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About Men -

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HEARTBEAT The moment a baby's gender is known, come into play. a whole set of expectations to grow and mature What does it take for a man in 21st century Australia? in 21st century Australia?

ENGINE REVS physicality and sex drive Competition, aggression, are only part of the equation. intelligence to survive and thrive. Boys and men must develop emotional Dave's Boxing Gym at Dulwich Hill, From the red corner, from Father Gary Ellisy. would you please welcome

of boys and young men Here we explore the lives of growing up male. as they grapple with the challenge of confusion nowadays I think there's a great deal it's all up for grabs. about male identity, of what it meant to be a man Maybe we had a well-defined sense

a couple of generations ago - and authority in the household. he's the breadwinner That's all been turned upside down. right from the beginning. Boys and girls behave differently, is both learned and genetic This legacy and continues throughout life.

are wired very differently, Even though their brains

is the same for both sexes. the school curriculum students will go inside All right, Year 9, the following as I call your name. so I want you to listen the more hands-on sort of stuff. I find a lot of boys tend to like

to enjoy written work They seem less inclined They prefer to do. or a lot of discussion-based work.

tomorrow is your science test. What we'll do today is, as you know, Girls tend to learn better they're working with their friends, in group situations or when or whether it be spoken. whether it be written more hands-on stuff. But boys, it's definitely like more physical subjects, At our school, a lot of boys or subjects like that. whether it be PE or manual arts Good teamwork, Eddie. Well done. Boys need to move. Good on you, Sammy B. Beautiful pass. Get them out of the classroom spatial awareness shines. and their superior Wait a second, good work, Tom.

They learn kinaesthetically, as important for, you know, so I think their football's as it is for their health. their maths and their English they're going. Let's start again. Nobody knows which way

to expend that energy. You really need boys to be able Where are the backs? useful way of doing that And football is a terribly we're so protected, because these days, we're so risk averse. to get knocked around. Kids are not allowed Mum's over protective.

but she won't let me I want to play football and she's worried that, and I was quite good at football or dislocate something. I don't know, I'd break an arm so she won't actually let me play. She has that constant fear,

to rumble and have fun Boys need to rumble, and being able that is safe yet aggressive, in an environment

is something very important for men. that sort of playful aggression, physical contact with each other Men need to be able to have that in a non-sexual way. Nice shot. a very liberating thing for men. So we find wrestling is and they can beat They can be straight

at the same time. but embrace each other UPBEAT MUSIC

testosterone floods their bodies. When boys hit puberty, The rapid physical and emotional changes can be overwhelming, The rapid physical and emotional on body image, sex and friendship. as they bring an intense new focus to under-perform at school Boys are much more likely than girls of the need for change. and there is a growing awareness At Deception Bay High School, the Rock and Water Program staff have introduced

reaching their full potential. tailor-made for boys who are not Can I have a text book please? controlling his temper. JJ has trouble the Rock and Water Course. He's volunteered to do I don't even know my planet. I find it hard to be good you're still chasing me, man. Whoa, man,

and swearing at you. Someone just calls you niggers your mum's this, your mum's that Your mum's a whore, and that just gets on your nerves. is when someone's calling me names The only time that I fight that's like the only time, or being nasty or hitting me, just go out there and hit people. but some of the time... I don't have a reason for it. Yeah. You've got to like he would get all tight up He gets angry in his room and he will never talk. and, you know, shut himself Sometimes I try to argue with her to have her way, but she's always got so I just let her do it her own way. in the fridge, too? You want to put this Wraith suffers from low self esteem. Like many teenage boys, No, Tyler, over to Wraith. for the Rock and Water Program. He has also signed up It's on your nose. a little more self control Well, I think it will give me yeah, gets me out of a few class and to enjoy myself a bit more and yeah, gets me out of a few classes.

of his body image. He's a lot self-conscious the whole carrying excess weight. He's very concerned about he's terribly capable of things There's times he doesn't think for forgetting stuff like he gets cranky with himself teenagers as much as anything else. but I mean, I think a lot of that's Team Leader, Kris, Over a period of ten weeks, boys through a series of exercises. will take JJ, Wraith and the other is a game that I like to call Chinese Boxing, okay?

develop self esteem, The course is designed to help them emotional intelligence and self control. The idea of this activity is to bash each other's hands as hard...

