Note: Where available, the PDF/Word icon below is provided to view the complete and fully formatted document
Disclaimer: The Parliamentary Library does not warrant the accuracy of closed captions. These are derived automatically from the broadcaster's signal.
Good News Week -

View in ParlView

(generated from captions) CHEERING.

Political mastermind. Clare, it's

time to face political mastermind. No. No. No.

Come on down. I'm terrified, I want

no part of it. If it's okay, I

would like to bring in a friend. A

friend? I'd like to bring friend ke sprin. friend? I'd like to bring in my

Kevin. Ladies and gentlemen, the

Prime Minister of Australia. Kevin Kevin Rudd.


Shall we? Yeah. CHEERING.

You seem to be quite popular? No,

you just warm them up. I did warm

them up, I was good at that. I was

wanted to ask you a question, you

weren't driving a truck in country

Victoria... LAUGHTER.

Victoria... LAUGHTER.

Lelt me just be absolutely frank.

it wasn't me. The police have interviewed me but

LAUGHTER. So you're happy to be

here? How are you feeling? Pretty

nervous, the 1903 question, I mean,

that's, that's rough. That's

Minister. seriously rough. Thank you Prime

It's rough in the sense that Mikey

disappointed an entire nation by

not knowing... LAUGHTER. APPLAUSE. not knowing... LAUGHTER. APPLAUSE.

So, you are genuinely impressed by

his knowledge? I was stunned. He

did well erplly on, but everyone

knew it was December 16th 1903.

I didn't.

I love your country, PM.

There's a Canadian in the back. A

later. nice job. We will check his visa


So, are you ready to dive in, on

beckons. behalf of Clare's team? My country

Your team bek cons Prime Minister,

don't stuff it up.

the Prime Minister. How often do you get to say that to

If you're a member of my staff,

your every day. Thanks for stepping in

your Majesty.

. LAUGHTER. Are you anxious, I am.

Where was the first meeting of the

Australian Labor Party held? In a

church in Bogadillo, in a pub, in

Borolulu... Where? Borolul u. Could

you say it one more time. Borolulo? Brrrrlll...

LAUGHTER. You've lost that electorate.

Judging by the name, it's probably

in a country party C.

In is tricky. Because... Are you

just building the tension there or

is it tricky? It is tricky, it was

certainly Barcaldin, there was a

gum tree, but after that, they went

to the pub and had the first

meeting. By 6 o'clock, they had the

first split in the Australian Labor

Party. LAUGHTER. And probably by

nine o'clock, they'd forgotten what

the split was about, but someone

remembered the next day, we

Party. established the Australian Labor

Let's see, yes. LAUGHTER APPLAUSE.

You gave mikey a run for his money.

Just don't get him fix saited on

the 1903 thing. A big stuff up.

LAUGHTER. Billy Hughes served as

Prime Minister twice, as leader of two different parties.

Billy Hughes. Um... Two parties.

You know what Billy Hughes said

towards the end of his life? They

invited him to run for the then

country party... Is this like

Mikey's Yahoo serious story... I'm

buying time. At the end of the life,

they asked him why he wouldn't run

for the country party, he said at

90, a man's got to draw the line

somewhere, he'd run for every other

party by that stage. I reckon, he

was the head of the Labor Party,

then he ratted... He certainly was

with the Nationalists so I would go

Hughes. for number two. Billy the Rat


I knew that, and I still, I still

love that piece, 85 years later

they still hold a grudge, he's

still still around.

You know what I liked, that was a

nice relaxed answer and I'm

thinking this would be a better

format for Question Time, you could format for Question Time, you could

be there Kevin, Tony Abbott have a

in behind you. nice chat and everyone could chip

LAUGHTER. Don't know if I really

want to be Tony Abbott. Why don't

you be Tony Abbott, I'll be you,

that would be fun. Hang on, you

Catholic. could be Tony Abbott, cranky ex-

And I'll look fine in a pair of

sluggos as well. I think the nation

and me in a pair of sluggos is

to something the nation doesn't want

to see.

I think we should put that to the

nation, Prime Minister. I know what

the result would be.

that. Ah rbs don't put yourself down like

I'm acting on advice of my wife.

This could have bearing on the next

question then. Behave over there.

This is a family show. Sadly not after this one.

Australian Prime Ministers have had

Yep. two beards and three moustaches.


Three beards and four moustaches... Or 25peniises.

If you don't know, you don't

deserve to lead this great country sir.

this Technically, there is a trick in

this question.

Because I'm the 26th Prime Minister. Wooo! LAUGHTER.

