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The Thick Of It -

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(generated from captions) Mrs Bun, the baker's wife?

She deserves better. Mr Vanstone sounded most unsuitable to me. But they're engaged. But not married... ..yet. (Whispers) Instinct. INSPIRING MUSIC PLAYS

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Minister. he wants. Bye-bye. Morning. Morning, It's up to the PM. I'll go wherever your 8.30 with Malcolm? You just off to Yep. First one. Into the lion's den. Viper's pit. The lair of the white worm. The belly of the beast. The eye of the snake. Mm. asked to the 8.30. That's true. Not all of departments get be inside the tent pissing out. with the big hitters. Always best to So it's a great honour to be there 8.30, at Environment and Rural Affairs, Absolutely. If you were doing this Probably at Coffee Republic. wouldn't you? you'd be very much outside the tent, Yeah. Good luck. You'll be fine. Covered in piss. You don't need good luck. Yeah. a figure of speech. No, no, no, it's just What about the...piss? OK. I'm sure there's a way of.. I'd better go. See you later, Robyn. Robyn? Robyn, sorry. you can from Malcolm about...about... Could you try and pick up any signals ..about the reshuffle, you know. cos I'm going to be late. I've really got to go now things at the last one in. Apparently they shout Yeah, God, don't be late! they'll have to answer to me. If anyone shouts at you, I'll box his ears. absolutely crap. Why? Box his ears? If that was flirting, that was How long is it since you've had sex? Anyway about this morning... internet service provider. That is between me and my You've actually gone red, Glenn. You have. You've gone red. I have not gone red. That's red. Look, he can hardly walk properly. Yeah. little bit of a think OK, I want to have a Morning, morning, morning. Morning. issues with regard to yesterday. about some of our presentational Liam on Newsnight. of a problem last night with There seems to have been a bit did not appear to know the lines? have a minister on last night who I would like to know, why did we He's got a new baby... before... Grilled him? It's not his fault. We grilled him I don't care if he's tired. I don't care if he's got a new baby. what he was fucking talking about. He looked like he didn't know got to appear as if he does, right? was fucking talking about, but he's He doesn't know what he

yours, and yours. yours, yours, yours, and yours, And that is your job and your job For all your respective ministers. Give them the lines. Right? Yep. Give them all the lines to say? She's just with us today. This is the delightful Robyn. So let's be gentle with her, please. at the Department of Social Affairs. She's standing in for Terri Coverley Stuffed Anuses or the Department No remarks about the Department of

or the Department of Sod All. of Stupid Announcements, Right, next. Reshuffle? get anything past you. I can see we're not going to Yes, there is a pending reshuffle. who helped herself to a samosa... There was a young girl from DOSA Sorry, just a bit of fun. Ah! No, next time. We don't know anything. No, yes, well, definitely... Um, yes, the reshuffle. we can't say anything, but even I don't know anything, so, um, don't, so we both can't and won't. if we did, we wouldn't, but we in there with all guns blazing, What do you think? Should I go Last cabinet before reshuffle. of ha-cha-cha-cha-cha, you know? new policy ideas and do a big sort Buddha? You don't have to do either. Or should I be more "mmm", like nod wisely every so often and just, You could just sort of nod quietly, pocket just in case you feel... have a policy in your back I've got in my back pocket? OK. What's the policy carriages on intercity trains. Tripling the number of quiet hard-on moment that's going to be. Oh, wow, what a big exciting think of that? Straight out of there. That's not bad at all. Did you just you are going to... Hugh, after Cabinet, it in during the conversation. Yeah. I'll pop in and just slip Talk to Tucker about the reshuffle.

