Note: Where available, the PDF/Word icon below is provided to view the complete and fully formatted document
Disclaimer: The Parliamentary Library does not warrant the accuracy of closed captions. These are derived automatically from the broadcaster's signal.
The Chaser's War On Everything 2007 -

View in ParlView

(generated from captions) Oh. That's my phone number there. LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE Unreal. as the New York Police Department. Interestingly enough, same number Alan Brough and Myf Warhurst. And our two captains APPLAUSE song from the one and only Sammy J. We leave you tonight with an original Spicks and Specks. Thanks for watching Goodnight, Australia. My name's Adam Hills. is much funnier backwards (Sings) # This song much is song this # Backwards funnier that I wrote recently # It's a little song I that song little a it's # Recently wrote first that flipped I suppose # Toes your on you keep to, Myf,

to keep you on your toes # Suppose I flipped that first, Myf, # Yeah, I am not afraid to try # Try to afraid not am I It is # This is my backwards song my is this... # # It's song backwards my backwards song. OK, guys, that's been I can go with it now. I guess there's nowhere else I could use the word 'Race car'. but 'race car' Some people don't know this spelt backwards. is actually 'race car' Ah, now you're gonna get... Race car. It's called a palindrome. I love that word. the same backwards, like 'Hannah'. That's a word that's spelt is a palindrome but you'd be wrong. You could say that this whole song there's nothing more embarrassing And we all know a simple grammatical term. Whoo. than misunderstanding that's been my backwards song Anyway, guys, and I hope you've enjoyed it. backwards my been that's anyway. It enjoyed you've hope I and song

simple a misunderstanding Whoo. Term grammatical there's know all we. than embarrassing more nothing

song whole this that say could you. Wrong be you'd but palindrome a is same the spelt that's word a that's. Word that love Hannah like backwards It Getting you're now, ah. Palindrome a called it's race car. actually is race car Backwards spelt race car But this know don't people some. with go can I else nowhere guess I Race car word the use could I now it song backwards my been that's OK. This is my backwards song. listening for thanks. Specks and Spicks Spicks and Specks. Thanks for listening, Closed Captions by CSI This program is not subtitled CC

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Hello. Very good evening

wherever you are right around

Australia welcome to 'Chasers

War on Everything' as we say

goodbye to football for

another year Congratulations

the the Geelong Cats and the Melbourne Storm for their premiership victories over

the weekend of I love the

celebrations at a dwrand

final when the teams see how

much expensive champagne they

can waste. They go nuts A

great waste. There is an

unfortunate copy cat effect.

I was out to dinner on

Saturday night and the some

south thanks what the proper - the sommelier thought it

was the proper way to never

the champagne. My poor date

copped it. I was trying to

impress her. That is

Australian. That should be

part of the citizenship test

This is that new test that

started this week whereas

prioring citizens have to

pass a quiz about values and

history. It is basic stuff -

what date is Australia Day,

Anzac Day a good date to

chuck a sickie? You teed to

answer 12 out of 20 questions

correctly to become an Aussie

constituent accident We are

sitting the bar high. I have

a feeling because most of the

migrant that sat this week

passed but I have a feeling Australians probably would

not pass that test. I think

you be would right. What year

did the European settlement

of Australia start? 1902.

The 60s, be 0, I am not

sure. Of this been here

maybe 2000 years, yeah. Who was the first Prime Minister

of Australia? Whitlam I

think. Was interest Paul

Keating. Which day of the

year is Australia Day?

February sometime. Isn't it

February What day? Is it a

Wednesday? What is the

population of Australia?

Three billion, three million,

there is too many people to

count. In Australian there

would not be many, it is all

over populated which new Australians so it not really

Australia, it is Europe. You

are welcome. They call

Australia clever country

Having seen that I think Rove

should start a new TV show,

are you smarter in the migrant just each the

boat. We will employ a highly

qualified doctor like Mohamed

Haneef but someone like this

he gets the stay Is it a

Wednesday ? Elsewhere this

week there was a story about

Australia's rental crisis and

just how difficult and

competitive it is getting for

renters to find a place.