But even when there are male role models around the teenage years are still fraught. You can't pull their hair, you can't knee 'em in the groin. I got taught a lot When I was going to school, about how to get into university or into a trade or how to be successful in my career path, but not how to be a person. And because I didn't have very many stable role models, you know, the question came up all the time "What's a man? How do I become a man if I don't know what one is?" Ready? Go. Oh, I get a point, okay. All right, let's go again. Ready? All right, go. Oh, you cheated, oh! He pushed me, did you see? Rock and Water is really valuable because it gives people an option to think about "How do I become a real person?" Not just "How am I going to be successful?"

Okay, we'll call that, you win. It's no coincidence that the highest crime rate for boys is among 15 to 19 year olds. With testosterone increasing energy levels and aggression, boredom can lead to trouble. For Liam, hanging out with his mates at the local youth centre is a better option. Sorry, mate, I was having a lie down. I'll get a key, I'll be right with you.

When I got here I asked the people in the area,

what's the big problem here? They'd say, the kids have nothing to do after school which is why they're always into so much violence and petty crime. So we started the youth centre then and started with the martial arts and the fight training. The emphasis, naturally, the target group were young men. This is where the problems in our community is, mainly with blokes. It's blokes who are, um, you know, doing the drugs. It's blokes who are doing the crime and it's blokes who are suiciding. Adolescence is when boys and it's essential that they find an outlet for their restless energy. Yeah, it keeps you occupied. You have something to do. When you train five or six days a week, you know, it keeps you out of trouble and... You never trained six days a week in your life.

You'd be surprised. I would be. What was I saying? Then... Keepin' you occupied. Yeah, it keeps you occupied and keeps you always doing something. So you don't really have time to... Hang on the streets, get in trouble by the police, give you something to do. In three months, Liam will have his first public fight at a local club. Matched with a boy of the same weight, his courage and maturity will be put to the test.

I finished school at Dulwich Hill in Year 10. That was in 2005. And yeah, I've been looking for work, carpentry. If you don't need to bandage your hands, you don't know how to punch. That's the rule of thumb. No pun intended. Men, genetically have a need to fight. I think we're aggressive creatures by nature. The trick is not to repress that but to learn to control it and channel it in good directions. I think fight training can be a very helpful part of that process. We help people to take control of their aggressive instincts.

I think it's the failure to do that which is often why kids are sort of... the aggression's sprouting out in very violent and destructive ways.

But if we can teach them to control and channel,

yeah, we have a remarkable success rate. You should jab me before I can do that. Yeah, but it's a temporary solution. Once you learn what I'm doing, you'll gain confidence so I can't do it anymore. WOMAN: Have you got a good body from boxing? I don't know. I don't like to brag... but... I don't know. See what the girls say. Well, what do they say? They say "Next!"

Whether young men are having sex or not their surging hormones mean it's never far from their minds. With little control over how their bodies behave, most teenage boys will masturbate at least once a day. Jason lives at home with his parents. Like many young men, the car is an extension of his personality and soaks up all his spare cash. I first lost my virginity when I just turned 17, actually. It wasn't one of those heat of the moment things. I wasn't expecting it to happen and it did. I definitely don't regret it, that's for sure. I don't use my car as a chick magnet. That's not why I've spent the money, or why I've done the modifications. I've done them for me. If a girl likes my car and appreciates what I've done to it, sweet as, but... As a 15-year-old, you go off your instincts and your first impression, which is mainly looks. You see a great-looking girl, you hook up with her. A week later, oh, you find out what she's really like. As you get a bit older, you look well past looks. You go right into actually getting to know the girl well before any steps are taken. Back in high school, I was very shy. I did find it difficult to chat up a chick.

You see a good sort over there... it was painstaking to go over and actually talk to her. What if she says no, or doesn't like you? That's the end of the world. These days you just don't give a shit. You just do it, and if a girl says no, you've gotta get the attitude of "Her loss." a really underrated place to live. KRIS: Deception Bay, for me, is I really love living here and working here and there's no place in the world I'd rather be. For many years, Kris had no contact with his father. Mum and Dad split up when I was 18 months old.

