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The Hollowmen -

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(generated from captions) was an album by...? The Boy With The Arab Strap Yes? DING Belle and Sebastian it is. Belle and Sebastian. "mezzo piano" mean? What does the phrase Sort of half soft. BUZZ that sounds about right. I've got medium or moderately quiet, Your final... I've heard that before. LAUGHTER Eric Carmen had hungry what? Your final questions. Hungry Eyes. DING however... Yes, Myf. Bruce Springsteen, Yes? DING Yes, Hungry Heart it was. Oh...Hungry...Hungry Heart. BUZZ Duran Duran... Were Hungry Like The Wolf. Yes? which country received 128 points... Yes, and your final question - Yes? BUZZ I presume it would be Hungary.

Song Contest, it was Hungary. ..in the 2007 Eurovision APPLAUSE

thinking that up, weren't you? You were up all night the final scores were, At the end of the show with 14 points, Myf, Jae, Denise ended up 20 points. Alan, Brett, Al won the day, APPLAUSE all our guests for tonight, Would you please thank Jae Laffer and Denise Scott. Brett Weymark, Al Pitcher, APPLAUSE Alan Brough and Myf Warhurst. And of course, our two team captains, APPLAUSE we mentioned Denise Scott's crush Now, earlier in tonight's show, The Town Criers, on the lead singer of '60s band, a man by the name of Barry Smith. Oh, no!

Tonight we'd like to end the show Well tonight...yes, Denise.

Everlasting Love, with The Town Criers' hit, by Barry Smith. sung live to Denise Scott CHEERING Oh my God! Spicks And Specks, Thanks for watching good night, Australia. my name's Adam Hills, Oh, Barry! Please. Can I kiss you? Oh, you've got to sing, though.

Oh, all right. Come on, boys. # Hearts go astray # And it hurts when they go

# I went away # Just when you needed me so BOTH: # Open up your eyes # Then you'll realise Everlasting love # Here I stand with my # Need you by my side # Girl, to be my bride Everlasting love # You'll never be denied

# When other loves have gone # Ours will still be strong # We'll have our very own # True love will last forever. # CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Closed Captions by CSI * THEME MUSIC DISTANT VOICES How are you going? Tony. What's that worth? You've got an eye for things. A million? A million. is a sting as well. They reckon the framing Untitled Two. See, that's where they lose me - you've bought yourself some time, You've done Untitled One, come up with a name. not to frame your reaction. I think the artist is trying Yeah, well. Make an effort. creative. I mean, you're supposed to be Mel, how did you go? Yeah? Just walked him to the car. Loved it. Did he enjoy himself? an extra hour. It's not often he stays

No. It was a "Just in caser". I thought he had another function. He certainly didn't need it tonight. A "Just in caser". Hey, good speech too. dynamic textural interplay before. I've never heard that thing about till 5:30 this afternoon. No. Well, I don't think he had Well, he sold it well. No, I'm fine. Do you need a ride, Mel? Are you nearby? Are you sure? Hey, well done tonight, Mel. Yeah. Yeah. You too. Loved it. Oh, stop it! See you. You look fantastic. Good job. Good night. See you later. See you. raise anything with you tonight? Listen, um, did the Prime Minister of comments on... He did make a couple in the new wing? About the gallery Prime Minister for getting it built. Yeah, and all credit to the previous

very similar to me. OK. He said something in a couple of weeks. All right, well that's twice

this chat tomorrow. I think we better continue Yep. Good idea. Let's do that. I'll bring Murph. And bring Murph. Yep. Are you right for a ride? it's in all the papers. Yeah? TONY: Jeff reckons got the photos of the - Like every one of them's gee, it was a very, very good - of those arts things too. No. we don't do many with the gallery director there, See, that's the Prime Minister

who's cropped out there. and I'm not sure The Arts Minister? Yeah, it is too. the performance artists. And that's one of Her. It's a she. Oh, yeah. What's his name? Yeah, it fooled me too. Oh. doing this dark clowning thing. She walked amongst the guests of notional gender stereotypes. It was challenging our perceptions Do you like mime? Was she good? No, me neither. Not really. Yeah? Gentlemen? Yeah. What coverage, hey? the Prime Minister It's not often you see mentioned in the arts pages. "Underage model" popping up. (LAUGHS) No. Not without the phrase It was a bloody good night. They did the opening so well, Murph. He really did. He gave such a good speech. And it prompted the Prime Minister thought. to raise a rather interesting And that's all it is, you know? Should I be taking notes? Yeah. Buildings.

