Note: Where available, the PDF/Word icon below is provided to view the complete and fully formatted document
Disclaimer: The Parliamentary Library does not warrant the accuracy of closed captions. These are derived automatically from the broadcaster's signal.
The Chaser's War On Everything 2007 -

View in ParlView

(generated from captions) BUZZ! Yes. Tom Petty! APPLAUSE Weezer's album, 'Pinkerton' in which Puccini opera... was named after a character 'Madame Butterfly'. BUZZ! It was Lieutenant Pinkerton. 'Madame Butterfly'. BUZZ! ELO stands for what? Yes, Electric Light Orchestra. Electric Light Orchestra. Your final three questions. come from America? Did the band America No. Na. Canada, I think. Yes! for a second? Can I just speak to them I thought they come from Canada. OK, you know. I met them recently. They came from America. Yes, they did come from America. It was a trick question. Well, done, Al. BUZZ! Did Europe come from Europe? They did. And your final question... They came from Sweden, didn't they? DING! LAUGHTER

ALAN: This is going to be very good. No. Did Asia come from Asia? The final question was - The correct answer!

RAUCOUS CHEERING LAUGHTER the final scores were... At the end of the show, Myf, Carl, and Colin, Alan, David, Cal, got 16 points. Yayyy! won the day with 19 points. APPLAUSE AND CHEERING all our guests for tonight. Would you please thank and Colin Lane. David Hobson, Cal Wilson, Carl Cox,


Alan Brough and Myf Warhurst. And our two team captains, APPLAUSE AND CHEERING we heard about the DJing prowess Earlier in the show all around the world. that has taken Carl Cox is going to end the show Tonight, Carl, exactly what he does best - by demonstrating our Malvern Stars on 45 turntables. spinning a few disco tracks on

over to the decks, please? Carl, would you make your way APPLAUSE Thank you, sir. Spicks and Specks. Thanks for watching Goodnight, Australia. My name's Adam Hills. SONG: # Tell you what to do too # Gotta be your judge and the jury # De, de-de, de-de, de # Let nobody tell you what to do-oo # Gotta be your judge and jury too # Alright # De, de-de, de-de, de and let it all hang out # You got to do your thing what it's all about # Got to really show them # Move on up, don't look around try to put you down...down, down # A few of us always

'SUPERFREAK' BY RICK JAMES SONG: # She's a very kinky girl to mother # The kind you don't take home down # She will never let your spirits oh, girl # Once you get off the street, # She likes the boys in the band all-time favourite # She says that I'm her # She's a super freak, super freak # She's super freaky now # Everybody sing... # (Panting) Come on! # Hooked on your stuff

on your stuff... # # She's got me hooked you see, baby SONG: # I got a good thing, # Everything you can do... # APPLAUSE AND CHEERING Closed Captions by CSI . CC

(Theme music)


Thank you for joining us

around Australia. Welcome to

Australian War Memorial for

another week. It has been a

huge week in politic was the

ALP conference on the

weekend. With Kevin Rudd as

the star attraction, a bit

like a'Star Trek' convention

only more nerdy. I'm not sold

on Rudd. The election shapes

up as contest between two

fairly similar men. Kevin

Rudd, a twerp, arrogant wants

to send uranium overseas.

Then Howard, arrogant, a

twerp and wants to send

Amanda Vanstone overseas. A

big slap in the face to Peter

Garrett who has always

opposed uranium mining. Once

again overruled by Rudd.

Peter Garrett has had to

Riera lease some of their

Midnight Oil records, their

album Head Injuries has been

put out as Credit Injuries. And blue sky mining

will be good according to the

economy and Kevin Rudd.

Howard says Australia should

develop nuclear power as recommended in that Ziggy

Switkowski report. Why

wouldn't you listen to the

former head of Telstra. If

there is a nuclear leak I'm

sure someone will fix it the

between 7am and 11pm as long

as you are there to let them in. Kevin Rudd came out of

the conference well. He spoke

about the challenge facing

modern Labor The challenge

of Muslims and how we respond

to the complexity of its

threat in substance rather

than sound bite. Hear that?

You would never find Kevin

Rudd reducing everything to

sound bites, would you? A

lock term prosperity without

throwing a fair go out the

back door. Without throwing

the fair go out the back

door. Possible perty for Australia without throwing

the fair go out the back door. Prosperity without

throwing the fair go out the

back door. I wish he would

throw that sound bite out the

back zoor! There was a great

turn out at the conference.