intended to do with Robyn, I suspect. Good. Much as you What about Julius Nicholson? Right, next. security from the Home Office. at the MoD taking over UK I got it yesterday he was looking mob. I'm spending half my time That was flown by one of Nicholson's that Nicholson's putting out there. dealing with this rubbish and him not getting along. piece in the pipeline about you There's a Sunday respected adviser. Julius Nicholson is a hugely I wondered if you'd got a line. and his blue-sky vision and He now has a wide-ranging brief government to go, helicopter thinking will enable this "beyond delivery and beyond that". in his own phrase, and comes up with some stupid idea stick his baldy head round your door That's the line, OK? And if he does a department to count the moon, yellow or let's set up about policemen's helmets should be Alzheimer's disease, you know? just treat him like someone with "Oh, yeah, that's lovely. Just say to him, "We must talk about that later," OK? KNOCK AT DOOR is it going to have... In no way, shape or form fuck the fuck off. Come the fuck in or Nicholson's flown. It's just something that I'll come the fuck in, then. tits?" You know? "What would it be like if men had It's a kind of brain exercise, like, That's very good actually. Mark Mardell, yeah. know as soon as possible. What? I thought you would want to All right then, see you then. Hugh. Terri's dad... Yeah? the reshuffle? Yeah, I have. Right, so you've come to talk about No news at the moment. Yeah? In terms of shuffly stuff, how is Neil? I mean, is his heart...? Have you not heard? No. He's paralysed. Oh, no. Neil's on wheels. You're kidding. He's a vegetable. Oh, my God. Yeah. Well, fuck you very much. his department. You are kidding. Mind you, that means you could have but I know nothing. mouth-to-mouth on the reshuffle, I know you're looking for as we speak. Are you in, sir? on the back of a Coldplay CD The PM is still working it out Nice to see you again. What Oh, this is Julius Nicholson. Hello. proposals have you got for us today? How about a ban on sandcastles? FSG briefing this afternoon. out if you're coming to my No, I just wanted to find FSG briefing? Forward Strategy Group. Well, you know, Julius, I think I'm just going to have to send one of the boys. I have got so much work to do here, what with this... Well... .the MoD. As the minister said to the prince, "Don't be surprised if we abolish you." I'll leave it with you. That was a bit, um... Are you all right? I'm fucking all right. I can fucking look after myself. Under the spotlight now, aren't you? Well, you should just watch your own back, what with the missus dripping poison into the big guy's ear about you. What missus? The Prime Minister's missus. Oh, you don't know? She doesn't like the cut of your jib, son. She doesn't... She's hardly seen my jib. I just had a conversation with her at the New Year's party, that's all. Why doesn't she like me? I mean, what's not to like? You just didn't click. We couldn't click! We were talking about the fucking Euro! How are you supposed to click over the Euro? It's fucking impossible. Don't take it so personally. You're telling me she doesn't like me as a person! How else am I supposed to take it? Robyn, can you send these back to archives cos they're just not even... It's not highlighted. I'm not gonna plough through that myself. I also need the last four months of the European Digest. I'll... Is it because you fancy me? Is that what this is all about? Sorry? Why you're so bloody rude to me. That's got to be the reason. Other people, when they come in here, they knock and they say "hello", "good morning", "thank you" and "nice top" sometimes. Right, um... Well, no. I mean, for a start, I don't fancy you. I don't know where you got that, but it's best to get it out of your head. If I'm slightly polite to you, on a semi-regular basis, will that, in any way bypass it? That would definitely do it. Well, thank you very much for the work you do. Hi, by the way, how are you? I'm very well actually. You look lovely. Thank you. Can I have the fucking digest, please? That would be terrific. All you had to do was ask, please. Yeah, well, all I did do was ask.

Phwoar! It was a joke. Hello. Hello. Um... Morning, Minister. Um, I need to have a word with you, Ollie. Then can you get me Terri on the phone, please? Where is Glenn? Er, Nicholson hauled him in for one of his chats. Oh. One of his bright ideas for inflatable churches for rural communities or tattooing immigrants. Apparently, the PM's wife doesn't like me.

Did you know this? No. Um...why? Well, two reasons - cut of my jib and insufficient clicking. So I'll be a minor footnote in British political history cos I didn't have an anecdote about Charlotte Church's puppies. We can brainstorm small-talk... Ollie, realistically, I'm not going to get promotion, not while this Prime Minister's still in power? Not while he's married to this wife. Mind you, knowing your luck,

he'll leave her, she'll marry his replacement. I did mention your great quiet carriages thing and he just... ..went, you know. What does that mean? Fuck knows what it means, but I don't think it means, "Oh, Hugh, you're fantastic. "Here, become Home Secretary," and even if it did mean that, when he's in bed tonight with Mrs PM, she'll say, "What do you mean Hugh Abbott as Home Secretary? "The man is a social spastic and very probably a registered nonce, darling."