We got to see Dad periodically and then as I got older, it got less and less. Being the eldest male, I didn't know whether I was supposed to be the father figure to my little brothers and sisters or whether I was supposed to just be one of them and I struggled with that a lot. At 16, Kris was a classic under-achiever.

Mid teens are a time when boys are most likely to drop out of school.

This was when Kris left home after a series of fights with his mum. Her and my little brother... were doing drugs on a casual basis. But Mum would have a drink and that sort of thing as well. I said that I wanted better than what I had and um, Mum kind of said "Not much chance of that happening" so I just decided that I wanted to get out of there and I left pretty much the next day. Secretly I think I wanted her to say "No, don't go". But... it didn't happen and that's life, I suppose. What's worth fighting for? What is so important, that you would fight for it? Yourself. Defending. How do you mean by "yourself"? Like, say... VOICE-OVER: I cut off from everything. I stopped playing football which was really important and big for me. And, you know, I stopped trying at school. I stopped socialising, you know. I would just put myself in my own little world where it was comfortable and safe, but nobody else was allowed in. And it became a lonely time. So, if there's a time that you ever need to defend yourself... People always find alternatives for the things that they lack in their lives and if an emotional kid can't be emotional then he's going to go the other way and become an angry person. Excellent, that's it.

They'll catch you, they've got you. Look at that, too easy. You're doing really good. Put your hands up. The majority of the kids that have come through the program, they have some issues with their family life in some way, whether it be, being a part of a single parent family or you know, an abusive scenario in their family or something that is impacting on them, not just in their family life but at school as well. Last time Wraith saw his father was back in 1996 when he was three. Unfortunately, as relationships do, his and I didn't work. In some ways I think Wraith's very lucky for it. There's only one lot of rules. In other ways, he misses out on having the male role model. Wraith... It'll come up after he's spent time with friends that have got fathers or friends that go and visit their dad for the weekend. I don't know, one day, I think, when he's ready, if he wants to contact his dad, I'll let him. Can I have a kiss? Love you too. You're gonna need to lock the door. Everybody still has this traditional role models, male and female, and he just doesn't see any of those boundary lines with me. If the lawn mower needs new blades, I'll put new blades on it. If... the sink gets blocked, I'll unblock it.

It's just all part and parcel of being on your own. Most single parent households are headed by women. There's no doubt that women can raise good men but boys still need male support to learn how to be a man. How are you going? Good. Good, good. It's about twenty past seven. Seth is a successful entrepreneur who can afford to send his son, Josh, to a private school. Mum and Dad have high expectations for my grades and how I do at school. I'm interested in being a lawyer, so I need to get the grades. So that's pretty much what I want to do. Josh is challenging his father's authority. This breaking away is an essential part of a boy's journey to independence.

It annoys me a lot 'cause he doesn't listen then that really bugs me and it pents up and it all comes out in an argument. We argue about tidying up the room, about getting my homework done now rather than later, um, putting books away, cleaning the dishwasher, emptying the dishwasher,

making the table, things like that. It reminds me a little bit like the lion pride where he's a young male coming up in the lion pride and I'm the dominant male in the household, and he wants to challenge me every once in a while. Have a good day. Love you. I love Josh very much. I enjoy his company most of the time but sometimes he drives me crazy. TENSE MUSIC The worst criticism that a boy could give another boy at this school is that, you know, you're a girl. And attached to that is all these feminine feelings and being emotional and that sort of thing. So hopefully through the program,

they can get to, well, it's okay to have those feelings and emotions and still be a real man.

Well, I'm not really solid. Like my life's been pretty full on. Like nothing's ever stayed still for a certain amount of time. KRIS: So how does that relate to the rock? Um, it's clear. You can kind of see through it. And well, the solid bit there, in the middle,

is like me here. It's like, I've stayed here for the longest amount of time. So, here in Deception Bay? - Yeah. Awesome. And how does that feel? - Pretty good. Pretty good, yeah, most definitely. KRIS: I suppose family is really important to me and spending so much time without my family... um, is something that really kind of aches a little bit. And, you know, I grew up being involved in a big family, so going from that to nothing is really hard sometimes. All right, going on Dad's shoulders? Yes, Daddy. Yeah. Right. Pick my coffee up. I think a fly's fallen in my coffee. A lot of our kids don't have dads in the picture. I think that's often a lot of the most violent and agro kids. It's partly because they haven't had that positive male avenue of... creative aggression. Up high, two. One. Okay, are we all ready? Line 'em up. One minute on the clock, I'll let you know at 30.