Including some big ALP

luminaries, Gough Whitlam,

Simon Crean. But one was not

as welcome as others. Kevin,

beware, I'm the ghost of Mark

Latham. Remember my face? Remember the honeymoon

period? I was leading in the

polls too. Choose the fork in

the road, it is a dull

cliche, remember the ladder

of opportunity. You are not

Mark Latham at all.

Remember me, Wayne.

Remember. The ghost of a

long time past. And the

ghost of the future T polls

will change too. There is no

votes in man boobs. Beware

the Government scare

campaign. Beware, it's even

more scary than me. I've

always wanted to be hit by

you. We don't want you here,

mate. I now put the

question. A point of order!

Delegates I now...I'm the

ghost of Mark Latham, beware.

Blue blew a point of order.

Met me in. Ease the squeeze.

Show me the way to a taxi.

I'm going to beat the crap

out of a taxidriver. I'm that

angry! That's kind of how

it works inside wikapaedia in

terms of different aspects of

our Government's

model. Timmy, look I just

have 10 questions. First how

are you enjoying Australia?

How do our computers compare

to ones in America? Why does

everyone I am IT kept you

look like a day time soap

store? MAc or PC, do you

give a shit? There are 1.7

million articles on

wikapaedia, how long did it

take you to write them?

Could you up load a better

photo? My dog has little

scabs under his chin, could

you recommend the number of a

local vet? Jessica Rowe and

Peter Overton? 9th, crack pepper. How do you feel that

when I looked you up on wikapaedia this morning I

changed your page to say you

were a teenage drug Lord from


APPLAUSE, a lot of

coffee. You got 4 out of. I

will add that to your

wikapaedia page. Thank you.

APPLAUSE Now I don't know

about you, Chaz, but one

thing that annoys me is how

much it costs to go out. I

went to the zoo on the

weekend and it cost a

fortune. It is the same everywhere, cinemas, fun

parks, brothels, no wonder

families cannot afford to go

out. We realised you can be

smarter about this. We fund a gaping loophole that can

slash the price of admission

pretty well anywhere. Can I

have one adult and one baby,

please? $32. We don't

change until they are

4. Good. Chaz, let's see the

animals then. Okay. Come on.

Alright. Let's go. Thank

you, see you. How much is it

for the baby? Free. ?22.50.

Okay, thanks. You can't take

the carriage into the theatre. Okay. Can I carry him in?

Yes, that's fine. I will do

that then. Just keep quiet,

Chaz. (Crying) The movie

will be good. I want to see

the other movie. He will not

be too scared by the Sharks?

It's not a scary place, okay

for little babies? He will

be fine. He is 10 months. He

is very advanced. I'm so

proud of him. He is only 10

months old. I'm 11 months

old, dad. Sorry, 11 months

old. Which one is it? The

Play House. It sounds woosy. The construing site is

not woosy at all. Let's see

the fish. Okay, Chaz,

excellent. Let's go in. Cool.

You said that babies are

free. He needs to pay. He is

a baby. He is a baby, he is

my little boy, come on.

Little cutey. Come on. I'm

under three years old. Are

you having a go at me about

my size? I'm very sensitive

about that. You will make me

cry. He might not be the

prettiest kid but he is my

little boy. Don't worry about

the mean man, we will go and

see the fish. Give me a hand

with the pram, please. Give

it a lift. Come on. We have

to come down. That is

alright. He needs a hand. I

will break my fragile legs.

will break my fragile legs.

Gather up. This car is a car

r carbon monoxide emitter, a

carbon dioxide emitter, it is

a carbon trioxide emitter.

Why, it's gas-guzzler.

# We'll get a super sized

fuel tank and pop it full of

pure lead

# Keep pumping

# Burning up the gallons full

throttle until the planet is


# I love emissions

# You need an oil rig just to

fuel a car this big

# Invest in BHP if you drive

an SUB

# Go gas-guzzler, you never

beat the CBD

# Go gas-guzzler, you running

over small kiddies

# We all consume, your toxic fume

# With 'gas guzzler'!

# We wage add war in Iraq

just to guarantee the oil flow

# Arab oil, I want that Arab oil

# My car is Japanese but I

have joined Kyoto

# When I buy another think

ill trade up to a Hummer

# Put the pedal to the floor

# Let's run oval gore

# Go gas-guzzler, you are

taking up all the road

# Go gas-guzzler, you are

carrying a wanker load

# The CO2 is next to you,

thanks to you

# And gas-guzzler...

APPLAUSE Now Andrew you know

me pretty well. You know I

don't mind a drink or two at

the end of the working day.

