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Hey Hey It's Saturday -

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(generated from captions) This program is captioned live. And

now the segment which proves that

the great maker has nobody checking

the products as it comes off the

assembly line, Australia's

favourite theme park presents Red


I know the - I know what that was -

I'll come back to that. I think I

know what that was but I'm not to

say it straightaway. I want to

introduce someone who we're very

pleased to have on the show and I

think you all know and love him.

Political aspirations. Well, some

might say he should run might say he should run and keep

going, Red Symons! (crowd boos)

Thank you very much. Very much.

Thank you for nothing. Well, there

you give a man an entrance and look

- feel the love in the room, Daryl.

You can feel the love in the room.

Following in the foot steps of red

mond with a completely different

Minogue. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE. reaction, the beautiful Kylie


Fabulous. What a beautiful dress.


Thank you. Thank you. We're eight

minutes late but really I mean it's

the last one for a few months so I

think we'll have to live with it

for a moment. For a lot of people

who have not seen Entourage it's a

very funny series. It's a wonderful

series and the man who plays the

assistant to Ari, who was the agent

in this wonderful series, his name

is Lloyd in the series, Red Lee is

his -- recks Lee is his little name

but let's have a look at a few

seconds of a scene featuring our

next guest rex Lee.

next guest rex Lee. I'm mad because

we ignored each other. Are Are we

not in a meeting? I don't like your

tone. Do you have any plan to

promote me? I hadn't even thought

about it. Well you need to. Ari,

promote meer I'm leaving you. He's

Lee! leaving him and coming to us rex



to ask you, are you - have you been

surprised at the reaction in

Australia about Entourage? I have.

I have lived with myself for a

really long time and I don't take

myself very seriously. So when

people are, you know, express their

appreciation of me. It's nice. I

like it Well there's a huge

following for Australia in the show

I can tell you that now. Awesome. I

love that. You love that. And we -

we asked both political leaders of

the parties we asked our PM and she

gracefully declined the offer to be

on our show this evening but we do

have the Opposition leader Tony


Tony, firstly I have to ask ask,

you have the most incredible

stamina of anyone I know. This

morning - I get up early and I was

looking at the news and there you

were in the pitch black on your

bike riding somewhere in Queensland

I think. I just couldn't sleep,

Daryl. Well, this happens every day

you have to get up so early and the

days are incredibly plopbg and here

you are in here and hopefully you

can put politics aside for the

moment and just enjoy. We have four

acts. You've got some nice people

sitting next to you, apart from red.

And we hope that you will just - do

you have any gigs after this you

have to rush off to other

functions? No No, nothing You're

the leaders of Opposition, huh?

Alright, Dickie. Alright. Oh, dear.

(APPLAUSE). We jump in to act 1 on

the show and it's out of 10. Simple

texter on the card out of 10. Act 1

Chatalotalittle. is from Melbourne. And it's Loretta

Chatalotalittle. Performing with herself.

G'day I'm from the country. I don't

get out much.

(Sings) # I asked my mummy to help

me. She looked at me real funny and.

(Sings) # But she found a family

bible and the place where it was

writ, the family of my family tree

they creek a little bit. (Sings) #

Cause my uncle is my brother and my

cousin is my dad. (Sings) # My

aunty is a sister to my other

sister. (Sings) # My mum, she said

I'm the only one to have, my

instead. brother is my sister's father's son

I would have loved a bit more of

that. -- of that. G'day But when he

picks it up there's nothing he can.

I know. Daryl with his gonger gong,

if he ever knew. You know what he's

like. I do. Hey, Daryl, are you

real? I'm just asking because my

brother reckon us you're unreal and

my nanna reckons you live in the

telly but I reckon you're real Well,

I am real. He's real Thank you for

asking. I win! I win! And ki do it

again, you know. Oh. My question to

you, do you think you'll score? Oh,

with the boys in the crowd, yeah, I

to reckon later. I wouldn't push you

to argue. Tony, what did you think

of Loretta Chatalotalittle? I quite

liked the Julia Gillard accent.

We're seeing monitor they've

flicked the worm up there. It's a

five out of 10. What did you think,

red? -- rex?, I thought your red? -- rex?, I thought your eye

shadow was the second most fabulous

thing I have seen tonight behind

Kylie Minogue and I love any song

about the closeness of families. I

gave you a six. Lovely. So far, 11.

That's very good. So. Yeah, thank

you for sharing that touching story.

I gave you seven. CHEERING AND

APPLAUSE. You? You're going up. You

have a five from Tony, six from rex,

a seven from Kylie. I know. It's

gonna get good from here, hey. Well,

we can only hope. I would have

loved to have given you a bigger

score but we were just running out

of time. Yeah, a two! You're happy

with that? I am. I told you I don't

in get out much. Well. That's put you

in the lead. So just - Wow! Cool

Thank you very much, Loretta.

Charming girl. Now, the hiker is

about two. The hiker from Adelaide.