The most important thing I do is make sure we maintain a culture of positive male role models for the young boys. So our leaders, our other trainers and fitness trainers and that, they're good men, clean, straight-up-and-down sort of blokes. Weak as piss, mate. Come on, put some effort into it. There's very little respect for adult authority amongst young men in general. That's the same as when I was a teenager. We're suspicious of adult authority and I think that's probably because it's been abused.

It's part of Australian culture that we're suspicious of all authority

and probably for the same reason. But I do think, this is where the fight club is unique in a sense. It's the only place I know where we've got teenage boys and adult men working in an environment where the young guys have enormous respect for the older guys, and where the older guys nurture and support the young, exactly the way it ought to be. Around this age, parents need to step back and let a responsible man, outside the immediate family, mentor their son so he can find his place in the wider world. The trick, which they don't realise, when they get into the fight club, is they change peer groups. When you're going to be fighting someone in a couple of weeks' time who's trying to take your head off, your best mates become the people who train you, and people you're training with, instead of the guys who are making trouble out in the streets. TRAINER: Think about it. That's better. (Choir sings) # No more crying there We are going to see the King!

# Hallelujah! Hallelujah! We're going to see the King! # No more dying there. We are going to see the King! # Father of all, we give you thanks and praise that when we were still far off you met us and bought us home.

I had no idea what I was going to do. I thought I'd open a tobacconist and move down the coast... but, um, really, I don't think I had any direction in my life before my conversion. God has called you into his church, we therefore receive and welcome you as a fellow member... One of the great saving graces for me

is I'm about as hopeless as everybody else and I know that, and having been divorced and the rest of it, most people recognise that too, and that's pretty helpful, frankly. I don't pretend to be better than anyone else. I have the same struggles as the other blokes around here. I've found fighting and praying works for me as a combination.

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We're just getting our cars washed for tonight and then we're going to head out. We're thinking about meeting down at KK's, Liverpool, around 9-ish. You cool for that? Oh, you're cleaning your car? That's what we're doing as well. Every Friday night, Jason and his mates check out each other's cars. His best friend, Luke, is president of the car club they belong to. I like to make it, at least, look a little pretty. Make it look neat, you can't have dirty hand prints on the doors

I hate having dirty windows as well. Luke is one of the nicest people I've ever met. You know, I wouldn't be best mates with him unless he was like that. he's always there for his mates, he's like a very social person. Everyone knows him, and as a mate, he's just... he's a brilliant mate to have. At this age, young men love to live on the edge but need to find controlled ways of taking risks. UPBEAT MUSIC AND CARS REVVING If you're driving along like we are and someone comes up beside you you can pretty much look across and you can tell, that car's got aftermarket wheels, front mount intercooler,

big exhaust yep, have a look, get a bit of eye contact, yeah, it's on. CARS REV AND TYRES SCREECH On the streets, these boys like to make a lot of noise as they take off from the traffic lights but they restrict the real speeding to club meets at the drag track. We're doing 70, we're on the speed limit, it's fine. There's not a thing to worry about because we're all out here doing as close to the right thing as we possibly can. Some chicks love what Dan and that do to their cars. Some don't mind mine. One man's meat's another man's poison.

Some people like some stuff... These guys love their cars. I love mine. It's what you like, what you do. As long as you can appreciate everybody else's cars, life's good. It's not my style. Yeah, we'll do a run up the Great Western, head up to Penrith. See you, buddy. Bye. TYRES SCREECH

At the moment, I'm quicker and he's got more power. Not for long. For both of us. We find out when we go to the runs. We're our fiercest competition. I like to park my car in a car park and it disappears, whereas Jase's stands right out. I gotta be the centre of attention. Exactly. I like to choose when I'm the centre of attention. I don't think that thing can. I try and cook a mean barbecue. If there's ever a barbecue to be cooked at home, that's my job. Mates and romance are a tricky combination. Luke and Jason's friendship nearly came unstuck over a girlfriend. My previous relationship, it was a bit hit and miss, because whenever I saw him, I'd see other... it'd be a big group thing, and, you know...