Or the start. One of the

things I've notice bad the

pubs is that they have these people called the

three-minute angels. Has

anyone else come across these

guys? They circulate around the pub asking you if you

want a massage. Quite a

coincidence because a guy in

the red-light district got a

three-minute angel

massage. Each to their own.

It is wonderful idea. So does

he. Why is it only a massage? Surely there is a market out

there for a lot of other services. You could offer

people all these things in a

bar. Excuse me, how is your

evening going? We are a

travelling dentist wondering

if anyone wants any dental

work done this evening? Just

three minutes. Open wide.

This is scary. I hate the dentist. Just suction, put

your head back further. Some

gingivitis there. Oh God. I

think you might need a

doctor, a drill or something.

We don't have anesthetic so

the Bundy will actually numb

the pain. Head back, please,

Sir. Rinse. Hello we are the

free gynaecologist. How is

your have Gian ya. It is

fairly non-in trucive, move

the noodles and we can do it

on the table. Anybody care

for a scrape? Toxicologists,

interested in an anal

examination. In between pumps

we can spread the flesh to

batters, get in there and be

out. You do not want to take

a quick drive down the

Vegemite motorway? Get out.


You look like truies its

that have been imported

direct. Do you want me to

take your photo? Wide shots,

digital, black and white,

multiple frame, red-eye

reduction, an incredible

range of photographic

techniques. That is right.

Say it for me "Bargains".

Bargains. Now say "Massively reduced". Massively

reduced. I need you to smile

and say for me "$5". $5.

Look at this imported


Now it is a great honour

for us to talk about Fox

News. This is the future of

news. In fact Fox News has

more viewers than every other News Channel in America put

together. Rights no wonder.

Whether other News Channel

cover the American

presidental race they take

about trivial things like

tax, foreign policy, the

environment but only Fox

tackles the biggest issue of

all. She needs better

accessories, she needs a

great bag, shoes, shoes always work for everybody. She could be

dressed in a dress designed

very much like the way Meryl

Streep lookhood had in the

Devil Wears Prada. I think

she has a lovely figure and I

would like to see her show

her legs more. Take that

Hilary! Fox has assembled the

finest to crunch the numbers

on who is America's favourite

Democrat. I had no idea that

150 per cent of Americans

plan to vote in the next election. Those figures

brought to you by Fox's statistics bureau. Another

great thing about Fox is that

it appeals to people of all

ages. For instance check out

their program for young

bloggers. You can tell it is

for young bloggers because of

the totally uncontrived

manner in which the hosts

open the show. The web

revolution is here. The most

natural way you could appear

on television really. The

only problem with that youth

program is that Fox's

youngest most funky presenter

is some 48-year-old IT nerd.

For me I had a reality check

on the campaign trail. I

whats trying to get my head

around how the candidates are

working the web. He was

tapping mogul money and

speaking to the people. And

so were we. Noisy dude. It

is our pleasure to introduce

the king of Fox News, star

presenter Bill

O'Reilly. Every night a whole

Army of guests appears on the

O'Reilly Factor and they talk

to him about every topic

under the sun. The hole show

is driven by his central

philosophy. Anybody has a

problem they will be invited

on and treated respectfully. Like this. He

does not have a right. He did

not commit a felony. He does

not have a right to be in

this country. That has

nothing to do with the fact

he was a drunk. He should

have been deported and this

mayor and the Police Chief.

You want an open-border

anarchy. I want is fairness.