Terri on line one, and there's her dad's name. All right. Dad's name? Hell...hello. Hello, how are you? 'I'm not great actually, Hugh...' Yes, goodness me. Please be sure to send my best to...to... to your dad. Look, I heard today that the PM's wife doesn't like me. Did you know about this? 'Yeah, I did know that.' I know about the lack of click. Was there anything else? 'Hugh, my dad is dying.' Of course. Thanks so much for taking the time to talk to me Terri, really. It must be a...you know... Well, obviously, it's a very, very hard time for you and, it's just ironic that it happens to have coincided with such a very hard time for me. Because, you know, I thought I was solid with the reshuffle. But, er, now, you know with the not clicking bombshell... I need to give the impression that I'm not budging, I'm staying exactly where I am, you know, I'm here for ever, like, you know, like, um... like Ken, um... Livingstone? Russell? Hom? Barlow? Barlow, like Ken Barlow, I'm solid. Fucking arse clap. Robyn... Look, I don't want to say this too many times, but the fact is Nicholson's shafted us. He's cut us out of the 8.30 briefings. That's awful. Yes, I know, but for now, this department is no longer going to any of Malcolm's 8.30 briefings, OK? Tomorrow morning, I just stay here? That's right. I don't want to alarm Hugh... God, this gets worse! Listen to me, Robyn. He's got quite enough on his mind at the moment, so tomorrow morning, what you do is you leave here at the same time, about 8.20 and you fuck off out of and go and sit in a park or something, OK? Not tell Hugh? Yes. It's only temporary. I'm going to sort it out. Won't it just be a bit demeaning? desk drawer. Are you OK, Robyn? Question Time producers in her top Terri says there's a list of her inappropriately? Um, yeah. Have you been touching the producer's names, so Fuck off. Yes, I've got photo ops or, er, a little party? else, though, that I could do, like thanks for that and is there anything running social affairs. know, tell them how much I love Schmooze the broadsheets, you loves a party? that would work wouldn't it? Everyone 'Whatever, whatever.' Yeah, You'll go to a park. Which park? people do. Get your head round this. Yeah. Well, I don't personally, but I don't like Green Park. Just choose... Green Park. St James's Park. Which park do you like? Right, you go to St James's Park, then, OK? I think we should tell the Minister. Listen, Robyn, I really like you, but fuck off! Has he been touching you inappropriately again? Don't you start. Oh, God, I'm rubbish, apparently. That's why Nicholson has banned us from the 8.30 meetings, and I've got to go and sit in St James's Park and pretend I'm in a meeting drinking coffee all morning. I wouldn't worry. There should be about five of you there doing that. example of thinking out of the box Oh, God! This is just another I'll talk to you later, OK, bye. his fucking tree. I've got to go. by someone who's clearly out of what can I do you for? Malcolm Tucker. Julius Nicholson, Keith Percival. I am keen to have a chat with Yeah, er, that won't be possible. not. Anything else? the O'Rourke papers. I'm afraid And I need to read my power and authority you and I both know full well that Look, Malcolm, busy with real governmental work you've got a problem... Keith is so flows directly from the PM. If with you your ideas and theories. that he doesn't have time to discuss actually action at this moment. are not relevant to anything we can The O'Rourke papers That's slightly funny because when I played tennis with the PM, which I do, as you know, every Sunday, he was saying just how much he was looking forward to seeing that paper. He does think that your theories are interesting. He tells me that because I see him every day.

I also see him on a Sunday when I see his family and I make the fucking waffles. But I cannot allow you to come in here and interfere with the actual process of government. That is what is happening. Malcolm, that is my job. going to be big changes around here. Malcolm, Malcolm, sorry, there are announce all this at the reshuffle. Are there? Get used to it. We'll reshuffle is the business of the PM, With all due respect, Julius, the that is my business, my remit. and the PM alone, which means OK, I'll tell you what we should do. but now it's part of my remit. Malcolm, historically yes, who's got the biggest fucking remit? out, slap them on the table and see Why don't we just get our remits we need to talk about access... we need to talk about accommodation, Malcolm, It's a 21-man department. talking about accommodation? Accommodation? Why am I We can't fit upstairs. This is ideal. 21 men in here? Not just in here, no. This office here... Yeah. ..will be perfectly usable for not only myself... That's not an office. It is an office. It's a pantry. Whatever it is, we will refit this out as a working office and... Julius, it's a fucking pantry, look. So what? What we'll do is we will kick through this, bang, straight into the PM's private study. What are people going to say "Where is Julius Nicholson?" when they come in and they say, They'll start saying... am. They're going to ridicule you. I'm here. He's in the pantry! Here I bankrupt in the cupboard?" over the fact... "Where's the Why would they ridicule me a complete and utter prick? Why are you behaving like big break and you're on fucking burnish you up, when get your I'm supposed to polish you up, supposed to be... Come back in here! Call My Bluff or whatever it is, I'm Julius, get the fuck back in here! Hey, come back in here! Please, please, come back. Let's be civilised about it. Let's be civilised. There are human resources outside. There are human resources outside. fucking pantry, right. This Go over to your is a perfectly usable office space.

