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Rove -

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(generated from captions) Things were falling apart all

around the world. The stock market

had crashed, hurricane Iraq was

going crazy and they'd just

releaseed to worst book ever, but

spring was in the air and even

better it was nearly my birthday.

People came out in droves to begin

the week long sell braigs. They

love me and everyone was having a

great time. Anyone who doesn't get

me a present is going straight to

the big house. Ki do that. And even

better, Dr unpopular had finally

lost. One minute he was crying the

next he was laughing. In a pathetic

attempt to spoil my birthday he

tried to kill me with a crocodile.

He was so unpopular the croc ate

him. Things couldn't have been

birth day. There was a new villain

on the scene, the silver tail and

he was moving in on my territory.

He had grey hair, handsome and even

richer than my bief. But I couldn't

worry about him. As part of my

birthday celebrationings I was set

to aappear on my favourite variety

hour, Rove. I said, don't worry. It

gets bigger. So I asked swany to

help me release. I'll be Robbie and

you be me. Great I'll get the

hats.? What hats. Swan didn't know

what the hell he was talking about.

Back in the days when I was a

touring comic. Do the one about the

(bleep) and the (bleep) (bleep).

I'd forgotten about that one. This

show'll be off the hook. Dene show'll be off the hook. Dene

Halatau. Please welcome the man

Kevin himself, Prime Minister curd. - himself, Prime Minister curd. -

You're a busy man. That looked

truly horrible So weird you sound

different in real life. When you do

those funny hat spots, - shots you

go into factory and wear hair go into factory and wear hair nets,

I have never seen one politician

looking faintly Sean. When we see

footage of you in a funny hat, it's

just tick. Gold. Obviously it's

been almost 12 months since we had

you on the show last time, even of

the election, vying for Prime

Minister we had you on. How did

that all work out for you? Well,

there was an election 24th November

last year. Yep. And the Australian

people got together and they

basically decided - yeah, let's

have a change. Yeah! You weren't

watching at the time?? Kind of slip

bid the radar. Did the hourds leave bid the radar. Did the hourds leave any interesting presents at the

lodge for you? They were very

gracious. How long did it take to

get the old man stink out of the

place, seriously? Actually we sat

down and had a nice cup of - cup of

teefplt we went round to the lodge,

Mr And murs Howard were there. We

discussed what worked and didn't

work in terms of the house, the

plumbing That's exactly what my

previous question was about. No, it

wasn't And ofbg happy birthday to

you. Today. Am I allowed to ask how

old? Yeah, I just turned 28. You've

got a beautiful baby face. 38. What

did you do today? Do you get to

celebrate? I saw the number before,

you did the marlin money row affect.

Yeah. You should stick to your day

job. I don't know what that is.

Have you tried that rue deen teen

over the great with the breeze

going? Well, I would for you. You

seriously worry me sometimes. So

what did you do this morning? Do

you get to celebrate the birthday

as Prime Minister? We have a family

ritual which goes back. We get

together, I stagger out of bed.

Teraiz gets a cup of tea. The other

kids pile on the other end of the

bed and then we was presents,

urgely with cat and dog present as

well. Yes, ofpblg. But today was

different because we had Jessica,

our oldest, who got married last

year, who was on the phone from

London, so we do it sort of

interactively. That's the future.

We were talking to her and Scott

tonight What did you get as a

present? When your dad's Prime

Minister what did you get? I got

this great set of - I thought it

was pretty dag gi. All the members

ofts family are going, whose was

it? There's Marcus over there. He

gave me this one. My 14 year old

gave me a set of two tea towels.

Why tea towels? I mean, age ever

gave tea towels to my mum after she

turned 65. Why am I geting tea

towels now? These tea towels have

been produced by crikey.com of the

cat and dog. Ab by is a golden cat and dog. Ab by is a golden

retriever, she's very nice, loving

and caring and welcoming. And it's

ab by saying something nice about

scones and - jas per the cat has

serious attitude. As cats do. Like

serious like angry attitude and jas

per was saying bad things. I won't

say exactly what. Obviously cause -

I thought I should get you

something the show should get you

something. You hie think Prime

Minister, Kevin Rudd, what do you Minister, Kevin Rudd, what do you

get? So we got you a striper! Not

really. They're disappointed. We

did get you a proper present.

That's neat. Here we go. It's from

Dick Smith. It is official Kevin

Rudd PM merchandise. Thafrpblgts

eat - that's great. You get your

own action T-shirt with you on it

and the lovible admiral oink and in

case you've miss pd it every

episode of your series to date.

Here's one we prepared earlier.