There was a flat on the

weekend 100 people turned out, it is a desperate market. Everybody is dripping

their standards to get a roof

over their heads they can

afford but how un-fussy are

they prepared to be? We put

out the 'Open for Inspection'

sign to see how desperate

renters have become. It is a

big spacious house. If you

come in here. This is the

room. Really? It is not as

bad as it looks. That is an

interesting offer. Where

would I put my stuff? You

got shelf space Like

clothes? There is some

towel hooks there. We use

this as a bedroom too and

that has just become free so

you can sleep in the

laundry. $95 a week, right?

Yes. Give it ago. That is a

hot water unit, that keeps

you warm in winter and so

forth Hi. How you going?

This does not happen that

oven. Like he wouldn't do

that if you were sleeping.

This is room this. Would be

your bedroom. You can almost

put a second bed in if you

wanted to have someone over

or sublet. That is a bit of a

hazard. This is for lease at

the moment for $90. Very

airy, unlike under the stairs

some people say this has too

many air. Rain is an issue

but put up cardboard or an

umbrella. This is $120 a

week, you would have to their

the pedestrian with George

and me and my girlfriend so

there is four in the bed. I

wouldn't consider that to be

honest. No? It would fuck

my back up bad time. You

would stay clean You could

take an Asian or something,

they would future in. I can

just show you, I will try,

you see. Not bad, sort

of.... No man. My back is

shit already so. Good luck

with the search just let us

know if you want to put your

name down I will still consider it though, not this

one, but.... Maybe the shed

or the laundry? Great.

This's better.

APPLAUSE When a man's

confident he needs Stinx

Deodorant. Destroying

unwanted odours and the ozone

layer. Stinx Deodorant for

the ultimate protection

against everything! Experience the Stinx

Deodorant effect today. Now

regular viewes of this show

will have noticed we are

slightly obsessed by Persian

Rug Warehouses on this show.

We love a good carpet

clearance Did somebody say

carpet clearance? No,

Andrew. What we really like

about Rug Warehouses is not

him it is their over-the-top

marketing, unbelievable big discount, closing-down sales

that seem to last forever.

Haven't you got enough

attention? Never to be

repeated price repeated week

after week but it has come to

my attention some rug sellers

are letting the side down.

They are selling rugs but not

using the cliched sales hype

That is tantamount to

heresy. They are way out of

line, I decided to do it

right by launching it by a

book and launching a

crackdown. Julian from Rug

Warehouse inspections. Just

noticed, Sir, your store, you

do not appear to have any

signs up There is no

signs. You are in the rug straight is important you

have a sale on We have been

in business since 1952. How

long have you been closing

down? We never close

down. You do not close down,

but... the We have never had

a closing-down sale. I am not

like the other businesses

reduce the price then....

That is right. They are

complying with the industry

standards, why aren't you?

Put this out, Sir. Cheat the

customers, they expect that.

Closing down. That is good.

This is a store where everything must go? Look, I

am just here to sell. Has the

boss gone crazy here? You

are the boss. Have you gone

crazy, Sir? No, mate I am

still all here, still all

intact. Never had moments of

madness where you reduce the

prices drastically? No. I am

going to Ishmael u you an

order that you have to close,

you don't have to close

obviously but you have to say

you are closing down This is

my business. If you continue

to do that your business will

get a reputation for fair

dealing. Ever appeared in

ads, rolled yourself up in a

carpet? No. Why not?

Because you are selling

rugs. I am issuing you with

an order. Lie down I am the

boss here. I am the boss now

okay. Ready, go Everything

is massively reduced. That's

much better! Tomorrow night

on 10, strap your sifnls for

world's most invent

interviews 4. All new

inappropriate animus judged

interview opportunities from

the high s.... to the lows.

What were they thinking?

The world's most inconvenient

interviews 4. 9.30 tomorrow

on 10 ! I was reading the

other day that in Israel they

recently introduced the

world's first Kosher mobile

phone which I am sure came as

a huge relief to all the Jews

forced to use non-Kosher

phones presumably made out of

pork What makes this phone

Kosher is it does not have

SMS the internet access

cameras because they can

tempt Jews into sin. Now

the authorities in Israel

have set up their own phone

network where calls to Kocher

phones are much cheaper than

calls to non-Kosher plans

Calls to me then are 23 cents

a minute, heaven help you if

you want the call a

Palestinian. It's great

orthodox Jews have their own

network and they have their

own 0055 chat lines which are

brilliant. Check out the ads

Hot rab eyes are standing by

now waiting for your call.