Mm. Big buildings. Yes. Public buildings.

Impressive buildings. Yeah. We've opened quite a few in recent months. Four, actually. All commissioned by previous administrations. All right. I mean, not that he minds. Of course not.

But it does bring into sharp focus the rather interesting question - "Have we been derelict in our duty?"

That's an interesting question. Right. Have we neglected the ongoing need for structural rejuvenation? Oh, there's another interesting question. I mean, shouldn't we be leaving an architectural legacy for future generations as well? I reckon that photo's been digitally altered. In what way? It looks like the PM's actually in an art gallery. He was. I thought he hated the arts. He never said that. No, but he does. Apparently, he had a great night. Er. And what's dark clowning? So you want to build something? Well, we wouldn't say that.

Oh, only if it's needed. It's a thought bubble at this stage.

We're not going to start construction on something just for the sake of it. Of course not. Should something pop up on your radar that might allow us the opportunity to contribute to the architectural fabric of our capital... Yep. That's all it is. It's a thought bubble. Yep. Now... You've gotta go. I'll have to go. OK. I'll keep going. Thank you, Tony.

Ian, how urgent is this? Don't drop anything. No. No, mate. Just put it on the - make a note. Thank you, Tony. OK. He wants a building. Yeah, I gathered that. Did you? Cos that structural rejuvenation thing kind of threw me. But all of this came out of last night? Oh, it's been brewing for a while. I mean, every time you're forced to pay credit to a predecessor,

a little bit of you dies. Yeah, but he's PM now. I guess he's wondering - if he left office tomorrow, what would be left behind? Nothing. We'd shred it all. No, mate. The PM's serious. What would be his legacy? Good sensible government. Oh, come on. Seriously? OK, National Schools Program. Oh, yeah, but it's a school's initiative. I mean, even we're backing away from it now. Transport. What about it?

National Integrated Transport Authority. Was that us? Yeah. Well, there's my point. Where's the plaque, where's the canapes, where's the snaparazzi? In politics, half your time is spent dismantling the legacy of the previous bloke. (LAUGHS) You know, you defund their programs, you kill them, you rename them, but you can't dismantle bricks and mortar. That's true. He wants to leave an architectural legacy for future generations. You know, something people can drive past and go, "Thank you, PM, for..." something the next bloke has to drive past and go, "Can't get rid of it." A building? Something to represent his legacy. A badly-managed nursing home? Mate... This has come from last night? It's been brewing for a while. But he wants something grand for himself. Where? Here. Canberra. Any timeframe? Ian said, "Don't drop anything." Shit! If we're gonna fast track a building, where would we start? Mm, not sure. Well, who's responsible for Canberra? Ah, National Capital Authority. They control all these sorts of urban planning issues. OK. Who's responsible for them? Oh...

Morning, gentlemen. Phillip. (LAUGHS) First of all, I know there have been times in the past when we've come at things from a different stake-holder set, as it were, but on this one, I feel very confidently we'll move forward. Well, then, I'm equally excited about... That's great, Murph. That's great. Cos I tell you, once the Capital Authority find out that the PM's prioritised the Canberra Plan... They'll be doing cartwheels. That's great to hear. It is. Of course, not hard to read the PM on this. What do you mean? Well, we all know what this is about, really. Do we? All about honouring one man. Walter Burley Griffin.

Sir Walter Burley Griffin. (LAUGHS) The father of Canberra. That's it. Oh, I know the PM's got a real soft spot for him. Really? Yeah, yeah. He's confided in me a number of times, actually. Yeah, he's often asking, "Who's responsible for that?", "Who built that?", "Who's that named after?" He's asked me too. Yeah. So whatever we come up with really must reflect the Griffin vision. Naturally. Of course. Can we show you boys something? Hive of activity. This is fantastic. Of course, the Big House, Attorney General, PMC, Treasury - it goes on. What do you think? How long did it take to build? Oh, no, I didn't - oh, I see. Now, as you can see, the area known as the Parliamentary Triangle is formed by three of Burley Griffin's axis. Here, here... Warren, we get it. Now, while most construction projects are focused on this inner area here, there's no doubt that Burley Griffin's vision extended beyond the triangle. Sorry, Phillip, Warren. Nick and I must return to the office. Ah. Haven't got on to non-authority the design concepts yet.