Don't you look good in that little

white suit? I look like a Gold

Coast real estate? Why the white

suit? In all seriousness, when the

whole strip club came up next year

doctor sh - What was the next

question? I think it worked for you.

I think it made you a plan of the

people. Did you think that? You

know, we're all human. Some more so

than other. Do tell me about it,

Rove. I'm still waiting for puberty.

I don't know. I think - cause I

think it makes you real, it makes

you exciting. It gives you a personality because politicians -

and sometimes you have been

criticised as being boring. Do you

guys see yourself as boring? How

could you possibly say someone like could you possibly say someone like

us is boring? He me give you 4

reasons why I'm not I'm willing to

hear by all means. That was a joke.

You know, you see the Americans are

out there. You've got a gun

totaling possible vice president

who can see Russia from her house.

Is that a mousse over there? But

there's NSW ministers who are

getting sacked for dry humping

things, other WA ministers are

sniffing chairs and it just seems

it's a bit crazy out there. It's an

interesting profession. Yeah, that

- I shouldn't comment on US

domestic politics but she seem ass

very interesting lady. Have you

thought about who you might be

becoming mates with should it be

either Barack Obama or John McCain?

Well, because you don't know which

the good people of America are

going to vote, and it's their

choice, I've been on the phone to

both of them. I get on well with

both of thom. Barack Obama and

McCain. We've had two conversations

with each other. Closer to home

we've had the big leadership change

on the opposite side. With Nelson

gone. He was an easy target R you

seriously worried ab Turnbull? Do

you think he'll issue more of a

challenge against you? You know, I

reckon people - my sense of the

community is people are kind of fed

up with the personality side of the

politics. There's big stuff going

on out there the global financial

crisis and other things. I reck

come some.5 years time they'll say,

OK, Kevin Rudd said he'd do this,

did he do it? Did his plan work?

And they'll tick or cross whether I

succeeded and I think that will be

the same for him as well. And what

about Costello? Because in his book about Costello? Because in his book

he was saying, why, if I had been

leader Kevin Rudd would have gone

down, or to that effect, anyway. Do

you think he would have actually -

he would have really issued a

challenge against you, do you think

it could have gone a different it could have gone a different way

if he was in power at the time?

Modesty was always one of Peter's

first and stronger suits. He's a

funny bloke, isn't he? I think if

he was going to do it he should

have sucked up the guts and had a

wrack about it. It's easy to write

ant it in your memoires? I think

one of Mr Costello's problems is at

the end of the day he expected

things to be handed to him on a

matter. What I know about politics

it's a very competitive business.

One day you have to walk up and say,

"I believe ki do a better job and

this is why and I'm challenging to

do it" And, you know, that was

tough because we had the same tough because we had the same

experience when I challenged Kim.

It's not an easy thing to do but I

think you to go through that.

Absolute and credit to you for

doing I on a scale of 1 to 10 how

do you think you've gone as Prime

Minister? I think - I think that's

for them to decide. Put it down to

this. Would you once again like to this. Would you once again like to

win 20 bucks in 20 second, Mr Kevin

Rudd? Let's go. You've done pretty

well. Can I just go now? Now think

ab the last question this time.

Last time we had - I'm still trance

fix bid that one. We had a lick cup

last time round but I'm sure we'll

be fine this time round. What's

mandarin for why am I appear thong

show again? - appearing on this

show again? That is a really weird

question. You can do it. (speaks

mandarin) Sarah pay Lynn, hot or

not? I like mousse. I'm not sure

what that means. What was ta love

movie you saw? Saw a rerun of

terminator. Are the beef stroganoff

portions at Parliament house big

enough? Not big enough for me to

get a bowl of each and dump one on

Mr Mur Messrs's - Murphy's head and

the other on another lady ie -

ladies head. We we're already at

the end. Mr Kevin Rudd, Prime

Minister of Australia who would Minister of Australia who would you

turn gay for, properly? What do you

mean properly? You said your wife.

She's a lovely lay tkhi. It doesn't

go that way. Marcus and I were

chatting about this. Went thought

you might ask this question you might ask this question again.

Of course you did. We had this fear,

and you know something I've got

something to reveal after months in

office. That my position hasn't

changed. That's very sweet. I'll

keep the 20 bucks. It's been a

pleasure having you back on the

show. Here's the plug. You can

catch Kevin Rudd as Prime Minister

of Australia for the next 2.5 years.

Please thank Kevin Rudd, everybody.

Thanks for being a good sport. Good

to see you again. Happy birthday.

Thank you. We'll be right back. Up

next, Ryan Shelton lifts the lid on

real estate and we'll be back stage during