Hundreds of fun single rabbis

who just love talking Hebrew.

Call 1800 juicy and choose

from our range of orthodox,

ultraorthodox, and ultra,

unorthodox. Are t rabbi

phone chat line. It's like

your own private sin George waiting to happen.

Given how many of Anna

Coren's segues we have

presented you would be

forgiven to think that is all

she does She does

meaningless gibberish.

That's right, we now present

the most confusing introduction to a report ever

written. Lawyers don't laugh

at least not in public when their pursuing a little guy

and the bill is being paid by

a big corporation. There is

much more of that right

across Australia these days.

Ron When with the answer to

what's in a name? That

report was of course about

starfish. We actually found

out who scripted that surreal

bit of nonsense. I was

originally a Beatles out take

done when the group was

savagely off their tits. (To the tune of 'Lucy in the Sky

with Diamonds')

# Lawyers don't laugh

# At least not in public

# When they are pursuing a

little guy

# By a big corporation there

is a lot more of that

# Right across Australia

these days...

# No-one has the answer to

what's in a name

# No-one wins with the

answer to what's in a name

# No-one went with the

answer to what's in a name

# Ahhh.... (laughs) What do

you think of that, Yoko?

(Speaks Japanese) Onto

today's lesson now when

cupboard is bare Reporters

are always on the look out

for an A grade news story but

when you can't find them you

settle for a bmplt grade and

if you can't find them you

get a C grade and if you....

Cut to the chase if you

could. If you can't even get

to a Y grade story then you

get yourself a job on 'A

Current Affair'. Just wonder if I could ask you a few

questions about the amount of

time you spent having a

shower? They are barred us

from bringing the dogs into a

bin gonchts the man banned if

a club buffet for showing too

much of his belly. They were

so offended they banned you?

Yes, either stay covered up.... The story about the

dogs banned if bingo is huge

news. There were massive

protests in the street What

if you can't find a story at

all? Easy, you dig up a zany

conspiracy theory. How did

you feel that is an endo-cast

of an alien head? I think

it looks like an alien. Yes,

an alien with a rock for a

head Of course crack pots

come in all shapes and sizes.

They are not even all human.

Reporter Brady Hall was so

desperate me found himself a

television-watching Shetland

pony. Keep an eye out for end

and see how disgusted he is

Oprah is on. Oh dear. That is

right, Brady. "Oh dear!" The

problem with running Brady

Hall's level stories the

viewers do not give a stuff

about the content which is

why you have to jazz up a

harmless topic with just a

little bit, not too much,

danger. Tonight we expose

the seedy underbelly of black

market jobs in the dangerous

cut-throat world of trolley

collection. There is a seedy

under belty this. Morning my

trolley got collected by Al

Capone. God it hurt. You

should have not in is a black

market that trolley

collection industry Apparent

lit is a cut-throat world. We have learned the techniques

for creating something out of

nothing now let's watch

'Today Tonight' put them in

action. They filled up three,

that's right three, entire

reports about this woman She

is 21, mother ever 1, wants

10 more. Did you get that?

They have found a sing moll

there who wants to have 11

children She has 11

children? No, she want to

have 11 children She want to

have 11 children. Genuine

non-story and just how far

did 'Today Tonight' manage to

hype this up? Consultant

Nick Tontatori The contravenes the United Nations convention on the

rights of the child No

lesser authority than the UN

could deal with this woman's hypothetical wish to have

babies. A human rights

disaster, Andrew, so we went

state to Amnesty

International to see what the

hell they were doing about

it. We have a important human

rights to discuss, you with

wasting time on Burma, what

about the woman whether want

11 babies. How can you sleep

when this woman wants to have

babies? This woman wants a

million babies. We can only concentrate on the

fundamental human rights

What about these innocent

dogs, let them play bingo.