Could we get that in a summary form? We could lend them the DVD. No, we wouldn't have any of those left. They're there. Oh, good. There we go - Griffin Legacy - Burley Griffin: A Man Of Vision. Great. Is that an overnight loan only, or...

Just return it by the end of the week.

Just before we go, just so we're clear, where does all of this leave us in terms of actually adding something? The city of Canberra is, in many ways, an unfinished masterpiece. Right. I feel quite confident there will be no shortage of ways in which the Prime Minister can contribute to the overall canvas. Great. Mm.

The key for all of us here, is... DIANE: The Shakespeare opening night? What's the play? Ah, Henry V. Yeah, sounds long. Diane, would you mind Wikipediaing Henry V and get us a running time? Mm-hm. Sure. I think he has a prior engagement after interval. Yeah, I think he might. Mm. He's happy to be there for the pre-drinks thing. He's loving that bit, isn't he? Oh, yes, absolutely. He's like a social butterfly. Hey, Nick, Murph. How did you go? Good, good. Just met with Phillip and he's on-side. Well, that's great cos the PM is as keen as mustard, so, I mean, let's get some architects, get soil samples done, get the... We don't even know what we're doing. Yeah, but you're on to it. Phillip's on side for once in his life. I mean, let's get some action into it, OK? All right. We've got some stuff to review... Good on you. All right. Good stuff. NEWS: It is almost 100 years since this site was selected for the national capital. Since then, successive Australian governments

have committed to the building of Canberra. We have the opportunity and the responsibility to develop a capital city worthy of our nation - an Australian place reflecting our stories, our culture and our values. (SIGHS) what do you reckon? Is there a director's cut? There's not much there, is there? No. Holly? In here. Whoa. Somebody's been doing some work. National Science and Technology Centre, National Archives, National Sculpture Garden, National Zoo and Aquarium... Great. We can use any of these. No, these are the ones we already have. Oh. National Gallery, National War Memorial, National Museum, High Court of Australia, National Library, National Mint. Do you want me to check the DVD for special features? Has the department come up with anything? We're meant to be seeing them again next week, so...

Gentlemen, can I just say right off the bat, that the National Capital Authority boys are over the moon. As predicted.

So they've come up with some ideas? Oh, they have. Too many. You give an opportunity like this to this crowd... They're excited? Shall we look at some options? Sure. Let's. Number One - roundabouts.

And what do you build on that? Nothing. It's a roundabout. What do you build in it? Nothing. You're reconfiguring the roundabouts, all of Canberra's roundabouts.

Completely revamp the city's traffic flow for the next 40 years. Huge climate change benefits to this one. See, what you're looking at here, really, is a combination underpass, roundabout and bus stop. Any questions? Yeah. What's Slide Two? The Barton Highway. Ah-ha. We build a highway? No, this road already exists but it's badly in need of widening, and bike paths running alongside. But if we did that, then what would we call the road? The Barton Highway. You can't rename it, Murph. What's the next slide, Warren? Murph, this will help give Canberra the most public transport-friendly road system in the Southern Hemisphere. In many ways, it's a natural extension of Burley Griffin's vision. Is there an extension of his vision that involves an actual building? Mm. That's interesting. Warren? Um... ..er... ..would you call a level four water reclamation plant a building? Just so I'm clear, the stormwater network is a no? Yeah, it's a no.

Holly, it's Murph. We're on our way back. Can you please tell Tony to meet us in the unit in ten. Thank you.