I have to tell you, he is an ofrbgr

OK toe general air yin. Eight OK toe general air yin. Eight tent

councils? Let's make him

the hiker. councils? Let's make hzTT= %9 5

Oh, that one there, thank you,

Daryl. They said to me, they said,

take up this hiking lark. Lit do

you good. Keep you fit. Keep me

fit? It's wearing me out. All last

week I was stiff as a board down

this side. This week I've had it

all down this side. Mind you I'm

looking forward to next week. I am

88, you know. I would have been 9

but my father was shy. He was a

grand laugh really. Hi he'd do

anything for a laugh he would. We

once went to a party at a big house

in the country and he went upstairs,

took Offenbach his clothes and side

down the banster yodling. He didn't

mean to yodle but there was all

these brass stud sz on top of the a

rail. He was a widower up at 2took

up with a 19-year-old girl. She

said, "I want a baby." So he went

to a see a doctor. "Doctor, how do

I stand?" And the doctor said it's

a miracle. He said, "I took up with

this 19-year-old girl. She wants a

baby. What shall I do?" baby. What shall I do?" He said,

"Take my advice, get yourself a

lodgeer." Six months later he's at

the doctor. Hey, doctor it worked.

She's having a baby. You took my

advice, you got yourself a lodgeer,

I did, I did, and I think she's having one as well. Sorry,

Sorry, that's too loud for you.

That was lovely, thank you very

much. Thank you. Could I annoy and

impose on you, would you say hello

to my two grandchildren, my two

grant son who is are listening,

Christopher and Daniel. Christopher

and Daniel, a big, big hello from

me. What a charming day and lady.

Thank you. Always the calm before the storm.

the storm. No, that's quite alright.

Now, Tony, what about this

wonderful, wonderful man? Could he

be out there with you doing support

act or something? Well, he's

funnier than I am but I'm not sure

he could keep up on the bike but

well done. That's a great effort.

It's a six. Six out of ten. Rex. It's a six. Six out of ten. Rex.

Sir, I gave you a seven for being

funnier than Tony Abbott. CHEERING


That's a score of 13. What were you

hoping for when you thought, "I'm

going on Red Faces." Just to come

here for the pleasure because

Channel Nine treats us like VIPs

and it's really niels to come. I

don't care what happens. We didn't

get that So far you could get your

own show the way you're going.

Kylie. You're 88? 80? I'm only 88

in that. In the routine you're 88.

Oh, real I give you an eight, going

with the theme. Thank you. Oh,

there you are. We're

there you are. We're going up. The

same thing before - six, seven,

eight. And now, drum roll. I've

actually got a message for

Christopher and Daniel. Stop

wasting our time. We're trying to

do a television show. It's a three.

Still a good score. 24. You're in

front. Well done. 'I'll Be There'

he goes. Ask Kylie a favour. Go, go. he goes. Ask Kylie a favour. Go, go.

We're going to take a break before

we get forgot -- get to the next

two red face acts. There's a bit of

set up needed for the next act.

You'll know what I mean after the

break. You're watching Red Faces.

We're halfway through. We're going

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This program is captioned live.

Welcome back to Red Faces! The

other bit, part 2. Take 1. Judging

panel for part 2 of Red Faces, the

Opposition leader Tony Abbott, we

have rex Lee from Entourage, and by

the way that was the Entourage, TT= %9 5 wasn't snit

wasn't snit that was for - yeah. Played earlier in

Played earlier in the theme. Daryl.

I just - you asked me hoi was

responding to the preepgs of

Australians every where. And I

bought a gift for everyone in the

audience, dVDs. CHEERING AND

APPLAUSE. Entourage Is that ha

whole season? Live! How many on

there? Oh. Yeah,

there? Oh. Yeah, thought I'd bag

one here. You won't be doing

anything more now. Once you get

hooked on the show. Please watch it

and feel the love emanating from me.

That especially applies to you. By

the way, Mr Abbott, the Liberal

party has elect med to run your

campaign. I'd like to thank you for

your cooperation, you and Kylie

your cooperation, you and Kylie a

Come on! Don't give up! You can do

it! Come on, pip! CHEERING AND

APPLAUSE Give her a big round of

applause. OK. Now, let's see what

this one can do! OK. OK, Brutus.

Let's see what you got. Go! Brutus,

please! Oh, he can do a trick.

Isn't he wonderful? Come on Brutus!

You can do it! Give him a big round

of applause.

We dare not frighten We dare not frighten our doggy

friends. Please, step forward.

Peter. How long have you been

training these two beautiful dogs?

They're only young. She's one and

she's four. Easy to train? The hard

bit is getting the right dog. Don't

know what's funnier, the dogs of

his voice. It's getting the right

dog, sit? Yeah That's the important

thing. Let's hope you got the right

dog and you get the right score dog and you get the right score

from Tony. Well, look, I love

animals. Seven. It's a seven. Rex.