My girlfriend clashed with a few people, and I took her side, and it sort of... Well, at least, that's all in the past now. At first, the relationship was good, I just went out and did my own thing, and slowly but surely I just... stopped doing those sorts of things until I woke up and realised "Oh, (beep), I'm under the thumb." (Laughs) "I'm up shit creek here!" The fights between Josh and his dad have been getting worse. To get some help, they've enlisted the services of a life coach. It's not that I don't do chores. I don't think it needs Like do the dishwasher now as opposed to in a few hours. Dad will say "Do it now" and if I ask why, he'll say "Because I like it done that way," which really annoys me and is usually what causes the argument. How does that make you feel if he doesn't listen or compromise? Angry. And what do you do with the anger? I don't know, talk back, get a little rude. With Collin, I kind of respect him more than I would my mum or dad. There's no, like, real grudges or anything against him.

It's much easier to communicate with him than with my parents.

I'm cooking chocolate fudge brownies with walnuts in them. Do you have the salt out, Dad? There's no salt out. Seth and Stephanie are also changing the way they deal with Josh's behaviour. they'll take away something, they'll take away someth Their latest thing is so X-Box controllers, and then if it keeps going, the internet. They took away my internet for two months because I kept playing on it, talking on the internet, instead of doing homework. This combination of an outside mentor and the new structure has been reaping dividends. He always feels like we gang up on him now, because we are so much in unison. when we're having these arguments He says "You never take my view, you're always taking Mum's view. "I wish you would agree with my opinion once." They still fight but not as often and it's not nearly as stressful. Then, you know, after it's happened, normally there's an apology and it doesn't drag on as long. A very large majority of the time we get along very well. It's only occasionally that we get in arguments. And, I guess, I'm hoping that we won't get in arguments as often or over small things, like we do. Um, yeah, that would be good. UPBEAT MUSIC

JJ... (Breathes deeply) It's six weeks into the Rock and Water Course and JJ is mastering self control. Put pressure on him. I talk a lot about being in control of yourself, being grounded, centred and focused. If you can't stand strong, you can't be in control, so they go hand in hand. So that's one of the biggest things. It comes back to not losing control, because when you lose control, that's when you get angry. I don't think I've ever seen an angry person in control. So, yeah, staying in control of yourself is really important. For those of you who haven't used these harnesses before,

the black harnesses are bigger, the blue ones are smaller. Teenage boys need to push boundaries and engage in risk-taking behaviour to learn what they are capable of. In controlled situations, they can get a sense of their potential without risking their safety. Yeah, that's it. You can do the other one, eh? Come on, JJ, you can do it. ATMOSPHERIC MUSIC See what you want to do, and do it, just like before. Good one.

(Shrieks) Woooo! Yeah! Woohooo!

Cool, fun.

Coming up in SBS World News Australia at 9:30 - SONG: # Sarah's connected to a Qantas flight # She's off to L.A. on Monday night. # Are you a BigPond member? With BigPond Home Broadband, everyone can be online at the same time for under $1 a day for the first 12 months with our half-price access offer. And, best of all, if you use more than your download limit, we won't charge you for it. Call 1800 Broadband. # Dem homes Dem BigPond homes. # Looks tough, actually isn't that hard but if you want to show off, this is a good way, and you can go left or right a bit, beautiful. Liam is still looking for work. With his first fight only three weeks away, a win would be a real boost to his self confidence. Right? Ready, set, go! You get sick of doing the same thing every day, you know, and getting nothing in return, so may as well just work and get some money. Then you can do what you want then.