We have lured these

people... That was fairly

loud. In fact Bill O'Reilly

is geting so loud and they

are thinking of replacing him

with a host who can be less

loud and more soothing. Of

course sometimes having the

loudest voice in the world is

not enough to over power your

guest. That is when he

resorts to Plan B. That is

what I spent 29 years of my

trying to do. Somewhere along

the line... I served 29

years, how many did you

serve. Hat did you teach the

Geneva Convention. I'm glad

she came on. I wanted you to

see her. Bill is not just

respect full to his guests

but to sexually abused

children. Do you remember the

case of Sean Hornbeck and 11-year-old Nicole Kidman

napped and abused by this man

for four years before he

finally escaped. Most people

would think a sexually abused

child would be deserving of

sympathy but our Bill had his

own theory. The situation

here for this kid looks to me

to be a lot more fun than

what he had under his old

parents. He did not have to

go to school, he could run

around, do whatever wanted

and I think when it all comes

down what will happen is

there was an element here

that this kid liked about his circumstances. Bill knows

what kids want. In fact he

has even opened up his own

holiday camp. Hey kids, want

to have the time of your

life? Then come to Camp

O'Reilly. As Bill himself

says... no school, play all

day long. Our friendly staff

are more fun than your old

parents. Stay for four years

and go away with a lifetime

of psychological harm. Why

would you ever want to leave?

Dram is a statue busker.

In the last 10 years he has

travelled the world drawing

crowds in every major city of

Europe and America. But a

debilitating illness now

threatens his livly hood.

Since I've developed

Parkinsons disease I'm

finding it very hard to make

a living, yes. It is a Sunday

afternoon and Dram hosts a

BBQ lunch for his fellow

statue colleagues. Pass me

those cut lets, mate? Not

really. All of us are here

in support of Alan. We have

been asking the statue

busker's union to lobby for

compensation and went on

strike last week staging a

massive March through the

speech. Alan has been forced

to adapt his repertoire to

make ends meet I've stopped

doing the traditional statues

but you learn the adjust and

I'm attracting crowds doing

Mohamed Ali at the Atlanta

Olympics. Times to roll up

our sleeves, the segment

where they break it, we fix

it. The first problem the US

rapper Snoop Dogg. The Dog

has been impounded. He was

set the to host MTV Awards in

Australia and he was denied

entry to the country. Snoop's

supporters would not take it

lying down. We got together a

posse of pimps and hoes and

went to the Immigration

Department to find out what's

up...why you dishing on my

main man The Dog. The Dog needs to represent in

Australia's hood, yeah.

Bitches, you leave The Dog,

ain't that right. You need

to leave the building. Don't you mother-fuckers know you

can't regulate The Dog T dog

regulates you, with cold hard

steel. Don't make me put no

cap in your arse, nigger. It

is if police. We are here.

Please leave. Please, nigger,

nigger, please! Back off,

nigger. Rodney King all over

again. Clearly police

brutality there. Alright.

Next problem, fatty kids,

they are getting fatter and

fatter and a lot of experts

point the finger at fast food

chains. One Maccas store is

trying to make kids stop

eating burger by putting

condoms in the meal. These

changes are an obesity palace, God knows why they

put in the play lands when

kids are too fat to get into

them. We have a fat kids

play land t couch and the TV,

the fat kids play land. You

haven't got play equipment,

we have the fat kids play

ground, they don't want it at

Maccas, do you want it? KFC

play land.

# Kids watch TV, KFC... I

will work on it. You don't

want to have it too far from

there, they can't walk too

far and they can order from

here, too "More fries". Kids

can't climb that high any

more. Come on, obesity, mate,

you have done your part,

credit where credit is due,

here is a fat kids play

lafnltd you kids are too

skinny for that couch, have a

few more burgers. You will be

on the couch in no time.

Finally tonight grumpy news

agents. I'm sick to death of

being told a newsagency is

not a library. I'm a man who

likes to take my time and

browse but you would not

believe some of the attitude

I cop sometimes. (up-beat

music) Yeah? I need to

check if I want to buy it.

You can't lie down tonight is

uncomfortable. It's a big

magazine. I'm trying to

read, mate. Can't I read it first in case I don't like?

I don't want to get the wrong

paper. It is very

uncomfortable to stand this

long. Get out of the shop,

please. Oh, okay. What is

"Improving" or "Getting"?

Six letters? Don't finish

yet? Known what have I start

it for then?

You don't have toilet

paper here, do you? No, just the paper.

No, you buy. But I don't know if I want it.

Yeah, I 'll take that,



Oh yes, it is time to get

our hands dirty in the

commercial world and find out

if ads do really come true if

you recreate them in real

life. There is Abu teak out

this week. I have only seen

it once or twice. It is a

rice biscuit called So Ho

Delight. The ad add goes like this.

# Got to find my So's, got to

find them tight

# Grab some afternoon delight

# The motto has always been

when it's right it's right

# The thought of eating you

is so exciting

# Sky rockets in flight

# Afternoon delight

# Afternoon delight...(crunch)

# Afternoon delights... Yes,

harmony in the workplace.