How about campaigning about

that?

# Take my life away lovely lady

# Oh yes, yes

# Take my life away on a

holiday.... 8 nights aboard

our new luxury liner and you

will think you have died and

gone to heaven and chances

are you probably will. P&O D

Cruises for the final trip of

a lifetime

# Take my life away please P&O D....

APPLAUSE Great holiday

adeal. I might climb aboard

A few weeks ago I was at

Uluru, it was beautiful but

they make you feel pretty

guilty about the Rock. I

decided not to climb because

they have all these signs up

around the base urging you

not to climb Uluru because it

has great significance for

the local indigenous people

Most tourists respect that

but it got me thinking are

there any other landmarks in

Australia that you could make

tourists feel guilty about

visiting. Are you climbing

the Bridge today? Yes. We

are from local white

population and it is a very

sacred site and we ask you do

not climb over the Bridge.

We were going to climb it. We

are from England. You were

going to climb it? Had you

been warned at all of the cultural significance of the

bridge? No, not at

all. This icon represents the

bell Kerr of of wealth in

Sydney and it is just now

being walked over.. yes, it

is wrong. It is wrong That

is a sacred site people, 80

years of white history, you

are just trading on it, have

respect for the local white

elders. Would you be upset

if we didn't do it? We have

to do it. You can't. It

actually has significance I

didn't realise it would

offend anybody. It brings

together the harbour areas which are of great

significance to us, it is off

Ken written about our our

local text, Domain t real

estate section Are you

climbing the bridge? We are

asking you to are not the

climb the principle because

it is very sacred to the white population of Sydney.

It's tough. I understand,

your daughter is pushing you,

this is the cultural

significance of the white

population. Her birthday dark

Sydney, harbour climb?

Paid. I really feel bad for

doing this but these elders

who - they are thrind

building of the bridge. We

have to respect it Sorry

about that. I am sad. I am

sorry. Alright,

thanks. Thank you anyway.

Ladies and gentlemen we

have a very special musical

guest right now. Here to

perform for us live please

give it up for Tim Freedman

from The Whitlams.

# I was drinking on King Street

# They shut at 2

# Met a girl at the

Marlborough, at the Court House too

# So we brought a book from Goulds

# Ate at Thai Paton

# Grab add night cap at Kalitos

# Turned it all into a song

# But there's a problem

# After just one verse

# I am out of Newtown

reference es

# There's a thousand songs

I've written and they are all

about bloody Newtown

# Walked past the Newtown school

# Swam at the Newtown pool

# Caught a bus from Newtown

# And got off at Newtown...

# I got funeral on at 4

# But I can't go

# It's in Enmore

# There's no aphrodisiac

like Newtown....

# Truth, beauty and a

Turkish kebab # I've got

this problem, I can't finish this song

# I need one more Newtown reference....

# I will just get out the

street directory, there must

be something they haven't

mention bad Newtown

# Yes, a back street called

Watkin Laneway and that

rhymes with

# Newtown railway!

# Station....

APPLAUSE

If you need something

fixed then you have come to

the right place as we dive

under the bonnet for another

week. The first problem is

John Laws, yes, Golden

Tonsils himself, more bronze

than gold these days judging

by his ratings but his big

problem seems to be complying

with the 'cash for comment'

rule. Lawsy is forced to own

up every time he mentions a

sponsor on air a he usually

does it with cow bell Toyota

are major sponsors and we are

delighted be able to ring the

bell. Can't say why his

ratings are dropping His standards are dropping

because in a single broadcast

Lawsy made 20 favourable comments about Telstra

without declaring them as a

sponsor Not a cow bell to be

heard. I can only assume he

had lost his cow bell so I

took him a new one. Brought

you a cow bell Lawsy! It's

got a bell for you so you

don't lose it next time you

mention Telstra. Someone has

just walked in here with a

calf. What a beautiful calf.

You can have it. It's for

you. Two lots of bullshit in

there! I will take it to

your car Lawsy. Okay, what

can I do for you? Ring the

bell. Sponsors! Okay, the

problems do not stop there.