The beauty for me is that it's all underground. No-one even knows it's there. We've still got a little bit of work to do, though. Really? They don't quite get our idea. This looks impressive. Is this the roadwork's for the building or the... No. See, there are no buildings. That's his re-curbing master plan - water runs through gutters into an aquifer, or something. Aqua- OK, we bypass Phillip. Oh, actually, bypass was another one of his suggestions. Don't worry. We've re-briefed him, and they'll come up with some ideas. I've got it - a tomb of the unknown soldier. We've got one. Where? It's in an alcove at the war memorial. We build a new one, like a big stand-alone monument. That ticks a few boxes. Why are you looking at me like that? The problem is, you can't put a plaque on it. Why not? Well, the soldier is unnamed but the PM is. Oh, right. Then it becomes the tomb of the unknown PM, doesn't it? Oh, scrap that. OPERA SINGING Hey, Ian? I can't believe we haven't twigged to this arts thing before. PM's having a ball. You only have to turn up on opening night, pat a few backs, and they're all over you. I wouldn't be surprised if he ends up getting the flowers. Makes a welcome change. Oh, try buying pensioners. You give them $10 billion, one spends the night on a hospital trolley, then you're chopped liver. How was the Prime Minister? He's having drinks with Geoffrey Rush. I got the feeling three's company. Phillip, you didn't happen to see the Weekend Australian, did you? I did. Melbourne Symphony Orchestra. Yeah, Mozart's Requiem. Must have been wonderful. A little churchy for me. Still, they're calling the PM the Renaissance man. Yes, I saw that. He copped a fair bit of ribbing in the political discussion when you were out of the - hopping back and forth. Ruthless, indeed. Phillip, any progress with the NCA? Ah, yes, yes. Also, Ian, I'm sorry about that slight hitch there. We heard 'infrastructure', we thought you meant 'functional or general projects'. As long as we're moving forward towards a building. See, I don't necessarily see it involving a building.

It could be landscaping, earthworks. See you back in the Prime Minister's office. Yeah. The building, I think, says 'legacy', and that's what the Prime Minister wants to leave for the nation, for future generations. Tony, I'd counter that by saying, "I think he's leaving a legacy on a daily basis." What are you talking about? Tax reform, family benefits. Something you see. He's brought a national approach to the table. Federal-state relations. Exactly. He's been the ultimate bridge builder, Tony. Could we build a bridge? I meant a metaphorical bridge. Well, let's build a metaphorical bridge. But that's not real. Let's build a real one! Why does Canberra need a new bridge? To get across the lake! Tony - Burley Griffin. He didn't build enough bridges, Phillip. It's clear. Can I just say this? Yeah. As a keen student of Australian political history, you need to trust me. If we're talking about a legacy, it should come from this room, not from some grand structure. TONY: And they can do 3-D ones? Absolutely. Let's talk about this one. OK, this could be the central forecourt area, overlooking the lake. Ah, OK. I've tried to retain a sense of flow... Mm-hm. ..bringing the public and private areas together in what we call a... (SPEAKS GERMAN) What's that, Dougal? It's a covered inner courtyard. It's a German word. Ah, right. I think hard edges are the key here, in a semi-bauerhaus effect. My apologies. I did my PhD in tectonic architecture. I'm a student of the German school. Could we build a school? Not a German school, I mean an Australian school? Tony? I'm just trying to keep the - sorry, keep going, Dougal. I have some questions. Yep, sure. Fire away. Size?

You said grand. Well, grandish.

Well, we want to make a statement. So something like a... (SPEAKS GERMAN) Ooh, that sounds big. What's that? It's just German for arts hall. Oh, sounded better than that. It's a large empty building designed for temporary exhibitions. Are there any other big German things that we might be able to... You know what? I must say, in the position that you've indicated, I'm a little worried about shadowing the National Library. Oh, they'll just extra lighting, and we can arrange that. No - casting a visual shadow.

I mean, the sidelines are going to be blocked.

(SIGHS) Probably you can just do that, can't you? You know, Prime Minister's building, National Library, Prime Minister's building. The Parliamentary Triangle is a very sensitive area. Understood. Dougal, thank you very much for coming. Now, these are our plans on that? Yeah. It's a great thought. Thank you. Thank you, Dougal. Auf Wiedersehen. Oh, and achtung for all your help. Danke schoen. Well, my pleasure. My pleasure. Exciting stuff. Yeah. Listen, just so I know, does the PM have any further ideas about what he wants to do? He has, actually. What does he want it to be? He wants it to be between the National Library and the lake, in line with the High Court. No, no. I didn't say, "Where", Tone, I said, "What". Oh, he hasn't got that far. Oh.