Quite an original concept if

you ignore the fact that Will

Ferrell did exactly the same

thing much better in the

movie 'Anchorman'. There is a

slight wiff of 'Anchorman'

about it. The premise surely

holds that if you open up a

box of the biscuits in a

typical office environment

then everyone around you will

automatically start to sing

Afternoon Delight. That

sound logical but will it

work in the real world?

# Going to find my So's

# Going to hold them tight

# Going to grab that afternoon delight

# The motto has been when

it's right it's right

# And the thought of eating

you is so exciting harsh sky

rockets in flight

# Afternoon dliegts...

# Afternoon dliegts

# Afternoon dliegts... # Afternoon dliegts

# Afternoon de lights...

# Afternoon de lights

# Afternoon de lights...

# Afternoon de lights... Do

you want me to write-down the

lyrics? I will write them

down for you. Your breath


APPLAUSE Look at that,

another ad road test, signed,

sealed and failed and it's a

good night from all of us. If

you would like us to test

another ad or if you have a

problem for us to fix it is

on the War guest book. Until

next week...goodnight. Subtitles by ITFC

Closed Captions by CSI

Let's do one without


Closed Captions by CSI


Good evening. Liberal Senator Bill

Heffernan has apologised for saying

Labor's Julia Gillard is

Labor's Julia Gillard is deliberately barren, and unfit to be deputy Prime

Minister. Senator Heffernan faced an

avalanche of criticism over the

comments including from within his

own party. The Opposition Leader

Kevin Rudd says its a vicious

personal attack and indicates the

Federal Government is out of step

with voters. A senior doctor at a

Queensland hospital is being

investigated for misconduct after he

hired four unregistered interns. The

Queensland chief health officer's

report claims the medical graduates

were employed at Cairns hospital

without their qualifications being

properly screened. A second doctor

quit before today's report was

quit before today's report was handed down, but he'll still be

down, but he'll still be investigated by the medical board. And the

by the medical board. And the Solomon Islands has confirmed Australian

fugitive Julian Moti will be

appointed attorney general next week.

The Solomons Prime Minister says,

Australia has shown no evidence

proving alleged child sex charges

against Julian Moti. That means the

ban on him taking up the position of

Attorney General will be lifted this

week. Now, tomorrow's national

weather - windy with showers for

Melbourne, showers also in Canberra,

Hobart, Adelaide and Perth. Fine in

Darwin, Brisbane and Sydney.

Darwin, Brisbane and Sydney. There'll be more news on 'Lateline' tonight

be more news on 'Lateline' tonight at 10:30.

Have I told you about the fancy dress?! No. I've not told you No you ain't, babe. The fancy dress party when I was living at me mum's? No. I have told you! You ain't told me. Mum, he said, I ain't told him about the fancy dress party! She MUST have told you about the fancy dress party. No, she ain't. He says you ain't. I have told him. She says she has told you. She ain't told me. She ain't told you? APPLAUSE No! What happened? A fancy dress party, that's what happened. We had a fancy dress party. No! Can you imagine? Don't make me laugh! Don't start me off. Don't start him off. You started him off! Here we go. I nearly died, it was so funny. I was in agony, I laughed so much. Are you ready for this? I don't know if I am. Go on, Dad! Melanie has come as Shirley Temple licking a big lollipop and tap dancing all over the gaff. Who's Melanie? Melanie Baker, Mum's friend from aerobics. Worked in the multiplex. Got a cat with double paws. She done that fun run dressed as a bottle of Cinzano... ... And forgot to get sponsored. Pauline, with the big hands, she's come as Posh Spice. Which is a bit much, because she must be 11 stone. Halfway through the day she says she ain't Posh Spice, she's Carol Vorderman, before she went on the detox. I nearly died. She's walloping herself round the kitchen saying, "Consonant or vowel?" It was lethal. Lisa Jackson, she's gutted she ain't got a costume and wants to know if she put some ink toner on her face, can she come as Ainsley Harriott? She can't say that. She don't mean nothing by it, she's deaf in one ear. Shut up will ya! We ain't got to the funny bit yet. Well, don't tell me there's more? This is a classic. Lunchtime right, I've sent me mum down Sainsbury's to get the food, I'd have gone meself,