Next up is Burma. I am glad

we solved the Lawsy problem

before Burma. We have our

priorities right. Burma is in

chaos. Pro-democracy fighters

are getting killed while the

international community does

nothing Seeing the Buddhist

monks turning out in support

of political change. What is

people in skimpy dress,

people love it. The Burmese

people are getting head from our very own Australian

Federal Police. They trained

the Burmese law enforcement officials but do the Copse

have all the training

equipment they need? I just

got this for the Australian

Federal Police training in

Burma. Okay. Sorry. Must

already have it!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Well,

once again that is just about

it for another week. Any

plans for the rest of the

week, guys? I was hoping to

go raving actually because

obviously I am such a

raver. Very hard the find a

good rave venue these days I

think I read the Underground

scene has dwindled because

the police have cracked down

on drugs. It is not 1988 but

a few venues still pump out

hard techno house and most

are retail stores Clothing

stores Blair out loud techno

beats so what better place

for you and your dance mates

to throw your next rave?

Let's get munted!

Let's go! (Loud techno

music) It's a party man.

They are shutting down the

party. We'll go now. They

said we can stay here!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

What a vibe, man Just to

remind you, you can catch

Fatboy Slim playing live on

New Year's Eve. You can

podcast the Show at the web

site. Thank you for watching

us. Until next week. Goodnight!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Closed Captions by CSI

Well, one of my big duties, and I've been doing it for the last five years or so, is evacuation procedures. ALARM WHOOPS There's a fire in the school, everyone! There's a fire. There's a fire in the school. Get out, quick! I find I use my acting skills to create the drama of the situation. (Gasps) Oh, I just can't believe this is happening. Oh! ALARM WHOOPING CONTINUES Oh, Christ! It adds a lot of realism, and it really freaks the kids out. Ms Allen, from the library, has got third-degree burns. One big problem a lot of schools

are having to deal with at the moment is terrorism. It's a big issue. So I have a drill which caters for that too. There's a terrorist attacking the school. I'm serious! Get down. Get in a tight ball, everyone. And I also do what I call a 'Random Drill' which is... I just spring some kind of emergency onto the kids and see how they deal with it. There's a kid in the school with a gun. There's a kid with a gun. There's kids down. Go! I'm serious. Mrs Wong, get them out. There's a paedophile in the school. There's a paedophile. He's in the school. Get out. He's on the school grounds. Yes. I think a school with a good evacuation procedure is a school that survives. THEME MUSIC That will be at lunchtime on Friday. It will be in full costume so you boys can get used to the skirts. What if you can't be fucked doing it on the day? Well, I've just come back from a weekend workshop on 'EPBSM', which is 'Extreme Behavioural Problem Student Management'. I want to see Thomas, Joseph, Leon, and Jonah up the front here. And the rest of you can go. What the fuck for, sir? Come and talk to me, boys. What they've found is that if you have a problem child and you give them extra responsibility, then they can rise to it. I want to assign to you a group of Year 7 boys who are not coping well in the school. I'll assign one to each of you. I want you to be, what I call a "big brother" to them. No way, sir. That sucks. No way! We hate Year 7s. It's a shit idea. OK. Hear me out. Now, Jonah, you be the leader. It's not our fault they've got no friends. Yeah. It's NOT your fault. But as an added incentive, if you do this program seriously, I'll let you do a breakdancing demo at assembly on Poly Day. Thank you, sir. Man! Sure, man. You've got to do the program. You're a legend, sir. OK. Alright. Let's go, boys. Look, I'll come and introduce you to them at recess. Yes, sir. Thank you. Alright. ENERGETIC MUSIC PLAYS Roll it, roll it. Keep it sexy. Remember you're having the best night of your lives. Wiggle the bum more, please, Candace. We are midway through rehearsals for 'Annabel Dickson - the Musical'. And the 'machine', I call it, is finding its rhythm. Remember, Annabel, really going off, you've taken the ecstasy. SONG: # She's a naughty girl with a bad... # These are the schoolyard bins, but we've added this lighting effect. These are lovely, these are our school benches. If you imagine coming on...

