I was little it was hard is to be sad wondering why she wasn't there. When I was a teena I became angry at her for I became angry at her for leaving know what happened to never had help never had help available to me. It's hard to know

let go." The pain never goes away. It's time to announce the winner of "The camel's toe too far under the

wasn't sure whether he meant to say the camel's toes."

and keep eveiling us. Let us and keep eveiling us. Let us know what you think about the sh We'll be back after about new phone technology in our next guest. Hello, Georgia, from Telstra. thank-you for having me. You're here to talk about

because it lets you see the person on your mobile phone a face-to-face conversation? So it really becomes They see you, you see them. than having a chat on the phone? because you see each other. to family and loved ones. who live away from their grandkids?

That's a good example. moments in their lives more often. So you're part of those special the gaps in their teeth It sounds terrific!

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Just dial the usual number. to be on a road trip. the video call button instead. Simple as that. I can see that, Patricia.

You can see for yourself if I just It looks wonderful! And it's great to swap your work outfit for holiday clothes and see the country. Lovely talking to you, Patricia. You too, Maree-Anne. Bye. And easy.

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Just before the person arrived, she went person arrived, she went to Queensland. Everybody's used to snuggling up in cinemas And in taste of where

right here tucked away at

right here tucked away at the seaside Redcliffe is situated 30 drive north of Brisbane. It a range protected protected beaches and for its five minutes of fame was the first European settlement in Queensland. The Redcliffe picture palace specialises in

specialises in showing vintage movies to groups of And Some of old, aren't they? Yes, they are. What you're seeing is they're What you're seeing is they're all 16 millimetre projectors. them American. That's a German one. Australia during the war nobody wanted was the only film projector you could buy in America at the time. It came back here to Redcliffe. It's amazing how come? Certainly changed Particularly looking at a piece like this over here. I'm by this, so can you explain this to me. It's such a

me. It's such a quirky machine? It is dated from 1903 to was in Australia, we was in Australia, we believe with the limelight division of Salvation here and see old they? Every Sunday I run from they? Every Sunday I run from 1 o'clock to 4 o'clock and bus groups

during the week. Nearly all the film film I've purchased, film I've purchased, people who donate your film, it's donate your film, it's mostly well beyond use. Most of to buy Australian films. It's interesting time, I guess we take it for granted we can turn granted we can