Cool it for one minute, OK? Cool it and just fucking... Cool it, shut up and fucking listen to me. This is an old fucking Georgian door. Do you know how long this has been here? No idea. Since the time of Elizabeth I, at least. Look. That does not open. Look at it. Try opening it. Surely what stuff you like. Malcolm! Character-building. Team-building. pantry. Open the fucking door. It's a pantry. It's my fucking Put your hand there, try to open it. don't want to touch it? Try! What's wrong, you opposition bit of skirt, is it? Emma. Emma, that's still your I was at the Woolsey with Minister, good morning. makes you sound like Sid James. Yeah. Don't say bit of skirt, Hugh, of the snakes. 8.30? Yep, into the house Good morning. Hello. You off for the benign, aren't they? Sorry. Grass snakes are to get the goss on the re-shuffle? can you try, really try, you know, Can you, how desperate you look at this point. I don't really care give it a go this time. OK, I will really So don't pussyfoot around. Thanks. I thought you'd be up all night doing the invitations for my party. Don't worry about that, look. I am desperate, I don't really want to look desperate, like Glenn. God, here we go again. Yeah, like Glenn what? Well, I was just saying, the last time you saw a snatch was... Basic instinct. You see that's good. That's the kind of repartee

I need with the PM's wife. It's that final "k-tsss", you see, that's the bit I'm missing. PM's wife, don't you? Well, OK. the snatch material with the Yeah, I think you could drop there's some sort of happy medium. Between the snatch and the Euro Bala-fucking-mory? What's the story in Morning, morning, morning. a big massive boat. of the moment? First to answer wins Who can tell me the issues she says Nicholson is squelching Alicia, so we're on standby at least. his way through the building, at a wall from a cannon? What about just firing him Can't we just kill him? Just a wall two feet away so he... garlic and Dettol in Cupasoup. We force-feed him a mixture of up the arse, Edward II? What about the old red hot poker a tree through the head I'd like to nail him to in a slow and painful death. his body eating off all the flesh and watch lice slowly crawl over

aside, most of the responses But that rather bitter anomaly were pretty, pretty positive. to the Warwick report press cuttings Hello, Julius. Morning, Julius. Just do that. Right. Would you like a cup of tea? what I'm going to suggest, if I may? No, no, I am bouncing! So Cupasoup? Not for me no. I'm hoping to go over the ASBOs. processed on this site? No. on this site, actioned or Are there any ASBOs processed is done over at Richmond Terrace. No, this is the ministry, everything Richmond...House is it? Just get my pen out. Terrace. Terrace. Sorry, OK, so that's... well. really. I'd like to have seen that. this for the last couple of weeks We've been bouncing around about impact upon the ASBO process. departments having some sort of ..and we've got five Whitehall DWP, Department of Health. We've got Lord Chancellor's, We take those away, so... let's put three with you. as, if, out of the five you've got, three are there. So out of the five, three for the time being. Two, four, Glenn's got custody of those six billion pounds there. so they come back to me. I take two away, straight through to the Treasury. I put that four billion that's a two billion pound figure, We're left with the one, the money saving departments and which we can spread across and good news for Hugh Abbott. good news for the Treasury that's good news for Number Ten, So that's where we are, I will... I shall leave that with you. Interesting thought. Within a few sort of... to put to you. See you later. we'll have something concrete to, I guess, months, All right. Bye. Bye. Er... yes. Where were we? He really is... this is dangerous. isn't he? If he's... But he's relatively harmless, He is actually unhinged. because this job's my livelihood. No, he's not harmless, because, And ours. you know. on, now, having a madman suggest... My children's shoes depend need two shoes each? But do your children He is not getting anywhere near my fucking pantry, I'll tell you that. That door is staying as open as a fat whore's bone hole. Sorry I'm late, the traffic was an absolute bitch, no offence, Robyn. How about the 8.30? How did that go? Very quick, in and out. Right, did you quiz him about the reshuffle? Um, I didn't get a chance. I did ask you specifically to do that... Hugh, I apologise, entirely my fault. Er, Robyn give me a printout and let me have a look at it. So Question Time up the swanee... Yeah. What the fuck d'you have to do to get on TV? Have sex with a pig, soil yourself? I don't know the minimum requirements are any more. Terri. Hi, how's it going? 'He's gone Hugh.' Oh, dear. Oh, I am so sorry, Terri, I really am.