These are the ecstasy pills which are a lightweight polystyrene for... ..for dancing purposes. These are called the 'cutters'

for the kids that are into the cutting...on the arms. So various suicidal themes which the teenagers are into. I'm finding that I'm weaving the character of Mr G into the musical a lot more than I expected I would. (Sings) # She's a naughty with a bad habit # Bad habit for drugs... # Sell it to me, Mr G.

Matthew is...my dream Mr G. He's got the look, he's a very... He's a good looking boy. (Sings) # She's a naughty girl # With a bad habit... # And these are our costume ladies. Say hello, Mums. ALL: Hello. We're doing a variation on the school uniform. I'm just tizzing it up with some more stage-friendly fabrics. These are our slut outfits. The slut outfits the girls will be wearing in the nightclub scene. Your Rosie's going to lovely in that onstage, Mrs Travis. Isn't she? Yeah. I'll leave you to it. You haven't got long, so... Don't... Less chat, more sewing. (Sniggers) OK. Guys, listening, please? Raise your hands in the air if you're happy with new girls' school uniform concept. It's been an amazing week. I've set up a Student Representative Council, an SRC.

All my friends are in it, and Ashley 'cause she begged to be in it.

And we're doing what we can to make some really cool changes around the school. Mobile phones allowed in class for texting purposes only. ALL: Yep. Ah? It's a bit distracting. Overruled. I'm President. The school grounds round here are so crap, seriously. I'm thinking, like, Diet Coke machines along there, guys. Yeah.

The mirrors in the girls' toilets are really crap and dirty. They're so small. So we really wanna get big ones, really massive ones, full-length, so you can see your footwear. We need another cleaner. Let's get two more full-time cleaners. We wanna get a girls-only Year 11 common room, where there's laptops and stuff for everyone. That'd be cool, Ja'mie. So there's, like, wireless Internet. And, like... You know, so we can just chat on MSN at lunchtimes to each other. Tarnish this. Yeah. Like, an Indian kind of thing. Yeah. These should be higher. They're so low, guys. Look what I have to do. Awesome idea. Let me get that down. What about a study room? Ashley... Shut up, please. One of the big things we're doing - and I'm so excited about it - is we're doing a Year 11 formal. I can't believe you guys have never had one here. We did, but they banned it because they think it's a distraction. Is that why? Oh, I thought it was the povo factor. No. You been to about five, haven't you? Yeah. Well, six actually. It's really embarrassing. Six formals? Yeah, six formals. I started going in Year 7. I just want to show these guys how to have a good time. Going to a public school doesn't mean you can't go off. Know what I mean? Fuck, fuck. We never should have fuckin' agreed to it. They look gay as. They look like they don't even have pubes. Come on down, boys. These are your Year 7 little brothers. Guys, these are your Year 8 mentors. You guys have to find each other every morning, every recess, every lunchtime. And you younger guys, you know, like we talked about - if you haven't any issues, any problems, you talk to your big brother. Alright. Now, Jonah, as team leader, I thought you might run a little 'getting to know you' session. So I'll leave you with that responsibility. OK, sir. OK. good luck, guys. (Whispers) Fuck. You got the fat one. Sucked in. My one's... You're got a fuckin' ranga and a fat one. I'm gonna talk to them. Don't talk to them. We have to. I'm not talking to them. Screw you. We have to. If you want the breakdancing demo we have to fucking do it. Fuck you. I'm not talking. I'm gonna do it. So, have you got problems? BOY: Nice new friends, Jonah. Stuck the fuck up. They're not my friends, mother-fucker. I have to it as a program. They're homos! So...um... Paedophile Pete said that you've got social problems or some shit. The fat one - tell me first. You are down like this... I needed a fairly big space to put on the show and the hall wasn't big enough. So I've booked the gym till the end of term. Come in quietly, grab your balls and leave.

So I'm Phys Ed's least favourite person at the moment. Shut the door, please, David. I decided that I'm going to do the show as an arena spectacular. The arena-style seating will cascade upwards in a circular motion around.

We're hiring that in. Normally you play to the front of a stage.

