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Clarke, Dawe and Costello -

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Clarke, Dawe and Costello


MAXINE MCKEW: Well, it's time now for John Clarke and Bryan Dawe. They're taking a look at the hill
song in Peter Costello's heart

BRYAN DAWE AS AN INTERVIEWER: Okay. Our next contestant. Your name is Peter?

JOHN CLARKE AS PETER COSTELLO: Yes, that's right, yes.

BRYAN DAWE: What do you do, Peter?

PETER COSTELLO: I'm a Treasurer.

BRYAN DAWE: Oh, a treasurer. My, that must be an interesting job, is it?

PETER COSTELLO: Yeah, it can be a bit repetitive sometimes. I actually wouldn't mind becoming a
prime minister at some point.

BRYAN DAWE: Good luck, Peter. Your special subject tonight is right-wing incidents in the life of

PETER COSTELLO: That's correct.

BRYAN DAWE: Your time starts now. Name one right-wing incident in the life of Christ?

PETER COSTELLO: He threw the money lenders out of the temple.

BRYAN DAWE: Can you be more specific?

PETER COSTELLO: He went into the temple and there were money lenders there and he became very angry
and tipped their tables over and told them they were usurers and threw them out, biffed them out of
the place altogether, biffed them out of the temple.

BRYAN DAWE: What I meant was how was that a right-wing thing to do?

PETER COSTELLO: Oh, yeah, I see. It probably isn't, is it?

BRYAN DAWE: Can you think of anything else, Peter?

PETER COSTELLO: Yeah, he fed 4,000 people at one time by sharing food.

BRYAN DAWE: How much did he charge for that food?

PETER COSTELLO: No, he didn't charge for the food, Bryan. He shared his food. They were hungry and
he broke up food. It was loaves and fishes. You probably heard the story.

BRYAN DAWE: I know the story. I'm trying to find the right-wing element in feeding people who need

PETER COSTELLO: There probably isn't one, is there? He healed the sick.


PETER COSTELLO: But actually I think he probably did that for nothing. In fact, I think he probably
did that because he loved mankind.

BRYAN DAWE: It's not really a right-wing mantra, is it?

PETER COSTELLO: It's not a central tenet in capitalism, the laying on of hands, no.

BRYAN DAWE: He made the lame walk, too, didn't he?

PETER COSTELLO: He did, and he forgave the people who killed him.

BRYAN DAWE: Did he stick any people in detention centres?

PETER COSTELLO: Oh, no, I don't think he would have approved of that at all, BRYAN. He got one
bloke up from the dead. A bloke was dead and he made him walk.

BRYAN DAWE: This is Lazarus?

PETER COSTELLO: Lazarus. He healed him completely. I don't think he would have approved of putting
people in a detention centre, no.

BRYAN DAWE: Peter, would you like to reconsider your special subject tonight - right-wing incidents
in the life of Christ...

PETER COSTELLO: Oh, no. I'll think of something, Bryan. I mean, I'll have to come up with something
sooner or later.

BRYAN DAWE: Why is that?

PETER COSTELLO: Oh, for this other project I'm working on.

BRYAN DAWE: You've snookered yourself a bit here, Peter, haven't you?

PETER COSTELLO: Oh, no, Bryan. He said at one stage it would be as difficult for a rich man to
enter the kingdom of heaven as it would be for the camel to pass through the eye of a needle.

BRYAN DAWE: Oh, I'll have to check that with the adjudicator, Peter. Hang on. Can we accept that?
Yep, sure. Hang on, I'll ask. Peter, what is your net worth?