That's, that's really... That's just, blimey. OK? You OK now? SOBBING Yeah, yep. Listen, what I was calling about, we'll forget, forget about that. There's no need to talk about that now. 'OK.' Right, because Question Time has bitten the dust and I was just going to, ask you if you could ring around some of your broadsheet contacts and, um, make absolutely sure that they're all coming to my party tonight. I just wanted to take the opportunity of saying I really am sorry that it got awkward with Hugh. I don't like lying to the minister, I really don't. Yes, I do understand all this sneaking about, you know, make people think we're having an affair.

Or something. You're joking? Well... They think we're having an affair? Well. God! It's a grave matter isn't it? Yeah. Not a good day to bury bad news. No. Oh, fuck! Julius, what a surprise. What a surprise. Thank goodness you didn't stumble on us burning a whole load of money on a big bonfire. Right. Well done on the chat we had this morning. The AIU are going to produce a paper on this in the next ten to twelve days. Raise yourselves a glass. Happi-ness. Yes. Right, well, I'll see you at this Treasury bash I suppose. What? The Treasury bash. The Horseguards Parade thing. Paul Webster, US Economic Secretary of State, he's unexpectedly coming over, and, er, Treasury are hosting a bash for him this evening.

Don't tell me you've not been invited. Yes, no, I have, it's just that I'm, um, I'm actually bashing myself tonight. So you, you've got your own bash, here? Yep, yep. Ah, back up everybody. Put the brakes on. We've got a bash happening here tonight and at the Treasury? Yeah. It sounds complicated, but I like to maximise my face.

OK, well how many have you invited? Um, all in I think we've invited about 150 people. And how many replies have you had? Er, about, I'd say, maybe half a side of A4. Well, figures, figures, figures. Twelve. Twelve? Twelve? But we're expecting to do quite a lot of business on the door. So you're feeling a bit "aaarrggh"! No, no I'm pretty relaxed about it. I'm feeling sort of "hmmmmm". Well, you know, it's quite a healthy turnout.

Healthy turnout, this is an ill turn out. I don't recognise any of these people, this kebab-shop owner, a child here who's like a butcher's apprentice. I mean who is she, Myra Hindley woman? Look, will you stop whinging? When this Prime Minister and Imelda fucking Marcos have gone, some of these hacks will cease to be pondlife and have some influence. Just go in and ingratiate yourself! ...he goes, in fact the PM told Geoff to get a life, but apparently he's, er waiting for the Treasury to clear it. "K-tssss". And Julius, Julius Nicholson, says, "I'm sorry, but I think you'll find that you're sitting in my seat". And this was to God, as I think I mentioned in the set up. Anyway, have a lovely time. Fiver if you set off the sprinklers. You know, if you put Hugh in a room full of people, he just, he just clicks. Sounds like West Side Story. Just... So who do you work for? Online Telegraph. I, um, update the subscription-only pages on the website. It's a bit dull really. And sorry, who are you? I, I'm not a journalist, I'm just one of Ollie's mates. Right. Angela, hello. Hello. Very nice to see you. Thank you for coming. So what's this about the demotion? Sorry, what, what demotion is that? Everyone knows that you're not sending anyone to Tucker's 8.30's any more. Sorry, you're saying that, we're not sending anyone to the 8.30s any more? Yes. That's what I'm saying. Yes, yes, yes, we, yes. Glenn, the 8.30s? Well, just because, um...

we're not going... to the 8.30s any more doesn't mean to say it isn't normal, interdepartmental practice, because you know, there just isn't enough room to get everybody there and it has to occur on a rotational basis. You getting all this? Yes, thanks it'll be on the website. Why didn't you tell me, Glenn? What possible reason did you have? You saw me, I was swinging like a colostomy bag. Oh, Hugh, grow up. You did nothing. There's stuff that happens in this department every day. I can't tell you everything. Since when, Glenn, does the Secretary of State for Social Affairs, have to find out from the fucking press that every morning at 8.30 I'm being fisted up to the gall bladder by a bald man? Oh, yes, my... Goodnight. Thanks for coming. Take it easy.