I love men and I love animals.


keep going - I don't know what it

is. We keep going one higher each

time we do a score. Kylie. How can

I add to that? You love me. I I add to that? You love me. I love

men and animals and Dickie. Eight.

Eight. (APPLAUSE) So funny. No, no.

No. Come on, we're waiting for it.

Red. I was just thinking that is a

genuine real legit act. A a real

skill. Let's be honest. You don't

really belong here, do you? A nine! really belong here, do you? A nine!

A nine! That's incredible. That is

a score of 32. 32, talk about put

the pressure on the last act. Now,

over the break we're still going to

be wanting people to be on red. If

you'd like to be on Red Faces just

- Yes. Simply do this. Whenever you

are in Australia :

You saw them. Picking up our carpet.

Unstained by the way. Act four. Oh,

la, la, that's the name of the act

by the way. Twinkle twinkle little

star. Oh, how wonderful afplt the

name of the act and the ages - well

I'll tell you the ages of the I'll tell you the ages of the act

later but let's welcome, oh, la, la.

One two, three. (Sings) # Twinkle,

twinkle little star. This is boring.

Hay girls how about we rock it out?

Yeah, let's rock it out. Didn't we have these blokes on last have these blokes on last week?

(Sings) # Wild thing. You make my

heart sing. You make everything

groovey. Wild thing.

(Sings) # Wild thing, I think I

love you. (Sings) # But I wanna

know for sure. (Sings) # Come on,

and hold me tight. (Sings) # I love you.

(Sings) # Wild thing.

(Sings) # Wild thing. Come down

here, girls. (audience: Boos). Well,

that was very loufpltd that was

very loud, but you were very good.

Just move forward a little or I'll

break my neck. Come forward girls,

now, have you been together a long

time singing? Yes What's a long

time in your language? Is it like weeks

weeks or months or years? You have

no idea and it doesn't really

matter. Come on girls, quickly,

because uncle Daryl's artrie tus is

about to kick in. Thank you. I

should have wore knee pads,

shouldn't I? Lovely to have on. Do

you have any other numbers you sing

together? No. No there and a yes

there. Tony, did you - did you

actually enjoy the girls in that?

Look, I loved them and I think

Kylie you've got some competition.

It's a score of eight. That's an

eight. Score of eight. Are you

happy with a score of eight. That's

a big score out of 10. Can you

count to 10? Yes. You can. Easy. Go

on you count to 10 for me. 1, on you count to 10 for me. 1, 2, 3,

4, 5, 6, 7,, 9, 10. Talk about

aggress ifr. Rex. Ladies I didn't aggress ifr. ReDECODING

know what I was going to think but

I'm inspired to love you as much as

men and dogs. Oh, dear. Now, have

you - have you got Kylie's - some

of Kylie's records? Do you sing along

along any Kylie songs that you

sing? Yes. What - Wow. I don't know.

I do. You do? For the moment you

don't have to. We'll get a score

from aunty Kylie is going to give

you a score. I can't give a score

until I know the answer to the

question. OK. The answer to the

question. Do you know any Kylie

songs? Yes. Yes. You should be so

lucky. OK, that's good enough.

Girls, you look absolutely gorgeous.

-- gorgeous. You look so pretty.

I'm especially loving the glitter

in the hair. I gave you an eight.

(APPLAUSE) And now - and now - what

score would you like to get from uncle red? Would

uncle red? Would you like a 10? Yes,

10. Lots is the answer. We have a

little drum roll. And now red has

the worm up against him and it's

going down hill for him there. Now,

I know you know your numbers but

you probably don't know your A, B,

c yet do you. Yes, we do Yes, unkel,

red mond we know. I red mond we know. I thought you

were very, very good. I think

you've got a very big future. I

really loved your singing. And I

like you a lot, too. (audience

(audience boos) Girls, come here,

girls. Come here. I just want to

say that we all thought you did

very, very well. You were

absolutely wonderful. And we want

you to keep performing together

cause you are really, really good.

And any moment now someone's going

to give the envelope that I will -

thank you, red mond. We have the

envelope here. You scored a total

score of 25. That means score of 25. That means you

actually came second. Second prize

on this show is 1,000 dollars. From

my fun, Australia's greatest theme

park. How is that? 1,000. Now,

which one of you would like to keep

the money? Me. You're going to use

it on costumes. That goes over to

you then the keeper of the money.

We'd like to give first prize. And

braces. First prize of 2,000

dollars to, drum roll, circus dogs!


are, Peter. Congratulations. And

another drum roll, third prize. Is,


That's for you. And fourth prize,

of course, we don't need a drum

roll for fourth prize. Loretta

Chatalotalittle. Whatever it was.

It used to be hyphen ateed but mum

koupbltd spell hyphen aitd. Thank

you very much. Well, you were all

wonderful and we'd like to thank

Tony Abbott for joining us on the

panel. Thank you. Good luck to you.

panel. Thank you. Good luck to you.

But the wonderful Kylie Minogue and

red Symons and rex Lee. We're back

with a big competition after the break.