Senator McGAURAN (7:08 PM) —I rise to speak briefly as I feel that Senator Ludwig’s comments—I apologise: Senator Marshall’s comments—

Opposition senators interjecting—

Senator McGAURAN —You all merge into one over there after a few years in government, because you all mouth the same things. I can barely separate what you say and what you look like sometimes. You are just one big monolith for the union movement.

Senator Sherry —Madam Acting Deputy President, on a point of order: is what senators look like relevant to the debate? The point of order is relevance. Senator McGauran is not speaking to the report. The report is not on the looks or otherwise of senators in this chamber.

The ACTING DEPUTY PRESIDENT (Senator Moore)—Senator, I do not accept that you have a point of order.

Senator McGAURAN —As is so frequently the case with Senator what’s-his-name over there.

The ACTING DEPUTY PRESIDENT —Senator, I think you should withdraw that comment.

Senator McGAURAN —I withdraw it. Of course it is Senator Sherry. Anyone would know him by voice, by looks and by the absurd points of order he often takes in this chamber. To be brief on this matter, I feel that Senator Marshall’s comments have to be challenged because they use the classic tactic we have been getting from the opposition through this whole industrial relations debate. It is to build this straw case—as those listening to the broadcast would have heard—of saying: ‘Chewing gum will get you sacked. Look out, Mr Worker. Look out, labourers. The big, bad boss will get you if you so much as look sideways or if you so much as chew gum.’ They build this straw case and attempt the classic fear tactics. Hasn’t the argument from the other side reached the absolute absurd, if not the desperate, if this is what they are citing as the terror within the detail of this legislation—that the big, bad boss will get you for absolutely anything now? That utterly lacks an understanding of the reality of the workplace. How out of touch can you get, particularly in today’s workplace? That was not the reality of the workplace 10 years ago, let alone today’s workplace where labour is in short supply. The opposition have completely missed the reality of the workplace.

I feel like we are at a mad hatter’s tea party during this debate in which the absolute absurd is being discussed. You are all sitting around the table discussing the absolute stupidity of whether you will get dismissed for chewing gum or not. The truth of the matter is that, in itself, of course you will not get sacked for chewing gum. If you are inside a factory, it could be—

Senator Sherry —Do you guarantee it?

Senator McGAURAN —I will guarantee it. Come into this chamber one day, once this legislation is passed, and tell me of the person who has been rightfully sacked for chewing gum. This is not the mad hatter’s tea party, Senator Sherry. People will not get sacked for chewing gum, in itself. I qualify that by saying ‘in itself’.

Senator Sherry —Madam Acting Deputy President, I rise on two points of order. Firstly, Senator McGauran should not be responding to disorderly injections from this side of the chamber!

The ACTING DEPUTY PRESIDENT —Thank you for that advice, Senator Sherry!

Senator Sherry —My second point of order is that he promised this would be brief, and it has gone on far too long.

The ACTING DEPUTY PRESIDENT —The senator has his five minutes, Senator.

Senator McGAURAN —This has gone further than I thought, because the more I dwell on the matter the more I see the absurdity in it. I am hoping—it is a feigned attempt—to try and get it across to the other side. As I said, I will guarantee, Senator Sherry, that, in itself, no-one will be sacked for chewing gum. I obviously know the reality of the workplace better than you. You have such a factory mentality. You are thinking: if you are chewing gum while you are working in a factory, how could you possibly be sacked for that? Of course you could not. It is probably encouraged. But, Senator Sherry, what if the case is that you are chewing gum at reception at a five-star hotel? You might even have a spit in the spittoon. There is an order of conduct. I think there would be some workplaces where chewing gum is out of place, where you could be rightfully warned. Whether you are sacked or not is another thing, but you could be rightfully warned to take the gum out of your mouth. I dare say if you came into this chamber and started chewing gum you would be brought to order by this most efficient and respectable chair. And so you ought to be. You are not allowed to eat in this chamber. Do you reckon you would be sacked or kicked out if you came into this chamber and ate? Come on! Stop dragging us into your mad hatter’s tea party.