Right guys, thanks very much for staying on. Julius Nicholson, right? Yep. Blue-sky thinker. Ex-business guru. Dog rapist. Quite possibly. He's being a nuisance to me. He also has got plans to squeeze your department so hard you'll be lucky if you're left with one bollock between the three of you. So all I am doing here is asking you, formally, if you will join me in a little bit of a circle jerk. Circle jerk, what? It's when a lot of guys in a circle all, you know... I assume you don't mean literally, do you? Presumably? Tony Mac in the lobby, you know him, right? Yeah. Call him, tell him that you're getting it that Nicholson is going to get Foreign Sec in the reshuffle, via a seat. Tony. Hi, how's it dangling? Yeah?

Listen, I just want to run something past you. I wonder if you're hearing... I've been hearing, that Nicholson's going to be getting, er, Foreign Sec. Hugh, who is your top mate in the Commentariat? Colin Sykes? Colin Sykes? Yeah. That's your top mate? Yeah. Call him up. Hi Colin. Yes, it's Hugh Abbott speaking, how are you? Yeah, you got a decent backhand yet, have you? Hugh, Hugh Abbott, we played tennis together.

Yeah. I know it's probably bollocks, but that's what we all thought when Jim was up for Home Secretary, next thing, he's given up the Columbian Marching Powder and taken up the Sacraments. Foreign Secretary is exactly where he should be. I mean, he's a smart guy, he works hard. Cath, yeah, I dunno where that's come from. I've been getting that as well. At one point I think I called him a dog rapist. Stonewall them, OK, I'll talk to the boss, right. Now I've got to phone the Prime Minister of Great Britain. Alright, boss? Yeah, look, I'm really sorry to interrupt you, but we're getting hit blind-side down here. Stuff about Julius Nicholson. Cath and I's phones are both white hot. Stuff about him becoming Foreign Sec. Is there...? Am I out of the loop here? The person that's most likely to be getting his mates to be putting this kind of stuff around, is Julius Nicholson. You put so much hope in them, and they always let you down. I think maybe Julius needs to have his wings clipped a wee bit, you know? Do you want to do it? I think you're right. I think it's better that I just have a little chat. I'll see you in the morning. Bye. Fucking brilliant! Eight missed messages. Sleep lightly. He's incredible. Colin Sykes didn't know who I was. I don't know who Colin Sykes is. There you go. Swings and roundabouts. Who am I? Well, we'll find out tomorrow, won't we? Morning, morning, morning. So what's the story in Bala-fucking-mory? Reshuffle. Excellent. You win a year's supply of condoms. Which in your case is four. Anything? Fattie's just been in. You know, he just managed to squeeze past the policeman. If you were promoted, good for you. If it was a relegation, hard cheese. If he dumps me, I'm going to find that wife of his and click her right through the fucking head. Yeah. PHONE RINGS How d'you like this jib, darling? Bang! That noise is the phone. I know, I know. I'm in denial. If you don't know whether or not you were promoted or relegated, guess what? You were fucking relegated.

Great. OK, bye-bye. He wants me to go in. Just hope it isn't farmers. I just don't want to pretend to be nice to farmers. Knock it out the park! Yeah, good luck. Welcome back to lovely Robyn from the all new, totally revamped Department of Social Affairs and Citizenship. APPLAUSE I've got no fucking idea what that means either, but it spells SAC. Thank you. Thank you very much. No autographs please. SAC unfortunately are being turfed out of their rather tatty old building, to be replaced by Julius Nicholson and his Advanced Implementation Unit. And onto the broadcast schedule for today. Colin did Today which was lovely. Sweet FA for the World at One, please, as usual. You know the lines, "Most women ever.

"Younger average age than the AC Milan defence."