but I promised Shelley I'd do her highlights before the party because she wanted to come as Kylie. And I said, I'd do what I could, but I couldn't promise nothing, cos she's got hair like cotton wool. So, I've gone armed with a list. I've got specific instructions to get... ALL: Four packs of sausage rolls, eight bags of chicken drumsticks and an unwaxed lemon. Stop it! You know what she's like, when she gets in the shops, guaranteed she's gonna bump into someone she knows, and when she starts yapping, that's it, list or no list, game over, it is out of control. What are you like? You know what she's like. You know what I'm like. She's come back from the shops, she's put the bag on the table, we've opened the bag, we've looked in the bag... What's in the bag? ALL: A tray of vegetarian chipolatas and a strawberry cheesecake. Well, I've looked at her like that. She's looked at me like that. I've looked at both of them like this. ALL: We're all looking at each other like this. You know what she's done, don't you? What's she done? She's bought the wrong thing. Oh, my God! I know! I know! You are mental! Stop it, I'm gonna wet meself! I'm gonna wet meself as well! I have wet meself. What's an unwaxed lemon? ALL: We dunno! Elaine Figgis is one of a growing number of women prepared to go to extraordinary lengths to find love. Sadly, however, last year she suffered a setback, when her husband of nine days was electrocuted on Death Row in his Texan penitentiary. But Elaine hasn't given up. This is Gummidge, he's my computer. Although don't call him a computer, he'll take offence. My friend Tex at line dancing class, that's his country name, his real name's Rowland, he says that Gummidge is my global pimp. I'm not exactly sure what a pimp is, to be honest, but...although I know Gladys Knight had three of them. DING! Oh, hang on, Paulo's just signed on. I'd better just tell him I'm busy, otherwise I'll never hear the last of it. There. Do you know, I've met people from all over the world, all from this little chair. America, Brazil, Australia, Africa even. And where is Paulo from? Reading. Hank's just signed on, he's from Wisconsin. He's a lovely man, but keeps sending me pictures of his penis. Do you get a lot of that? No, as I say, I don't get to meet many of them because of the distance involved. Oh, you mean pictures of them? Oh, yeah, I get tons of them. I don't encourage it, but I'm very broadminded. Mind you, if it continues like this, I am going to have to get myself a bigger hard drive. COMPUTER CHIMES Oh, hang on, who's this? Oh, oh, that's Kyle. He's an actor, well at least he says he is. Do you find a lot of people lie about themselves on internet chat rooms? I think, at the end of the day, you have to take everything with a pinch of salt. I mean, for example, this is the picture I use online. Now, strictly speaking, that isn't actually me. It's my friend Cath's daughter, but we're both Sagittarius with Gemini rising, so you can't get much closer than that. OK, what time does the film start? Two o'clock. Right, we've got enough time. Hi guys! Welcome to BBJ's. I'm your waitress for today, my name's Amanda, but my friends call me Zebedee. I'm a fiery Taurean with my moon in Uranus, careful, I'll do the jokes! Um, can we see the menus? OK guys, here's the deal, I can give you the menus, but we've got a special promotion on this week, where if you can tell us what we've got on the menus, you get entered into our special mind reader draw. We'll just have some menus if that's OK, thank you. Table nine ducking out of the mind reader draw. OK guys, here's your menus. And here's your menu, you cheeky little munchkin. What's your name? Robbie. And how old are you, Robbie? Eight. Eight? I was eight when I was your age.

Okalie dokalie. And what does little Robbie want? I want a Captain Octopus fish burger, please. Aye-aye captain, and would you like soapy fries with that today for yourself? What are soapy fries? They're like curly fries, except they're straight and they taste of soap. Just normal fries. I'll have a hot, hot, hot burger. Table nine going for hot, hot, hot burgers!

# Ole, ole, ole, ole # Feeling hot, hot, hot Feeling hot, hot, hot. #

Look, A. A is for apple. Yum, yum. And aeroplane. T is for train. Tchcaca. Tchcaca. And also for...tired.

Oh, H is for haven't slept in weeks. And house. Hmm, that's right darling, because Mummy doesn't sleep any more, does she, Molly? Hmm? N is for no sleep for Mummy. R, what's R for, sweetheart? Do you know what R's for? It's for rabbit, floppy floppy bunny rabbit. And really need to go to bed. P is for parents. F is for forever. K, well K can be loud like kayak, or silent, as in... knackered. I is for igloo, that's where the Eskimos live.