No, but you'll come up with something. Maybe I'll take a walk around. Have a look. Have a look. Cos I don't think a visual shadow is a bad thing. I mean, let's not let the Parliamentary Triangle intimidate us. Right. Yeah. Schnell, Schnell. I'd much rather do this. Yeah. In fact, it was a very good idea of yours, Murph. Thank you. Get out of the office, clear the head, yeah? Trail mix? Ah, no, thanks. When I'm out here, I get a sense of Old Man Griffin looking down on us. It's a magnificent place. Hopefully, we can add to it, Phil. I'm sure we can. The project's out there as long as...

It's out there somewhere. Maybe it's around here somewhere. Here? Yeah. In the Parliamentary Triangle? Hypothetically. You want to build here? Well. (LAUGHS) Murph, look at the place. Yeah, I am. There's a lot of space over there. And that was part of Griffin's vision, mm? You put anything here, you risk masking other buildings. How do you think the Prime Minister would feel about that? Hard to say. Face it, Murph, this place is complete how it is - National Library, Questacon, High Court, National Gallery, Carillion, sweep across the lake, the War Memorial... Yep. No. We need to look further afield. Look it's just that the PM... You see Mount Ainslie? Could we build something up there? On the other side are the suburbs of Downer and Hackett, some very interesting public housing initiatives that we could look at.

OPERA SINGING Murph, Tony. MURPH: How's it going? We're just doing interval now. What is it? La Boheme. What's it like? A bit slow but the PM's fired up for the drinks break. He loves the mingling. (LAUGHS) Right. Hey, listen. When are you meeting with Phillip next? Hang on, mate. Ah, we've got one scheduled for Monday. That's good cos Ian and I reckon

the building should be in the arts sphere. MAN: Tony? Sorry, I gotta go in for the final act. Act? You mean "Acts"? What do you mean "Acts"? Well, it's La Boheme, it's four acts. Murph and Nick? Just parking now. Ah, good. Saw the PM was in Sydney across the weekend. Yeah, got a lot of coverage, didn't it? Certainly did, certainly did. I didn't know he was an opera fan. Yeah, he enjoys all forms of culture, you know? Renaissance Man - I brought the article over. Ah, Renaissance Man. Look at that. Terrific opera - La Boheme. What? Who? That's what you saw - La Boheme. Oh, yeah. PM loved it. Yeah. Long opera, though - four acts and all. Oh, well, we had another meeting pop up so we had to leave at interval. Really? Yeah. Saturday night? No rest. No. What happens in the end, actually? Of La Boheme? Mm? (SIGHS) Doesn't the girl die of consumption? Mimi? Yes. Mimi passes away in the end. That's it. Oh, Rudolfo would have been disappointed. Oh, inconsolable. Of course, he was wracked with guilt of having left her originally. Well, you reap what you sow, don't you? Lesson for Rudolfo. Sorry I'm late, guys.

Ah, good on you, guys. The Arts. Yes, right. Keen to make a major contribution to the long-term cultural legacy of the nation. Now, if I could just play advocatus diaboli. Who's that? Devil's advocate. It's just that, well, in terms of cultural institutions, Canberra has an embarrassment of riches. We're always ready for one more. I'm afraid there's a glut. Well, the arts are very important, Phillip. Does Canberra really need another gallery or museum? Yes, they do. Look, I'm not sure I like advocatus diaboli. Look, we can all see the attraction here. The arts are intellectual... Worthy... ..our leaders are seen to be adding to the cultural legacy of the place. It's a very important role. We can see them, walk around in them.

In fact, they really do advertise your good work, so to speak. See, now you're playing avocado good guy. I'll go back.

No, I like him. I like avocado good guy. (LAUGHS) Tony, the arts have been catered for.