Why does this lady always laugh

first at innuendo. Could we have

her interviewed later on. We could

have her removed if you like. We

could do this together with the

Canadian's visa. Let me see...

Great country sir. Can I phone a

friend. Have you got a friend?

Well... Declining in number. Just

going to ring Hauwky.

he. LAUGHTER. Again. He had two, didn't

LAUGHTER. Call Tony.

Excuse me, Mr Prime Minister. Don't

forget that Tom Ballard woorks on

the ABY, - ABC so you can fire him.

four The safest answer is three beards

four moustaches.

Go the first one Prime Minister.

LAUGHTER. On reflection... APPLAUSE.

And having reviewed all the in-

coming data from relevant

government departments I've

concluded it's probably number one,

two beards and three moustaches. Let's see if he's right. APPLAUSE. CHEERING.

Haven't you done last year's tax

oring?? I haven't done tax for the

last ten... It's next years we're

interested in. We will be back with

more political mastermind with the Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd after this. or the fruit basket.

just makes things better. the Sydney Autumn Carnival

CHEERING. Welcome back to the

political mastermind, with the

Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd.

If you divide the number of Prime

Ministers who have died in office

by the number of individuals who

served as Prime Minister, what are

next your chances of making it to the

next election?

LAUGHTER You know the disturbing

thing in this job, when I go to the

gym and things... Is that the

disturbing thing? LAUGHTER.

You and I agreed before hand I

wasn't going to mention lycra. No...

The disturbing thing in this job,

when you go for a swim, I was in

Tassie, go to Freysana, you go into

the water, the surf, you have these

completely panic looks on the faces

of the AFP saying, sigh lepbltly, don't do a Harold.

Or in the gym, like I did this

morning, they're carrying this red

bag, what's in there, a defibrulator.

They don't have a lot of faith in

you, do they? Very deflateing.

We didn't want to take you to dark territory.. 88 point 4.

Let's see? Yes.

APPLAUSE. You're at 25, you equal

Mikey's score. Was that hard?

Didn't seem hard at all. Seems

effortless. Well, he is the Prime


You have two more questions, you

could accede his score, which Australian Prime Minister famously said... LAUGHTER. CHEERING. Take your time, Prime Minister.

I'm sure that's not exactly what I

said. Malcolm Fraser, 1971, that is

a Frasrian remark. Frasrian, I like,

that is that in the Macquarie. It

should be after this. Can you make

it happen, word Ms the dictionary?

Yes, expeling the Canadian, fixing

up your tax and getting rid of the Canadian, we'll do it all.

Is the Prime Minister right? Oh. CHEERING.

Now, the last question for you,

possibly the hardest. I think of

the day, for a perfect score.

I'm anxious. Are you? LAUGHTER.

What's it like meeting Obama? He is really

really good.

I had this little foreign policy

matrix going through my head. He's

really good. His next slogan - Obama he's really good.

LAUGHTER. So many people jumped on

the Barack Obama bandwagon, as an

African American, really offends me.

He's really smart and really cool

and he's coming to Australia soon.

What was John Howard worst at?


Cricket, I have complete empathy

with John Howard in cricket, his

wrist action failed him, where was

that in Pakistan that day.

Hihi. Hey. Being dirty again. I'm

ashamed of our audience, she did it again.

Excuse me I saw footage of you

clapping and your wrist action

failed, you were like this...

APPLAUSE. Don't get too smug over there, you know.

But, I did much worse over the

summer, down in Tasmania, Belreeve.

You've been there a fair bit, on

the same your honoury? Yes, but I

caught a day's cricket in the

series between Australia and

Pakistan. Middle of the day, they

pull us out there to throw some

balls down to... That could be the

problem, throw the ball rather than

bowling it, maybe that's the issue

there. I used to be in the YandinaC

team in rural Queensland, I know a

bit about my cricket. I used to

bring me in at number 11 and then

all moan. What I did with my wrist

action, I managed to absolutely,

absolutely bowl this four-year-old out. LAUGHTER.

I really like the Premier Tasmania

said, Kevin, that was really dumb.

So I'm with John Howard, we're both

cricket tragics and failures, I'm

going with the cricket.

I'd like to Read the question again...

What was he worst at, he was worst

at that one surely...? Do you

think? Look, with a wider view and

more time to reflect... I think

we'd have to look at the 2007

outcomes, I'm going C. CHEERING.

That makes you mover and shaker of

the sauce bottle. We should always

have that sauce bottle to shake.


It's all right Prime Minister, they're on drugs.

LAUGHTER. Well, four things vie to attend to after this programme.

But I did have help for two of

those questions, ib appreciate that

and your taxes will be fine.

Up next the hot spot, please thank

the Prime Minister again.