Within the arena, it's all around, it's around everywhere. I'm performing there, there, there, there. I'm using Toby the Down syndrome boy. He's back. He auditioned for the show, didn't get in, he was devastated. So I've brought him back as my assistant. You need to get a highlighter and highlight these points for me. He's really a sounding-board, if I have ideas we chat about that. And...you know, he's my little creative advisor. What do you think about getting Mr G and Celine to do two circuits instead of one? Yeah. What do you think, one or two? I think, one. He sits at his desk. He's not really allowed to leave the desk. Buy, you know, he's getting to see how it works. Where's a pen? Give me a pen, please? I'm sorry, Ja'mie. We can't have the formal. It's been a blanket rule here now for five years that there are no formals. Why not? Well, it's a distraction from school work. And we just can't be held accountable for your actions at a formal. We really wanted the formal. It's a formal. Just let us have it. I'm sorry. Ja'mie, girls, it's just not gonna happen. OK? Oh, my God. I can't believe... (All talk at once) I can't believe that just happened. Seriously... It's so bad. I'm not taking no for an answer. We've gotta think of more ideas. I REALLY want the formal. There isn't anything... Hey, well, he... He was, like, "No!" He was so definite, wasn't he? He's got NO good reason. He's like "No, you can't have a formal because I say." He's just a dick. We've gotta think of something else, guys. We WILL think of something else! There's nothing. It's terrible. Shut up, guys. I just thought of an idea. What? Oh, my God. We could do, like, a hunger strike.

Like, just don't eat. Not eat at all? For how long? Don't eat, and say, "We're not eating until you let us have the formal." Such a good idea. Seriously... Get the whole of Year 11 involved. We'll go down to the oval. Yes. And have a banner. At first period tomorrow. Saying, like, "Give us a formal, or else." Oh, my God! Great idea. "..we'll starve ourselves to death." We should text everyone about it. Let's go! Hey, Ranga! Ranga! Go and get me a strawberry Break from the canteen. You pay for it. Tell your Ranga to do it. We've worked out that there's some good things about having the little brothers around. Like, you can make them do shit for you, like, do your homework. Write this for me, bro. Do neat writing. I have to hand this shit in. It's kind of good, kind of bad. They just make us do all this stuff. It's, like, really mean. Hey, Ranga! They call us names we don't like. They call me 'fatty'. They call me 'ranga'. And they call me 'gay'. Go and get my bag from my locker. And don't drop it. Get the strawberry milk first. We have to be careful when teachers go past. Give me the ball. So we make it look we're going the program well. Just teaching the boys about some footy. Hey, sir. Just talking about life and social problems. What do you need to know? Alright. Carry on. Yeah. So, little brother... I want to thank you all for your role in meeting the deadlines, so thank you for that. Sorry, I'm late. Sorry. Rehearsal - hectic as. Greg, I need a copy of your script for your show, please, 'cause Annabel's parents are very keen to read it. OK? Yes. Moving on. The ramps should be done in the demountables today for the new Special Ed room. So we'll be shifting the multimedia gear into that space that they've occupied. Sorry. What...what's going where? Special Ed's moving into one of the demountables. Temporarily? No, permanently. I've had the room fixed up and there's ramps there and so on.

No, no, that's... That's where we're putting the Performing Arts Centre. That is the site for the Performing Arts Centre. We agreed that we were gonna leave them empty so the Department agrees to knock them down. We talked about it a million times. Greg, drama's important. I know that. We haven't got the money... Why do you think I'm working my head off on the production? So we DO have the money to build it. Look, I appreciate that, I know you're doing your very best. But I just can't change the plans now. Now, Greg, a couple of the parents of the Special Ed kids have asked why their children are NOT going to be in the... Special Ed? Yeah. The Special Ed kids didn't get through the audition. Well, I'd like to see that they get an involvement in the production. We can't have a school with prejudice and exclusivity and so on. So I'd like you to make sure those kids are included. I don't see why I should be making exceptions for kids that didn't get through the audition. Well, Greg, I'm telling you to do that, please? I don't want to have to ask you again. OK? Fine. Now, the last item... Starving for the formal! Starving for the formal. We're meeting on the oval first period. OK. Starving for the formal. Mr Cameron is totally gonna freak out when he sees