More than adequately. I think, the NCA think, we should be looking to make a contribution

in other fields. The NCA - yeah, they're a funny, funny... Murph? You know what? I wonder if Nick and I spent some time with Phillip and Warren. Good idea. I do have plenty on - look, but I think we're making progress. As long as we keep avocado out of the room, I think we can come up with a very good plaque. Plan is what we need, OK? Thanks for... ..Renaissance Man. Thank you. Bedside reading. Commiserations to Rudolfo. OK, the PM obviously wants to support the arts. I'm hearing that but I have issues with... Listen, Phillip. Relax for a second. He also wants to support the vision of Sir Walter Burley Griffin. Well, that is good to know. OK, so let's just find some common ground. OK, but it needs to be small. Why? Minimalist aesthetics. Burley Griffin was determined to avoid an imperial style capital. But what if we... I've got an idea. Well, let's hear it, Warren. We build an arts walk. Oh, kept that up your sleeve. What is an arts walk?

A series of levelled stepping stones around the lake. High-lighting points for aesthetic interest. And would that be surrounded by walls? Shrubs. Hi, Holly. Hi, Theo. Is Murph in? He's about five minutes away. Hi, Theo. Oh, hi, Tony, how are you?

What have we got? I did a focus group and added some questions about the public building concept. Great. Yeah. What did they come up with? There's interest in a new stadium. Stadium? Yeah. Multipurpose, you know? Footy, soccer, athletics... What about cultural? Anything cultural come up? Er, no, not really. Stadium. Yeah. OK. That was pretty ad hoc. No, it was pretty thorough. But you just did it on the fly. No, it was thorough. But it wasn't - he didn't really - he did it at at the last moment. I mean, I don't think that's... Oh, actually, you guys live in Canberra. BOTH: Yeah. What does this city really need? A bar that stays open after ten. Yes, please. Yeah, no, no. Forget bars. What else does Canberra need? More bike lanes. What's that? More bike lanes. I'm thinking in terms of a building. A place you go to, Josh. A concert venue. There you go.

Like a concert hall? An opera house. No. A bar? Yeah, where you can watch bands. Recitals? No, bands. What about a chamber orchestra? That plays till after ten? BOTH: No. I'll throw in a liquor license. Forget it. A bit of hip-hop? MURPH: Hi, Tone. (SIGHS) How did you finish up? Not so good. Got as far as floral mosaics and then...

Floral mosaics? Yeah. (LAUGHS) I think when the Prime Minister envisaged a grand cultural landmark, he wasn't thinking about grevilleas. I don't think big things were part of Griffin's vision. Never? He had pretty firm views. He didn't soften as he got older? No.

When he got senile, he didn't ease up on the heart restrictions, a little?

Not according to Phillip. I think we've got to tell Phillip exactly what we want. What do you mean 'we'? Well... (SIGHS) My turn? Mm-hm. So we can hear Phillip. Go on through, I'll be in in a minute. Tony's in there, OK? Of course.

Tony? G'day, Phillip. How are you? Thanks for coming in. Is that new? Yeah. Yeah, Justin O'Shea - the PM's a big fan. Is he? I love his sense of abstractionism and use of colour. Yeah, me too. Plus he gives them a title, which I think helps. MAN: Shall we? Maybe we just haven't quite made ourselves clear. I did actually get the sense from Murph that we were yet to nail it. Not quite. But I thought we were close with the whole eco-prison precinct. Well, maybe we're being a little prescriptive. What the Prime Minister wants to do is contribute something substantive to the arts. Very commendable. Did he have any particular area in mind? Yeah, that area between the National Library and the lake. I think Phillip's referring to what area of the arts, Tony. Oh, got it. I'm sorry. No. Look, we're open to all options. Opera? Ballet? Fine arts? Yep. Jazz? No, no. We just want to support the arts. Message received. OK. Gentlemen, breakthrough. Wonderful. Absolute - I'm not seeing any architectural drawings. No front view? Northern elevation? Level one? Level two? I'm concerned.

Give us a moment. We've come up with a great idea. Ticks all the boxes. The arts, major contribution, clear legacy

be applauded by the wider arts community.

And where? Everywhere. The whole Parliamentary Triangle? No, no, no. Everywhere. All around Australia. Buildings all around Australia? No buildings. Well, it doesn't tick any box. Just let me finish. It's the concept of the artist in the community. It's a program of infusing artists and the arts into all communities. Schools, universities, workplaces, the armed forces.

Why would soldiers want art? We all want art. Look at the PM. There's no part of Australian society

that can't have the joy of the arts in their daily lives. But what about a building?