The boys are trying to work off their hangover, I bet. You got any credit? Most of the kids I'm dealing with here are born in Australia and I think where the cultural differences tend to end up is where there's border issues in society. We have a lot of Lebanese kids we train, for instance, and when we had those riot situations a while back, we had one of our young boys saying "Let the Lebs get their revenge!" And we're saying "For what?" And he didn't know. "Just let them get... " So you get this sort of thing coming in from outside but the beauty of it is, he's able to express those sentiments in a context where he's surrounded by mates who are close mates that he fights with and trains with

and who will support him in the ring. Those blokes are Aboriginal kids, white kids, Islander kids,

uh, Vietnamese kids... The bond between us, in the club, is very powerful. And it really starts to balance that out.

FUNKY BASS MUSIC I am looking for a new girlfriend now. It's been long enough since my last relationship. It's time to move on and get a new relationship. I do miss the companionship. You know, good relationship or a bad relationship or anything in between, it's nice to have that... to have that companionship.

I am a little worried that I may be bossed around again so I'll be very much on guard this time in my next relationship and try my best to put down some ground rules from the start. It's not as easy as you think just to go out and snap up a girl. It's easy to go and snap up maybe a one-night stand, you know,

or a quick little fling here and there but I'm 23 years old, I'm over it. I am just over playing stupid little childish games, just trying to, you know, catch a root here or there. No, I'm just so far over that. I just really want to settle down with someone. Now's the time to be looking for that, Mrs Right, so to speak. KRIS: JJ, on a scale of one to ten, how much do you trust these guys? Zero. Doughnut! So we've got some work to do. What do we need to do to help JJ feel more comfortable? Tell him, tell him. Tell him, yeah. We're gonna catch you, JJ. Ready to fall. BOYS: Ready to catch. Here I go. Falling. Falling! Excellent! Whoa! Okay, put his feet down. Don't let go yet! Okay, give him a clap, please. JJ, did your trust go up, down, or stay the same? It went up to 3. From a doughnut to 3. Awesome. Ready to fall. BOYS: Ready to catch. Falling. Head first. Yeah, good, good, good, good. Well done. Excellent. Wraith came out of his shell in the last couple of weeks. He seems a lot more confident and a lot more easygoing, I suppose. At the start of the program, he was fairly quiet and kept to himself. He's certainly more forthcoming with his information and his communication and that sort of thing.

A couple more. A couple more. Most of the time I'd like to think that he's a very independent child and he has the capability of doing pretty much anything on his own but then other times I think I still need to loosen the strings a bit. Huh? What did you do? Hit my leg. Mmm, I noticed. But yeah, I think, I think overall, he's doing pretty good.

He's changed a lot. I don't know if he was growing up or what is going on at the school, but he's changed, you know, a lot. A lot, he's grown up. Yeah. The Rock and Water classes, man, oh, they're the bomb, eh. They actually teach me a lot now and they actually, yeah, help me. Oh, it's excellent now, eh. Now I understand what to do and not to do. Oh man, it's good. Good. Would you like your piece of timber now? Yes, please. Okay. Allen, come on out, sir.

Tonight, the Rock and Water boys face their biggest challenge. That's your piece of timber, sir. Take it back, put it in front of you. The timber breaking is a symbolic breaking through to a new level of emotional maturity. KRIS: Timber breaking's about dealing with pressure and being just the right amount of confidence, not over confident and not under confident. Being focused and achieving really what you wanted to achieve. What I want you to think about

is the most important thing in your life that you want to break through or achieve. Write it on your piece of timber, what you want to achieve or what you want to break through. But also timber breaking, maybe more importantly, is about what's written on that piece of timber

as opposed to the piece of timber itself. but still confident. but still confident. I'm a bit nervous Excited. Yeah, looking forward to it. Yeah. Tonight is Liam's big fight. His friends have come from all over Sydney to support him. I'm feeling a bit, you know... nervous but excited and pumped at the same time, so it will be good. What is it? 98? Sign here, mate. After months of preparation, it's time to demonstrate his physical prowess and sheer cunning in this controlled right of passage. I just think it's like some ancient initiation ceremony, where the men of the village sort of take the young lads out and put them in the jungle and you survive a week there and you come back and then you're a man. Win, lose or draw is not the issue. But showing you've got the courage to stay on your feet and the focus to try and defend yourself for three rounds... It's brilliant. If you can do that, hey, you can do anything. If he comes out all guns blazing, let him, don't get sucked in. Then it's your turn, right?

You don't know you're a south paw. That's a fucking doodle! BELL RINGS CROWD CHEERS Come on, Liam. BELL RINGS CROWD CHEERS & APPLAUDS Kids who are fighting in the ring are not fighting in the streets. We want to teach young men, don't deny your aggressive instincts, they're there for a good purpose. You need to learn to fight for things worth fighting for. Stand up for what you believe in. We need build this country into something with more integrity. First position to the blue corner, Liam Holme. CROWD CHEERS (Kris whispers) What's your goal, sir? On your knees, please. On your knees, please. What's your goal, sir? What did you write? Get a good relationship for Mum and Dad and my brother and Dad. How important is that to you? Really important. If that's important enough to you then that will give you strength. You'll have no problems breaking the timber. That needs to be your focus. You need to want that bad enough to break your timber. Remember, it needs to come from your centre. This came from your centre. When you feel like you are in control of yourself,

make a rock hard fist over your piece of timber. Up. One. Breathe out on the way down. Perfect. Up. Two. This time with a nice loud 'kiai', as loud and hard as you can, don't stop till your hand hits the ground. Up. Three! Give him a clap, please. APPLAUSE I want to meet my dad. How important is that? Really important. I can understand that. If that's important enough to you, that needs to be your strength and that needs to be your focus. If you want it bad enough, you'll have no problem breaking the timber.

But that needs to be what you need to be thinking about, okay? Can you do that? Are you in control? Absolutely. Ready? This time with a nice loud kiai, as loud and hard as you can, don't stop till your hand hits the ground. Up. Three! APPLAUSE

Up. Three! Give him a clap, please. Well done, mate. Very good.

Up. Three! What I've written on my timber is I want to bring mine and my brother's relationship back again and stop fighting and arguing. I want to become skinny before I reach 20. Get into the Army in the future, after school, and get a good family in the future as well.

Get a good relationship with Mum and Dad and my brother. I just want to meet my dad. I haven't met him since I was three. So I don't really know him.

Boys clearly need fathers, or father figures, as they grow up. The search for identity and a sense of belonging continues throughout life but with the right tools and support, boys will mature into healthy, productive men. I've now got a new girlfriend which is a big shock to myself and everyone I know. I was lucky enough just to be at the right place at the right time and one of my mates brought another mate of his along and she happened to be a pretty good sort, so we started chatting. I saw him, knew I liked him,

thought I'd call him, and that was it. Thanks, babe. I was nice enough to answer the phone. Give us a pash, babe. We got to know each other very quickly. We were just talking every night for a couple of hours. When I took her out for dinner we just hit it off straight away. Do we drink it or just look at it? You got a marshmallow! Do you want my marshmallow? No. I don't want it anymore. Have it.

She's upfront, there's no bullshit in the relationship. Thanks, hon.

I would say she's Mrs Right Now. to be Mrs Right, Uh, she's got the potential but that's a long way down the track. Captions (c) SBS Australia 2008 This program is captioned live.

Green groups up in arms after the Environment Minister gives the go-ahead to the Gorgon gas project. A cloud over scores of Australian military trials, after a landmark High Court ruling. Americans mourn the death of the last Kennedy brother, Ted, after battling a brain tumour. And a big challenge for Russia's president - curtailing the country's taste for vodka. Hi. Ben Fajzullin with SBS World News Australia. Green groups have slammed Environment Minister Peter Garrett's decision to approve the multibillion-dollar Gorgon gas project. It'll be built on Barrow Island, off the coast of Western Australia. The island's home to over 20 endangered species, which environmentalists say will be put at risk. Initial work could begin before Christmas, if final investment is approved by the three joint venture partners, Chevron, ExxonMobil and Shell. After the fanfare surrounding the $50 billion trade deal, today's green light from the Environment Minister was hardly a surprise. I've considered it very carefully. I don't believe that there will be unacceptable impacts and as a consequence of that, I've made my decision today. He's attached 28 extra conditions and says he's satisfied that the environment - and endangered species such as the flatback turtle - will be properly protected. The project operator, Chevron, says it can adhere to those conditions, and that as a result, thousands will be employed by the end of next year. But the Greens call it an appalling decision.