Ah, see. This is the best bit. No buildings. There's gotta be a building. No building. What about a building that teaches artists how to infuse themselves... Yeah, we can put it in a big, German... What? A national academy for infusing artists. It's your idea. No. It's the opposite of the idea. No buildings, no upkeep... No plaque. Exactly. Just art. And the cost goes... (WHISTLES) Oh, there's gotta be a three-strikes rule.

I think we're out of options, mate.

All right, we build a theatre - a national theatre. In Canberra? Or an opera house? What if no-one shows up? I can see the headline, "PM's White Elephant." You see, that's why galleries are so good. No-one counts how many people come. OK, a gallery - what do we put in it? We've got all types of art covered. OK, but the gallery's the key, yeah? Yeah, but what do we put in it? You can't just build a big, empty hall. Yes, we can, as long as we give it a fancy German name. Beer hall? No, "Tu...tu...tu..." Holly? Found it - Kunstaler! Ku...that's what the architect said. It's with a 'K'. That's what was throwing me. Yeah. And the filter was blocking the word. Kunstaler. Kunstaler. A Kunstale. A Kunstale. I remember Dougal saying that. Yeah. What does it do? Nothing. It's a permanent building for temporary exhibitions.

Have they got one in there somewhere else? Yeah, there's one in Basel. Tokyo's got one. OK, what are they showing? At the moment, they're showing Peruvian art. And are they getting away with it? Huge success. I mean, you can put anything into this place - sculpture, art... Chuck in a bar - get Vanmathy's friends there.

You said her name right. Did I? See what happens when the pressure's off? So it's just an empty building? No, no, no. It's a full building - it's as full as you want it to be, of temporary exhibitions, but the only permanent exhibit will be a plaque. A kunstar? Mm-hm. You gotta hand it to the Germans. Every cultural institution's going to be doing back-flips cos they can all use it. It's just an empty shell? Yeah. Well, that certainly reflects the Prime Minister, I mean, his take on the arts. You know what the arts is? I mean, what arts becomes? THEME MUSIC So it's a gallery? Arts hall. And this will be the spot? Yeah, pretty much. See, I think it will cast a visual shadow. No, no, Phillip. Just do this. PHILLIP: Do you stay for the whole thing? We had to. It was in the round so people would have noticed that we... How was it? A bit drawn out. Once we realised that Godot fellow wasn't going to turn up, we were just sort of waiting for the end, really, and we might have pulled the wrong rein there. (LAUGHS) That's Beckett for you. No, it was actually Diane did the booking. Ian, I hope the PM doesn't take this the wrong way, but it's a little hard to meet in here with this where it is. Really? Yeah. Well, all you have to do is this... I really like the way the back wall is embedded into the ground. Yeah. It symbolises the poem Ozymandias. Is that German? No, it's Shelley. It's a poem stating that in the end, all monuments sink into the sand to be forgotten. We might need to rethink this bit, I think. Closed Captions by CSI Don Angel - Worldwide Business Group. Railway Union Monthly - Pete Mandela. I'm just dropping off my curriculum vitae in relation to the position of journalist. Nice to meet you, Ray. Nice to meet you. What have you been doing since The Australian? I've been ill. What causes chronic fatigue? Leslie. It's Leslie and the Lord, our saviour. PEOPLE CHANT Need you to pay this off. (Scoffs) If I had a dollar for every time you'd said that. It would not help in the slightest. SONG: # This country is the best around # You can be what you want to be # It's got great infrastructure # And a top economy # It can make you a movie star # A swimmer or a gymnast # It's a land of opportunity

# If you want to start a small business # A small business. # This yours? No, it's part of the Worldwide Group of companies. Well, do you work for them? Yes. I'm their senior journalist.

I put money in before, for a choc waffle, and got nothing. Yeah. Sorry. Alex, get out of the way, please. Get off.

Just get out and get your bags. That hurts. Your own kids are great but everyone else's are little shits, aren't they? Alex, just stop it, please. If I have to get out. What? Says best before March '04. These are good for another couple of weeks. So, our circulation is 30,000, Colin, which, um, actually translates into a readership of almost 100,000, which really is outstanding value

because I'm looking at your Local Leader ad and, mate, you are being swamped. I mean you're like Switzerland in the middle of bloody Europe. Sure it's all very noble